Thanks for the memories

You know I’ve often mentioned Connor’s (and now Josephine’s) affinity for mud and puddles.  In fact I have a whole bunch of pictures to prove that the mudding thing wasn’t a one-time incident.  Connor got some new mud boots and immediately put them to use while Josie got Connor’s froggy boot hand me downs and had just as much fun.

Another funny thing happened this weekend.  One of my old college roommates flew down from Minnesota for the South by Southwest music festival.  He’s in advertising and one of his clients was sponsoring a showcase.  In any case, the showcase was definitely for a younger demographic and as we people watched and hit the open bar like ants at a picnic, some funny memories came flooding back. 

My buddy and I have talked frequently enough, kept in touch, called each other on birthday’s etc. but we hadn’t seen each other since my wedding almost 8 years ago.  And while in College let’s just say we threw some pretty nifty parties.  And I remember one specific time (settle down Dan, that’s not where I’m going) it rained, rained, rained on campus.  Baseball was cancelled so we started to go out and play a little football in the mud.  About 10 of us played for about five minutes and then decided to just go running around and doing pop-up slides, head first slides, and plain old belly flops.  As we got filthier and filthier, a photographer from the TLC yearbook staff and our newspaper started to follow us around.  I think we even made the Seguin Gazette (the city paper).  I no longer have those pictures, due to a long story, but unfortunately all my signed yearbooks, a lot of my old pictures and some sentimental stuff are just gone.  Hell hath no fury, but I digress.  And of course it wasn’t Nita. Hmm, I guess it wasn’t that long a story after all.

So when Dan flew in he came straight over and we started looking through the pictures I still have.  Most of them were party shots with ever-growing boxes of dip cans, and lots of smiles.  We identified the usual suspects, and went down the tangents of what happened at each of those parties, the after parties, trips to Whataburger for taquitos at midnight (or so) etc.  We laughed and carried on like we hadn’t been separated by 5 states and 1200 miles for the last 8 years.  We talked baseball, family, and about the event where he warned me we’d be the oldest people by perhaps 20 years (he was close). 

While I was looking around the show, there were lots of tween kids and even some just plain old children with older siblings and young moms.  What will I say in 8 years if Connor or God forbid Josie asks me to take them to SXSW for a grunge death metal/angst rock/ (or whatever the piss-off-your-parents music is of the day) show?  And how would I react if one of the older kids on our block offered to “look after them?”  Jeesh.  I’m not so sure I’d be cool with it. 

My first concert was Iron Maiden, Saxon, and Fastway with my cousin Peter.  I was in Corpus and he got us tickets and promised my parents he’d take care of me.  This was 1983, I was either 13 or 14.  Anyway, nothing bad happened, I had a great time and never felt I was in danger.  Actually I think I embarrassed a poor kid who was working as a bouncer.  He was wearing an Iron Maiden shirt and I said, “How old are you?” He replied, “24.”  I said, “Cool, I went to an Iron Maiden Concert in 1983…about five years before you were born.”

I had a town car pick us up because it saves on parking, and is way cheaper than a DWI, and we told stories all the way home.  Once we got back, we popped on March Madness and my lovely wife had ordered take out Chuy’s Tex Mex (which Dan had also missed).  And when my sweet little Connor came in around 8 to sit with daddy before bed time I was almost completely asleep on the couch.

Really?  Am I an old man now? Did I grow up when no one was looking? I guess where I’m going with this all is that Dan brought back so many memories.  I had completely forgotten about that day in the rain in College even after watching both of my kids tromp through puddles and make mud pies.  And I have no idea how I’m going to handle the kid’s questions when they ask about music concerts much less festivals, or even if I’ll have the stamina to take them. Although technically, had I not had a dozen Maker’s I probably wouldn’t have fallen asleep on the couch.  By the way, when a college buddy comes to town, it doesn’t mean you have to drink like you were back in college, just a tip.  But why rob them of the same memories right?  I think.  I’m not sure I would have fared well in the: everything is on Youtube generation, but I mostly turned out okay.  This really is quite the dilemma. 

