In the movie Rockstar Matthew Glave (playing “Izzy’s" brother) starts poking Mark Wahlberg. Mark jumps up and pounds him. In the movie Stepbrothers, Will Farrel and John C Reilly lie in bed and threaten each other repeatedly, and eventually Farrell tries to bury Reilly alive. (While searching for quotes from this movie, I was laughing hysterically in my office. People probably think I’m nuts). Also, my best friends have kids that are just a tad older than Connor and Josephine and I’ve witnessed the interactions and more than likely peered into our future. So I was completely shocked when Nita came into my home office the other day and said, “I need the camera.” I curiously followed her into Connor’s room and there was Connor sleeping, and Josie was finger in his face about to wake him up.
I thought Nita was insane. I figured Connor would either throw a short right or mule-kick her across the room. I prepared myself for this and hoped for the best. Luckily, all he did was follow his training twice! How good is that? We’ve been trying to teach him not to push or kick Josie, slap things out of her hand, or grab things away from her that are his. Instead he is supposed to ask for our help and we’ll take care of the situation. Don’t y’all worry about Connor’s future; this is about not beating on his sister. I don’t plan on raising Gandhi and he will get some MMA learnin’ later. In any case he opened his eyes and Josie was reaching for his lovie and he said, “MaaaaaaaaaahhhM! I need you! Tell Josie NO!” This, by the way, is much easier to fix than a mule-kick. It was pretty cute, Josephine then crawled up on his little bed and was pretty sweet. She loves her some Connor right now.
Remember how I mentioned that I always have some sort of project going on? Well, a few years ago (if you are on the Christmas list you remember the story about “two Mexicans and a few beers?” Well, the huge outdoor fireplace we built was used about four times. Each time (since by definition it’s cold and windy) the smoke would end up blowing into the house or at least stay under the patio and we’d have to run the fans to help it dissipate. So it was too smokey to really have any functional value. Also a couple of years ago, for Christmas we got mom some gas fireplace logs and a burner. Now whenever she wants a fire, she just turns the key and poof, instant fire. When she’s done, click, she’s done. No muss, no fuss. So I started thinking…why not an outdoor gas fire pit. This also enabled us to channel our inner Tool time Tim and demolish the old fireplace. We are now building the new fire pit. I’m rigging up a couple of small propane tanks (we don’t have gas in our neighborhood and we live on rock and I’m not going to rent a jackhammer crew to bury a 500 gallon tank) to the pit for a similar feel. Kind of like the fire pits at Steiner ranch steakhouse if you’ve been on the patio. Lava Rocks, some embers, maybe some logs, still deciding what will go in the middle.
The other major advantage of the fire pit versus fireplace, was now you can see the entire back yard including the play scape from both our security camera and the kitchen sink window. The camera feature is awesome because I have a live feed to my smart phone. When I’m traveling and on the road, I can still steal a few minutes by watching my kids playing outside. It’s a pretty nice treat and always makes me smile. The main reason for this story is once again, the bobcat had to make another visit. Connor excitedly got to see the bobcat at work. The guys left it overnight and of course Connor had to go play on it. He had a big time and even brought over his little front loader to “help.” The cutest part was when he was taking parts of the flagstone out of the bobcat’s bucket and putting into his little front loader to assist.
Josie meanwhile was really doing us a favor. She was enjoying all of the toys we bought Connor when he was one. She loves playing on his little house/slide, loves his little car, and his Winnie the Pooh riding toy. So much so that I’m wondering, “do I need to buy her presents?” Can’t I just either re-wrap or just present her with Connor’s hand me down toys that he has outgrown? I mean we really did go a little nuts with Connor and most of his things are still in great condition. Am I a bad parent? I mean sure some of the stuff is a little gender specific and Nita is talking about getting her some dolls and a baby, but the big stuff should be fine right? Good, I thought so too. Besides, in this economy… well you know.
So the weather is turning just in time for the fire pit. I envision a S’mores night in the near future, or maybe even a glass of wine under the stars after we get the kids to bed night. Someone told Nita and me that our marriage was like a child. We need to nurture and encourage that child as much as much as our own children. It’s hard when you’re not sleeping through the night because one of the non-metaphorical children start crying, have night terrors, or are cutting teeth. But we’re still trying to make some time for each other. A friend told me once that there are periods of time where you hate your spouse while at the same time are lost in adoration with your children. I thought he was out of his mind, but I’m sure all of you have had that moment(s) when you are completely out of patience, exhausted, and your spouse just says exactly what you don’t need or want to hear. So I can see where he was coming from. Then I thought about how our third (technically first) child reacted to its siblings. Not quite a mule-kick, but there was definitely some pouting. There were clearly times when it threw tantrums, felt jealous, envious, and needed attention. And in all honesty we neglected it a little bit. Luckily we were able to recognize it and get back on track. I’m sure most if not all of you have gone through this. No one ever said this was easy, but our rewards are huge. I was swinging Connor in the swing set last night and just out of the blue he said, “Daddy, I love you.” Didn’t ask for anything, wasn’t trying to manipulate me, just made a matter of fact statement. How did I feel?! So we’re all doing fine and doing our best to love and nurture all “three” of our kids. That’s a metaphor mom, we are not pregnant.
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