A very memorable Memorial day

We had a week-long vacation and then a three day weekend on top of that, what an adventure.  Last year we took the grandmothers, a nanny, and the kids to Port A to a friend’s beach house for a week.  We had so much fun we decided to do it again.  However, this year we changed two things, our nanny has since moved on and we went with a former nanny; and instead of two cars we rented an RV.  Most of you who know me know my propensity for going a little over the top on things.  So this can surely not be a surprise.  What really worked out for us this year was we had a base of operations.  The RV was a small 24 foot Winnebago and it was perfect.  Last year we got down to the coast and all our luggage and baby safety gear took up every square inch of space we weren’t occupying.  This year, we had a couch, kitchenette, fridge, and a bathroom on the bus with plenty of storage space.  It was great because even though it was only a four hour trip, everyone could stretch their legs a little, stand up, grab a coke, etc.  For those of you in law enforcement of course the kids were constantly in five point restraint car seats. J

Another great thing about this was the food.  We were able to both take our own food at 1/3 the price of the island groceries, and also bring back what we didn’t finish.  Last year as soon as we got there I had to turn around and go to the store for all the stuff we’d need. Then at the end of the trip we threw everything away.  This year, mom even premade some carne guisada, and all we had to do was warm up the tortillas.  Also, if a child pooped or, got too hot, or if one of the grandmothers overheated, it was time for the whole family to pack up and go.  This year, we’d just mosey over to the air conditioned bus and have a seat, snack, or use the potty.  Amazingly no one got sick of each other this year even on the bus. 

The beach.  Connor and Josephine had some pretty fun experiences this year.  First Nita bet me 100 bucks that Connor would spend more time playing in the sand and even thought the only way he’d go to the water was if we dragged him out there (like we had to do last year).  My theory was that a year’s worth of size and playing in puddles and mud surely would have changed his attitude.  I took and won the bet before I had the tent set up.  Connor got off the bus, took off his shoes and ran straight to the surf.  We had a ton of fun just splashing out in the waves and watching the occasional mullet hop over a wave.  Josie even liked being out there.  Connor loved it so much that when we were leaving the beach on the first day to go back to the beach house he was literally praying to God that we come back to the beach.  “Dear God, please let us come back to the beach. Please.” It was pretty cute.

The next day was the Texas state aquarium.  Another big hit.  Connor is called “the butterfly whisperer” at his little school because he’s always willing to pick up any bug and wants to pet everything.  The first show we saw was the bird show.  There was a nice little hawk that was flying from a perch to her trainer’s arm and at one point Connor stuck out his arm to see if the hawk would land on it.  He was not concerned about the heavy leather glove she was wearing.  After a tour of the grounds and a dolphin show it was time to hit the splash park.  Connor went nuts at this place and so did Josie.  They both just played and laughed and got soaked.  They slept the sleep of the innocent on the way home.  Again, we had the generator running on the RV so we all walked in to a nice comfortable bus for the ride home.  No legs sticking to hot seats.

Another funny thing about the aquarium was at one point Connor and Josie were looking at one tank together and Connor was making up names of fish to explain them to Josie.  Josie would point at another fish and Connor would make up another name.  It was pretty darn cute.

The next two days were the beach again.  The nanny we brought turned out to be a huge mistake, but that is another story.  Let’s just say that she wasn’t on the last day’s beach trip.  So it was Nita and I juggling the kids back and forth, and it was wonderful.  Connor discovered the little bivalve mollusks (little butterfly looking clam things). When the surf is rolling out, they are exposed and they feed for a few seconds and then use a little foot to push themselves over and then bury themselves before the next wave crashes on them.  It was kind of fascinating to watch.  And Connor was really getting into it.  He’d lie down with face right up against the sand and move at just the last second when the wave rolled in.  Of course his little shadow had to do it as well.  She doesn’t have quite the speed of Connor in ducking the waves and got a couple of big splashes she didn’t quite expect.  But she was a trooper and kept on doing it because big brother was doing it.

And of course we fed the seagulls the left over pancakes and biscuits from breakfast.  Connor loved this as much as last year and Josie did too….for about five minutes.  The problem is Josie has this little thing where she likes to carry food in each hand.  She’ll take her time to eat it, but she just likes to have it.  She also likes to eat peanut butter crackers like some folks eat oreos.  She’ll break them open and lick off the peanut butter and then eat the crackers…sometimes.  In any case once seagulls are all stirred up, they won’t leave until ALL the food is gone.  So the clashing of these two tendencies led to the inevitable.  A seagull got brave and dove in for the cracker.  Josie moved to save her cracker and the seagull got a little bit of knuckle and the cracker.  Josie HOWLED and took quite a while to settle down.  I’m not sure if it was the missing skin or the cracker probably a bit of both.  She even said, “bird take cracker away” about 20 times in a row (pretty good for 18 months btw).  Daddy kissed her hand and gave her another cracker.  Poor thing, but it was kind of funny too.  Within a few minutes she was bounding down the beach and lying in the surf with brother.