The best part is I guess I hope my kids make the kinds of friends that I have.  Dan said it best and I quote, “That's the one thing about having true friends... no matter the time or distance in between visits, you're always able to pick right up where you left off.  And I don't mean the drinking part of the equation. :)  Instead, I mean the laughter, happiness, comfort and all the other ‘stuff.’”  So I guess my goal is to raise kids who won’t get arrested (or at least convicted), will make good decisions, have fun, learn, grow, and make deep, long-lasting friendships. The kind of friendships that weather all distance and time.  Until then, enjoy the mud kiddos.

Is it still called sacrifice if you love it?

My dad died 16 years ago this March 11, and I wrote a little letter/tribute to him and posted a few pictures.  In my letter I spoke about the thousands of hours he spent taking me here and there and watching me play just about every sport from baseball to wrestling.  I wrote about the sacrifice it must have been and was.  But now I’m not so sure.

A colleague asked me about my weekend and I told him it was far too wet for golf so I spent the entire weekend with the family.  We also took the opportunity to go to the park behind my mom’s house where the water had accumulated into small ponds, just perfect for jumping in.  Remember Connor is a mudder and Josie is his shadow.  So I was explaining to my colleague how much fun it was just watching Connor and Josie get absolutely filthy and wet.  I also said, “In this world of 30 second news cycles, instant messaging, and short attention span marketing it sure is nice to see basic joys being displayed.  Simple pleasures like jumping in a rain puddle.  And it sure is neat to relive some of those joys through the eyes of your children.”

Ton of bricks alert!  Yep, as I was giving him the explanation about how much fun it was playing with Connor and Josephine for two straight days in the rain and mud, it hit me.  How much fun was my father having watching me play?  Of course there is an element of sacrifice and I don’t want to take it away just because he might have been having fun too, but think about it.  As you can see in the pictures, Connor is having the time of his life, and there is no TV, no cartoons, no props, nothing.  Okay, he is pulling a wagon, but for the most part it is just a kid in the rain.    And when Josie tried to wade in as deep as Connor, of course she fell, got wet, cold and cried a little.  But then she laughed it off and was back in the stomping business.  It’s made me think more about how structured his play is at times. 

We let him dictate what he’s going to play with quite a bit, but I’m certainly guilty of steering him in certain directions that may have been more convenient for me.  I think I’m going to try to be less invasive and more observant for a while.  Of course, he still can’t do anything that is going to potentially kill Josie.  For example, I had to throw away a hose he was using as a whip after watching puss in boots.  Yes he decided that he was puss and Josie was a horse.  No children were injured in the writing of this blog, but disaster was definitely within a few inches.  So it’s not “anything goes” but we’ll see how this plays out.  He’s a smart boy and Josie is hitting a fun growth spurt.

In fact, Josie knows about 40 words right now that she can independently say without prompting.  By that I mean she can repeat and mimic a lot more words, but those 40 she initiates.  So for those veteran parents out there, remember when your toddler was starting to use words to direct their environment?  For example, Sunday afternoon we were out in the back yard.  Josie was in her swing.  She said, “Connor, blue” and pointed at the blue swing.  I asked if she wanted to get in the blue swing (we have yellow and blue).  She said, “No, push (while tapping the front of her yellow swing).  “Connor blue!”  I asked if she wanted Connor in the blue swing (meanwhile he has a shovel and is building an even muddier pit than three days of rain could create).  She said, “Yes, Connor blue.”

Connor didn’t want to stop playing his mud game, but it was cute to see Josie directing traffic using the words she has.  So while Nita was making dinner last night I was out on the playground with the kids again.  They were working off the sugar rush from the train cake Nita made for snack and I was just watching my little kids be kids.  So I ask was it a sacrifice when I was having so much fun playing with them?  I’m not so sure.  Now before all you folks with tweens pile on with “wait til you have to drive all over blah blah for blah blah practice,” I know.  There are definite sacrifices at all stages.  But y’all don’t forget to have fun too during those moments, those magical moments that never come back.  It’s allowed.

Two of a kind

I’m glad I started the website when Connor was born.  As I went to review where Connor was at 16 months to see where Josephine was developmentally (because all good parents compare right?), I noticed a few things.  First a lot of these observations were made due to a new purchase.  My wife and I have been using a little Sony point and click and we always have it nearby.  We’ve captured Connor’s first movements, sounds, rolling over, Josie’s first steps, stand, etc.  But now that they are both mobile, and very mobile at that, a lot of the pictures are blurry. 

