Thursday, February 9, 2012

Wednesdays with Abuelita.

Okay so before anyone jumps the gun here, mom is fine.  There is nothing wrong with her and in fact she’s even losing weight and feeling better.  So with that out of the way, I’ll begin.
This is the week of our huge sales training for my company.  We go and take over a hotel and essentially schedule about 18 hours of each day filled with all the new things we’re doing, building and selling.  As I was flying out I grabbed a book that has been sitting in my study for quite some time.  Usually I’ll read a Vince Flynn book and enjoy secret agent Mitch Rapp as he dispatches all enemies against the State.  But alas, I’ve read them all now. So I grabbed the book Tuesday’s with Morrie.  If any of you haven’t read it before or don’t know the premise, it is about a writer who hears that his favorite college professor is dying of ALS.  So he decides to visit him and he records their visits each Tuesday while he is fading.  Each day has a different theme and Morrie continues to teach young Mitch about life, death, family, etc.  It’s not as depressing as it sounds and NO I’m not overreacting because of my recent blood lab mix up.  This is a beautiful book about stripping away some superficial layers and being in the moment.  Finding out what is important to you and embracing all of it.
We are in the middle (hopefully tail end – no pun intended) of potty training Connor.  He’s got it pretty well down that he has to go potty and will announce and run to the bathroom.  However he still has issues with opportunity cost.  By that I mean he’ll ask himself the question “Is a dry diaper/pull-up worth stopping what I’m doing right now?  I’m having fun playing trains and I’d hate to lose my momentum.”  So there’s that.  In any case, last week he comes running up to me and says, “Daddy, daddy!!!! I have to wash my hands RIGHT now!”  I look and he has something kind of greenish brown on his fingers, surely it can’t be…as I lean down and take a quick sniff.  Yep! Poop!  As I lift him to the sink and start lathering up his little hand, I ask him what happened.  He said he has to go poo.  Turns out he has a little more giving to do. Those of you who REALLY know me, know I’m a process guy.  And I’m wondering what the steps and thoughts were that went from playing, to pooping to reaching to running to daddy for the clean hands.  I’m also wondering if there is some yet undiscovered trail or mound of poop somewhere on a rug that costs more that everything else in the room.  Luckily it was contained in his diaper, but I still wonder how it went down.
Asking a three year old to tell you how something went down is also a funny experience.  There is excitement and they are obsessed with pretend play.  It reminded me of a time before we had kids.  We had a party and some of our friends brought their kids.  Being without children, we hadn’t given a single thought to childproofing our home.  So Nita left some earrings that were well within a child’s range.  As you have probably guessed by now, one of them came up missing.  I asked my friends if they could ask their daughter if she took it or if she left it somewhere.  They said they’d try but getting a whole and accurate account of an event from a three year old isn’t as easy as it sounds.  I thought they were just protecting the innocence of their child, but I get it now.  If there is any fear that the child might get in trouble or the ability to tell a better story, the story will change.  I mean even if you watch it go down. It’s actually pretty funny.  And don’t worry, the earrings were insured and Nita got a new pair.
Josie has become quite the little pickle as well.  She has discovered how to get even more attention by being more annoying to Connor.  She’ll go up and give him a big hug while he’s playing.  I think she’s baiting him to push her away so we’ll pick her up and hold her when she “cries.”  She also will compete for reading time.  If Connor brings one of us a book and says “Daddy will you read this book,” Josie is sure to be right behind him with a different book. And she gets mad if you don’t start reading it.  I have found that you can kind of fool her by continuing to read the original book to Connor and turn the pages to Josie’s book and point occasionally.  I know this will not last long.
Negotiating with a three year old is also a pretty fun event.  They will promise things they have no intention of delivering in order to get one more marshmallow or jump in the puddle.  Jumping in the puddle is an art Connor has mastered.  The irony of a good puddle jump is once you’ve jumped in it once; you may as well roll around in it. The whole point of avoiding the puddle is so your shoes, socks, and jeans don’t get wet.  Once they are wet, there is no dryness to protect any longer.   Connor has mastered the “Please daddy, can I just step in the puddle, just one time, one time only?”  I think he thinks I’m surprised that he can get soaked up to his knees with one well timed jump.  This is especially true at the playground behind my mother’s house.
When Connor was born we moved mom out to our neighborhood and her home backed up to the playground of Spicewood elementary.  So when it was time to replace her fence, we built in a gate.  So when we go visit (just a golf cart ride away), we can open up the gate and just go play in the park.  Connor has experienced quite a bit at that playground: He has learned how to play cricket with the guys who practice there, he’s seen basketball try-outs.  He’s run the track and climbed up all seven sets of playground equipment.  He’s pulled a wagon, pushed a stroller, and pulled a wheeled basket all of which either had rocks, Josie, or mom’s dog.  He’s chased birds, squirrels and pet dogs.  But his favorite thing after a good rain, is to go puddle hopping.  Remember the mudder episode right?  If there is mud, Connor will find it.  And Josie loves watching brother splash around in it too.  She even gets into it a little.  But this is what I was thinking about when reading Tuesday’s with Morrie.  The question was asked about family, and whether or not it was worth having children.  Morrie answered “There is no experience like having children.  That’s all.  There is no substitute for it.  You cannot do it with a friend; you cannot do it with a lover.  If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children.”
So coincidentally over the last few months, we’ve been going over to my mother’s house every Wednesday.  The kids call her “abuelita” which means “little grandmother.”  She makes us dinner while we go play in the park out back.  Then we come in and eat a meal and visit and then take the kids home and get them ready for bed.  It’s become a nice little routine and the book made me think about how mom must be feeling about getting immersed in family every week.  I hope someday Connor and Josie will want to come visit Nita and I every week so I can watch their kids grow up.  But until then, “Hey Connor, look, a puddle. Go ahead boy, just don’t splash your sister.

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