Okay so it wasn’t exactly Murphy’s law to the letter, but anyway, here goes. For a while now we’ve been working on being polite. Connor and Josie regularly say “please” and “thank you” and they are generally sweet. When we ask one to apologize to the other, they do and the other usually says “that’s okay, I forgive you” and there is a hug. They call their elders Mr. and Mrs. (or at least “Aunt” and “Uncle”) and of course “yes sir” and “no sir.” Lately we’ve been working on a new project. Since we now have two chatter boxes we’re working on the proper way to interrupt a conversation. And as much as I love a good loud talking debate, elevating your voice and talking over everyone isn’t really what we’re going for here. So we’ve been trying to work on raising our hand and saying, “excuse me, I have something to say.”
Now the funny/ironic part about this (and those of you who REALLY know me) know I have a bad habit of interrupting people, finishing a thought that I don’t think is getting to the end quick enough and sometimes just plain old talking over people. I didn’t say it was a good habit, but you know, full disclosure to head off the Luke 6:42 crowd. J So the hardest part has been attempting to model the behavior we expect from the kids ourselves. Nita and I are doing much better for sure, but it isn’t always easy to let someone finish their thought (especially if you are kind of through listening anyway – again, full disclosure). I digress.
So we’ve really been working on how to politely interrupt, wait for the acknowledgement that it is your turn, and then what to do with the floor when you get it. This weekend we took a little ride up to the Cedar Rock rail road in Williamson County Regional Park. As you are aware, Connor and Josie both love trains and this was a fun little treat. As we were riding up there and Nita and I were arguing with the navigation system on the proper way to get there, Connor kept asking us to tell him Godzilla stories while Josie sang songs. This was a great time to review our strategy on “Mommy and daddy are talking right now, but Connor you are next.” Then finally, we got things sorted out and we said, “Okay Connor, go ahead.” “Uhm, uhm, I love you.” “We love you too pumpkin, but what do you want to say.” “Uhm, (repeat for about 30 seconds) can you tell me a story about Godzilla and Mothra?” Meanwhile Josie is saying, ”My turn, my turn” and we know with her experiences and vocabulary it’s more than likely announcing flatulence.
I guess next we’ll work on what to do with the talking stick when you get it, or if the point is just to hold the talking stick (no we aren’t actually using a stick). Our method for helping the kids with the courtesies is positive re-enforcement. So we usually reward them for the behavior we want to encourage as a method of getting more of that behavior; enter Mr. Murphy. So we get to the train station and ride the train a couple of times. Connor and Josie both love the ride and the sounds, all the butterflies, etc. At the end of the ride the conductor says, “Okay folks thanks for the ride” and he blew the whistle. Since Connor in his short life has already sat inside the Lakeline mall train and worked the steering wheel, blown the horn, and rang the bell, I incorrectly assumed that pulling the chain for the whistle might be a possibility. So I said, “Why don’t you go thank the conductor for the ride and ask if you can blow the whistle?” Connor excitedly walked around and patiently waited while Conductor Tim sold tickets to the next ride. Then when he was next in line he said, “Thank you for the ride Conductor Tim, may I blow the whistle please?”
Conductor Tim said, “Sorry son, we can’t let anyone touch the engine, company policy. You don’t want to end up like this.” At this point he showed one hand which was missing about 40% of the fingers Connor had. Two things happened at this point: Connor got upset that his polite inquiry didn’t work, and I found a grotesquely funny way to explain it. As we loaded the kids into the car seat Connor was beside himself that he was not allowed to touch the train. I’m not saying we spoil him (we do), but usually if he’s being really good or polite let’s just say the rewards flow in pretty good. But when he doesn’t get his way, he doesn’t throw a tantrum, but it’s as if his feelings are hurt. Like, “How can this be? I’ve been good, I was nice to Josie, I was obeying, (channel Nancy Kerrigan) WHY!!” So we had to take a few deep breaths and then he finally composed himself and said, “But mommy, I said ‘please’ (the word lasted about three seconds)!” Here is where my sense of humor and problem solving kicked in. I said, “Well honey, I bet what happened is one day he let a little boy touch the train after the owner told him not to and the owner came and cut off his fingers.”
Connors eyes got big. Nita’s mouth dropped. “Dude!” she said, “What are you doing?” I laughed. “So you see Connor, I bet he wanted to let you do it, but he has to follow the rules now since he only has three fingers left. When we break the rules, sometimes really bad things happen.” At this point Nita is saying, “We might have been able to spin this another way, don’t you think honey?” while chuckling. Then on the way home I found four other opportunities to mention instances where not following the rules might warrant cutting off fingers, not even counting the obvious betrayal of the Yakuza code.” But we really did turn it into something funny and light (not that I’m totally insensitive). Anyway, on the way back home it was lunchtime and we were talking about what to have for lunch. As we were doing the mental scan of our fridge I mentioned we could get a quick drive through burger. Since we’re from Texas, Whataburger was on the top of our list. So we pull in to the drive through and order our food.
I’m not exactly sure what the protocol is here, but should you tip the girl at the window when your son says, “Who is that fat old lady?” Is there any amount that guarantees an un-dropped meat patty? Or is our nervous smile enough? When the woman walked in the back to get our food, I looked at Connor and said, “Sweetie, you can’t say that. She’s going to cut off daddy’s fingers. And then how will we play baseball?”
Speaking of baseball; Josie is getting very vocal as I mentioned before. Since the Rangers are so much fun to watch right now and between ESPN, FoxSports Southwest and KBVO you can pretty much watch every single game…which I kind of have, much to Nita’s chagrin. However, a couple of days ago, Josie came waddling in before bedtime in her little Pajamas and said, “Daddy watching baseball. Josie watch with daddy.” Although it was more like “daddy watch baybah.” Then she climbed up on Mancave couch and snuggled up. Oh, my future looks bright if I have two kiddos who love to watch some baseball with daddy. And I’m not even counting all the saved trips to the beer fridge. And I know I’m a little long here, but speaking of more baseball, Josie has discovered the joy (about five months earlier than Connor did) of bat races.
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