So I just got Nita a pretty nice DSLR with 18 Megapixel and an “image stabilization” lens.  I watched a few videos on line about how to best use it, and read through the instruction manual and started playing with it.  The pictures (which you’ll see shortly) are phenomenal. Not my artistic picture taking, but the clarity, focus, etc.  I can’t wait to really play with this.  The videos are also great and now that Josie is talking, we’re really excited about continuing our photo record of the kids.

As I was playing with the camera I noticed something that I didn’t really realize before.  My kids have different interests. Connor has the attention span of a gnat in heat.  He likes to read books, play with trains, blocks, legos, gears, puzzles, sing songs, and watch shows.  The problem is, and it isn’t a problem per se, that he moves from one thing to another so quickly that picking up his station never even enters his mind.  So he leaves a little trail of destruction.  It’s kind of ironic, because the builder while Josie is more of the destroyer.  Josie loves to come to Connor’s current station and start pulling apart the legos, train tracks, etc.  When she does this Connor usually calls her “Godzilla.”

But here is the funny thing, she will pick up the toys and put it in the correct box without being asked.  She’s also just as likely to dump out the box, so she’s not exactly an OCD cleaning prodigy. But the other funny difference is how they read. Like Connor she loves books.  But she wants to read the same book over and over and over.  Connor will bring you three books at a time and might cut you off mid book to start a new one.  And when we go outside to play, Connor is all over the place.  He’s on his back hoe, building tunnels for bugs (which is awesome because I used to do that and he came up with this on his own), playing on the playscape, digging, etc.  Josie wants to get on the swing.  That’s it.  She’ll run around after Connor, likes the slide and being in the fort when Connor is in it, but if you put her in the swing, she’ll make you push her for about 20 minutes.  Connor will have done 15 different things in those 20 minutes and asked you to tell him at least 10 different stories. Meanwhile Josie is pointing to the front of the swing and saying “push” while doing the sign language sign for “more.”

Josie is also getting vocal and noticing our routines.  She’s making relationships like in order to go outside, you must wear shoes (Connor by the way would go out shoeless and nekkid if you let him, and technically he’s done it…on more than one occasion).  She can say outside, socks and shoes. So when she’s ready to go outside, you’ll know it pretty quickly, she’ll bring you a shoe and say, “outside.”  You ask her to go get some socks and she runs off to the sock basket.  For meal times (and Nita thinks I’m going to give her a complex) she can’t wait to get rolling.  She knows or at least understands that we pray before meals.  So she slaps her hands together says “God is gate amen” and there better be something on her tray PDQ.  Speaking of food, Connor loves to help in the kitchen.  Green eggs and ham last week, and he helped make pancakes this weekend.  Josie likes to be held to watch, she doesn’t need to participate quite yet.

She’s a bit ahead of Connor on the vocal part and is really excited about communicating.  She is just absorbing everything.  The other day while watching Baby Noah (from the Einstein series) Connor, boy genius that he is, doesn’t just say “tiger” he says “Bengal tiger.”  Not because that’s what they call it on the show, but because he saw it in a book we read him. Needless to say, Connor’s animal vocabulary is quite vast.  It’s actually very impressive.  Well on the baby Noah show, they roll out five or six animals per region and then do a summary.  Connor calls them out before they even show the whole animal, but this time, Josie was calling out animals too.  Hippo, Lion, jaff (giraffe), whale, etc.  It’s really fun watching her learn and grow.

So the thing that is making me wonder is whether they will try to be more alike, or completely different.  I kind of hoped they’d be into some of the same things and they could do stuff together.  I know they’ll need independence and whatnot and don’t want two clones of different genders, but I’m just curious how it’ll all shake out.

Oh, and as a humorous aside, one of my old college roommates is coming to town for south by southwest.  He’s a big shot at an advertising agency and wants me to meet him for a showcase one of his clients is sponsoring.  So I asked him about the bands and when I went to youtube to watch a couple of videos, holy crap.  When did I get old?  I know my 20 year reunion should have been a hint, but seriously?  Just the fashion and hairstyles in the videos makes me feel like I don’t belong at the venue.  Of course I’m going because it’ll be open bar for me and my buddy. J  I’m not stupid, just old I guess.  The funniest part is I’m not sure I would have gone to see these bands 20 years ago…in my 501 jeans with the bottom in a tight cuff of course, genera shirt, and 501 jean jacket.  Cool huh?

A little piece and understanding.

A couple of things we’ve been working on came to a head this week.  My mother has been giving Connor candy.  A lot!  I’ve been trying to beg her not to give it to him later in the day, so he doesn’t stay up too late, but she’s got the impression that it is a grandmother’s right to do those types of things.  And honestly, as much as she helps us out, if that is the worst thing she does, well God bless her.  So we will just gently fight that battle.

Connor has an insatiable curiosity, I suppose like any other 3 year old, but it just seems obscene how curious he is.  He is also mechanically inclined and wants to hold everything and see how it works.  I love this inquisitive nature, and the fact that his manual dexterity is really strong, but the downside is he reaches for things he shouldn’t be holding.  Now I know it is our responsibility to child proof the house and make sure he can’t get into too much danger…but I can’t child proof the world.  When you go to a store or someone else’s home, you can’t expect them to have every potentially dangerous item above four feet.  And yes, Connor is 40 inches tall with a nice little wing span.

In any case, you can usually hear more than once a day, “Don’t reach up, do you need your hand slapped?”  To which he replies (after quickly pulling his hand back), “I wasn’t reaching. Can I please have (insert whatever he was reaching for)?  Please don’t slap my hand.” For those of you with CPS on speed dial don’t worry. We rarely slap his hand. It’s more of a reminder to illustrate that we’re serious.  Anyway, we also want to make sure that he doesn’t pull down anything that is a danger to him or worse accidentally pull something on top of his little human shadow Josie.

Oh by the way, Josie is a little chatter box now. I’ll post a video to the multiply site if you are interested soon, but she is really turning it up.  I made a list (like all ADHD way too proud daddies do) of all the words Connor could say, words he could understand and commands he could understand at age 19 months.  Well little Miss Josephine is quite ahead of that schedule at 15 months.  At dinner a couple of days ago, she said, “Connor” and then babbled something else.  I asked, “Where is Connor.”  She looked at me like I had three heads, pointed at Connor and said, “Right there dada.”  Good stuff.  And she can catch. 

Back to the story.  So Nita took Connor to his first dental cleaning on Tuesday.  He impressed the office with his knowledge of the x-ray machine and the hygienist let him play with the water and suction tools.  He had a pretty good visit.  Our awesome dentist (more on this later) came in looked at some things and suggested that we give him cookies or chocolates instead of dum dums.  So no more suckers which Connor LOVES now (thanks mom).  Anyway, it was a good checkup and as they were checking out CRASH!!!  Yep, Connor just had to see what was happening on the top of the fish tank.  It used to have a glass top.  Luckily no one was hurt or cut.  Connor and Nita were both quite embarrassed.  We asked them to send us the bill of course and our AWESOME dentist said, “You know you’ve been great customers for a long time. Don’t worry about it.”

Obviously, we’re going to still either pitch in or send the office lunch or flowers.  But talk about a "don’t reach up" moment.  Jeesh.  In any case, everyone is okay and if any of you in the Austin area are looking for a great dentist, good man, and so-so golfer, Darren Evans is your man.  Thanks Doc.  And now you all know I didn’t misspell Peace in the title. J  The pictures are from Connor and Josie’s Green Eggs and Ham breakfast with our new nanny Jewell.

Three to get ready

I created a website the day Connor was born. The goal was to show family and friends some pictures and videos as Connor grew up and they could come and go as they pleased instead of me clogging their inbox or doing the 1960s vacation slide treatment every time they came over.  It has morphed into a secondary backup and recovery site.  The fun thing is those moments are suspended in time.  As I watch Connor grow every day, the changes seem subtle and I guess it’s a little like the old story about “how does one boil a frog.”  In any case, Josie started walking a couple of months ago and started talking more than just two or three words and gibberish a couple of weeks ago.  I mean she is really chattering.

I thought more about the website because three of my co-workers are having children in the next few months.  For all of them it is their first child.  Although Josie is 15 months now, and I can hardly remember when she was just a teeny tiny baby, I do remember the stress of the first one.  I also remember all the advice, most of which was some form of “Don’t blink, they’ll be (insert something clever) soon.”

So I went to the old trusty website to watch Connor at that same age.  And I was shocked.  What a sweet little boy and you look at him now and he has changed so much.  His little gibberish has developed into thoughtful paragraphs and adventure stories that he can make up to entertain both him and us.  He is helping Josie with words when prompted.  Josie is also very adept in asking for things she wants.  She no longer points and says that…okay, she still does, but she tries to learn the actual word now as well.  For example, Valentine’s day brought us several children’s card sets which included stickers.  Our kids love stickers and Connor was peeling some off and putting them on me and Nita.  Josie said something just south of sticker but was pointing to the back of her hand.  Pretty cute. 

So I went to the website again and watched a few more videos and discovered that this is the time for pretty monumental gains.  I’m thinking we’re due for another trip to the children’s museum or the zoo.  Even though the Austin zoo is pretty weak, they do have Lions, Tigers, and well you know.  Now that Josie can make more animal sounds, and can sound out a few of them, it might be another nice treat to take them both out there.  Plus Connor just loves seeing all the big animals anyway. And he is absolutely tickled to death (thanks Madagascar), that “monkeys throw poo.”

We were always told that the second and subsequent children develop a lot faster than the first one.  Partly because of the over protection of the new parents, but secondly because they have role models that are closer to their own stages of development.  For example, Josie loves to jump on the couch like Connor and is less impressed with daddy’s knowledge of cloud computing.  Therefore, what Connor is doing is much more interesting than what daddy is doing, unless of course daddy and mommy are starting a dance-a-thon in the living room. And by everything, I mean everything.  If Connor wants to warm his hands by the fire, guess what?  If Connor finds an interesting place to stand, he’s got a shadow.  And when he’s not looking, she’s got his shoes on.

So if the phases are lining up correctly, Josie is just about ready for her first pork rib from Rudy’s.  She’s got enough teeth, and she isn’t afraid of anything we put on her tray, so I guess this weekend might just be a BBQ weekend.  As for the new mommies and daddies, well, enjoy every moment.  Capture as many of those moments as you can, and embrace each new phase.  And sleep when they sleep, and don’t leave sharp things on countertops, and…good luck.

Because Hallmark says so!

Valentine’s day.  A day for love.  300% markups on flowers and candy.  A day for UPS and FEDEX to actually do Sunday Delivery (extra if you want it in a four hour time block).  A day to eat dinner at a restaurant serving a flight menu where you can actually pick the meat or the chicken and everyone gets the same dessert (and you will be out in 1.5 hours). A day where the wine list is 20% more expensive than the day before and after. A day when limos are as plentiful as prom. A day where restaurant coupons don’t work. A day when you BETTER show up with a card, candy and flowers. A day of comparisons:  What did you get? Oh look Mary got a bouquet at her home and her desk.

As you can see I think and have always believed that Valentine’s day is a bunch of crap. Ironically, I'm also a hopeless romantic.  I think these are mutually exclusive.  In my youth I was a willing participant in this day, but come on what do you expect? 

As many of you know, I bring Nita flowers all the time, not because I’m supposed to and certainly not because someone else says so.  Now I’m not a complete tool, I’ve sent Nita flowers on Valentine’s day. And we’ve gone to nice restaurants as well which, by the way, we do all the time anyway.  I usually complain the whole time (not all the time, just on Valentine’s).  However, 9 years ago we started a little tradition.  I created a scavenger hunt in our home.  I would hand make about 20 cards, put clues on them, and little notes in each one and then hid them around the house.  Some of the notes are quotes, some are lists of things we’ve done, places we’ve traveled to, milestones, etc.  Some contain song lyrics, and some are dancing stations.  It’s been nice.  We would then cook a really nice dinner at home and open a nice wine, unless pregnant or nursing.

Then the kids came.  So we didn’t have the same amount of free time and had to keep a close eye on naps, nannies, and feeding times. This is where I relaxed my rebellion against hallmark and sent flowers a couple of times, but the hunt lived on.  This year however, I thought Connor was old enough to help.  So I got Scooby doo and dolphin cards, made the map, attached the clues, printed out the love notes, song list, dancing stations, and milestone list.  I went home a little early and hunt, or at least the hiding, was ready to go.  My vision was that this would be a more family fun scavenger hunt and the song stations would include songs that Connor can sing and the dances would put Josie in my arms and Connor in Nita’s.  The best laid plans.  A few hours prior to the hunt…Connor spiked a 104 temperature and started crying.  Poor thing, it was full stop on fun.  Instead it was bath and ibuprofen. We then changed into damage control mode, soup acquisition, and low excitement.  Nita was mad.  I think a key component was Nita went out and took both the grandmothers flowers with Connor in the morning.  AND, she went and got me a couple of gifts, things that I actually wanted.

Now I know a lot of you are sitting in judgment thinking that I should have also brought flowers, or a store-bought card.  To you I say, WAKE UP SHEEPLE!  That is the trap!  My argument was: “I bring flowers all the time.  Why is some husband who brings Valentine flowers and is a dick the other 364 days of the year a better husband? If that is the criteria, I can save a lot of money and a ton of time and set up a recurring order on a flowers website.  I can spend 15 seconds and meet that ‘model’ husband status forever or until my card needs to be updated.”

Sometimes when we lash out it evolves into something completely different from the initial point of the argument. And once we really start communicating it all comes out. That’s what happened, our little tiff turned into some tears, but once we drilled down and got through the facts everything was all good.  So communication is really the great problem solver.  Bad news doesn’t get better with age, so if something is up, get it out.  Don’t let it morph into something more.  And humorously enough, have you ever been watching a sit com and some TV couple is having an argument?  Invariably one of them will make a leap that makes you shake your head and say…where did THAT come from?  On TV it’s funny.  Here it reminded me of the fact that we’ve been spending so much energy on the kids that we need to keep working on the “us.”  I think we’re about ready for an adult overnight, just the two of us.  Last one was about 17 months ago.

Connor was feeling quite a lot better the day after. So last night we did the family scavenger hunt.  And it was FUN.  Connor was helping mommy decipher the clues and guess where the next card could be found.  He loved the Scooby doo cards and so did Josie.  Josie giggled and drooled as she chased everyone around the house to help find the next card.  I even made the clues a little easier and placed the cards around Connor’s eye level or lower.  So I think we had a great family fun night.  We had a date night last weekend and I think another coming up this weekend. So what do you think?  Did I beat Hallmark?  Or am I making too much of this? Damn you Hallmark!

Wednesdays with Abuelita.

Okay so before anyone jumps the gun here, mom is fine.  There is nothing wrong with her and in fact she’s even losing weight and feeling better.  So with that out of the way, I’ll begin.

This is the week of our huge sales training for my company.  We go and take over a hotel and essentially schedule about 18 hours of each day filled with all the new things we’re doing, building and selling.  As I was flying out I grabbed a book that has been sitting in my study for quite some time.  Usually I’ll read a Vince Flynn book and enjoy secret agent Mitch Rapp as he dispatches all enemies against the State.  But alas, I’ve read them all now. So I grabbed the book Tuesday’s with Morrie.  If any of you haven’t read it before or don’t know the premise, it is about a writer who hears that his favorite college professor is dying of ALS.  So he decides to visit him and he records their visits each Tuesday while he is fading.  Each day has a different theme and Morrie continues to teach young Mitch about life, death, family, etc.  It’s not as depressing as it sounds and NO I’m not overreacting because of my recent blood lab mix up.  This is a beautiful book about stripping away some superficial layers and being in the moment.  Finding out what is important to you and embracing all of it.

We are in the middle (hopefully tail end – no pun intended) of potty training Connor.  He’s got it pretty well down that he has to go potty and will announce and run to the bathroom.  However he still has issues with opportunity cost.  By that I mean he’ll ask himself the question “Is a dry diaper/pull-up worth stopping what I’m doing right now?  I’m having fun playing trains and I’d hate to lose my momentum.”  So there’s that.  In any case, last week he comes running up to me and says, “Daddy, daddy!!!! I have to wash my hands RIGHT now!”  I look and he has something kind of greenish brown on his fingers, surely it can’t be…as I lean down and take a quick sniff.  Yep! Poop!  As I lift him to the sink and start lathering up his little hand, I ask him what happened.  He said he has to go poo.  Turns out he has a little more giving to do. Those of you who REALLY know me, know I’m a process guy.  And I’m wondering what the steps and thoughts were that went from playing, to pooping to reaching to running to daddy for the clean hands.  I’m also wondering if there is some yet undiscovered trail or mound of poop somewhere on a rug that costs more that everything else in the room.  Luckily it was contained in his diaper, but I still wonder how it went down.

Asking a three year old to tell you how something went down is also a funny experience.  There is excitement and they are obsessed with pretend play.  It reminded me of a time before we had kids.  We had a party and some of our friends brought their kids.  Being without children, we hadn’t given a single thought to childproofing our home.  So Nita left some earrings that were well within a child’s range.  As you have probably guessed by now, one of them came up missing.  I asked my friends if they could ask their daughter if she took it or if she left it somewhere.  They said they’d try but getting a whole and accurate account of an event from a three year old isn’t as easy as it sounds.  I thought they were just protecting the innocence of their child, but I get it now.  If there is any fear that the child might get in trouble or the ability to tell a better story, the story will change.  I mean even if you watch it go down. It’s actually pretty funny.  And don’t worry, the earrings were insured and Nita got a new pair.

Josie has become quite the little pickle as well.  She has discovered how to get even more attention by being more annoying to Connor.  She’ll go up and give him a big hug while he’s playing.  I think she’s baiting him to push her away so we’ll pick her up and hold her when she “cries.”  She also will compete for reading time.  If Connor brings one of us a book and says “Daddy will you read this book,” Josie is sure to be right behind him with a different book. And she gets mad if you don’t start reading it.  I have found that you can kind of fool her by continuing to read the original book to Connor and turn the pages to Josie’s book and point occasionally.  I know this will not last long.

Negotiating with a three year old is also a pretty fun event.  They will promise things they have no intention of delivering in order to get one more marshmallow or jump in the puddle.  Jumping in the puddle is an art Connor has mastered.  The irony of a good puddle jump is once you’ve jumped in it once; you may as well roll around in it. The whole point of avoiding the puddle is so your shoes, socks, and jeans don’t get wet.  Once they are wet, there is no dryness to protect any longer.   Connor has mastered the “Please daddy, can I just step in the puddle, just one time, one time only?”  I think he thinks I’m surprised that he can get soaked up to his knees with one well timed jump.  This is especially true at the playground behind my mother’s house.

When Connor was born we moved mom out to our neighborhood and her home backed up to the playground of Spicewood elementary.  So when it was time to replace her fence, we built in a gate.  So when we go visit (just a golf cart ride away), we can open up the gate and just go play in the park.  Connor has experienced quite a bit at that playground: He has learned how to play cricket with the guys who practice there, he’s seen basketball try-outs.  He’s run the track and climbed up all seven sets of playground equipment.  He’s pulled a wagon, pushed a stroller, and pulled a wheeled basket all of which either had rocks, Josie, or mom’s dog.  He’s chased birds, squirrels and pet dogs.  But his favorite thing after a good rain, is to go puddle hopping.  Remember the mudder episode right?  If there is mud, Connor will find it.  And Josie loves watching brother splash around in it too.  She even gets into it a little.  But this is what I was thinking about when reading Tuesday’s with Morrie.  The question was asked about family, and whether or not it was worth having children.  Morrie answered “There is no experience like having children.  That’s all.  There is no substitute for it.  You cannot do it with a friend; you cannot do it with a lover.  If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children.”

So coincidentally over the last few months, we’ve been going over to my mother’s house every Wednesday.  The kids call her “abuelita” which means “little grandmother.”  She makes us dinner while we go play in the park out back.  Then we come in and eat a meal and visit and then take the kids home and get them ready for bed.  It’s become a nice little routine and the book made me think about how mom must be feeling about getting immersed in family every week.  I hope someday Connor and Josie will want to come visit Nita and I every week so I can watch their kids grow up.  But until then, “Hey Connor, look, a puddle. Go ahead boy, just don’t splash your sister.