The last night we all went to dinner and we stopped at a little souvenir shop beforehand.  The big tourist trap item is hermit crabs with painted shells.  The first place we went, they wouldn’t allow us to hold one (we’re about to find out why). The second place had a nice little girl who said she’d be happy to let Connor hold one.  So Connor picked one out and held it.  Remember he wants to hold and pet everything.  So he picks another one to hold.  Meanwhile Nita is asking if we should get one and goes so far as to call a friend back in Austin who actually has one.  As she’s getting the care and feeding lowdown, Connor wants to hold just one more.  This time the crab clamps down on the little girl’s palm, for what felt like 10 minutes to us.  It seriously must have been about 20 seconds and the girl was in tears.  That little hermit crab was not letting go.  The shop owner said, “Go put it under the water, he’ll let go, I’d hate to cut the leg off.”  I never really thought these options were on the table.  Needless to say, that was the end of our hermit crab shopping.

We did one last stop at the beach after dinner and dragged some more sand in the bus.  The company we used to rent was American Adventure RV rentals.  They were wonderful with us and any and every issue I had they gave 24/7 service.  It was my first time in an RV and frankly there were just a few things I’d forgotten in the orientation that they patiently walked me through remotely.  They were very helpful.  The drive back was relatively uneventful since all the traffic was going the other way.

All in all it was a very successful trip.  Being the only male over three years old meant that I loaded and unloaded the bus each time.  I even lost a couple of pounds on the trip.  But it was all worth it and was such a great time. I even had a dream the night we got home about loading the bus.  Seriously, I did.

We got back on the Friday before Memorial day.  So we had plenty of time to unwind and still have some fun.  Of course we had our big golf tournament at the club so I went to play with a buddy on Sunday.  He then suggested we bring the whole family over for some fajitas and pool time.  We did and it was a fantastic day.  And then on Memorial day we took the kids to our club pool where Connor and Josie played for hours.  They got so tired that Josie slept on my shoulder on the ride home (in my golf cart).  Finally, after naps we hoped back in the golf cart and headed over to my mom’s for dinner.  The kids went out back and played in the park again for another hour and a half.  So there was a lot of playing, running around, swimming, and sleeping.  What a fantastic week.  Connor and Josie start swimming lessons on Wed, so the new adventure begins.  They are both quite the little water bugs, man that was an easy 100.

The simple things

As I’ve mentioned before, Nita and I have a little different style of parenting.  Nita is all about exposing the kids to new and exciting stimulus and I’m about safety.  There are times when we clearly and obviously clash.  I’ve been trying to do a better job of letting go, but for those who know me, I kind of like being in control of the situation.  Anyway, Nita has been letting Connor help with cooking and meal preparation.  Additionally a couple of our nannies have introduced fun cooking activities into snack time.  So I finally relented and bought Connor some little chef tools, his own apron and his own chef’s hat.  He has made eggs, pancakes, and has mixed veggies for us.  He absolutely loves helping us in the kitchen and the other day he RAN into the house from outside to help me egg and flour some pork chops.  And there was a mud puddle he could have jumped in.  I asked him what he wanted to be when he grows up and he said a chef.  Mr. Lagasse, you have been served.

This weekend was mother’s day and Nita decided she wanted to take the kids to the Flying Monsters (dinosaurs) IMAX exhibit…in 3D.  Then we’d hop over to central market for dinner.  Nita’s brother and the grandmothers were invited as well.  This was to be Connor and Josephine’s first 3D experience.  Okay, technically the polar express 3D at home was the first but Connor was barely Josie’s age and he destroyed all the glasses.  Anyway, Connor loved it and Josie was more interested in the popcorn and rice crispy treat than the show.  Connor jumped a few times and once when a dinosaur flew by his head and appeared to go behind us he turned around and shouted (loud enough for most of the theater to hear), “Hey you, come back here, this instant!”  There were more than a few chuckles.  He was very good through the whole thing and said he liked it.  Josie just liked walking up and down the stairs.

Then we went to central market where the kids mostly picked at the food but were dying to get to the playscapes.  Connor had his attention diverted by the dogs and a new little duck swimming with his momma.  We brought his unfinished hamburger bun and fed the ducks and a turtle by the edge of the pond.  It took quite a bit of effort keeping Connor out of the pond.  Josie just hooted and quacked, because well, that’s what ducks do.

The day before we played outside on our playscape and for snack time, I brought the kids some pudding snack packs.  Nita and I reminisced about seeing the can in our lunches as kids.  We couldn’t wait to open it (ourselves) and we’d lick the metal lid.  And no one ever cut their tongues.  Of course then we’d hop in the front seat with our parents and drove home unseat-belted.  Anyway, I brought out the pudding and the kids smiles were as big as I remember mine being.  It made me think that one of the best parts of being a parent is sometimes reliving some of your own favorite moments as a child.  I hope I don’t take it for granted.  It’s especially fun and I know it flies by.  A buddy who lost a bet to me was supposed to meet up for a couple of beers yesterday and had to cancel at the absolute last second because one of his kids had an issue.  In fact he said, “Don’t be surprised if you read about a homicide, because, well, you’ll see when yours are teenagers.”

Finally after dinner we just started playing around in the living area.  Josie picked up a xylophone, Connor picked up a toy electric guitar, and Nita just walked over to the piano.  The next thing you know we were having a little sing along. Stay tuned for the new album of Duets, coming to a record store near you.  I guess aside from the IMAX, most of our fun was pretty simple.  Cooking, feeding ducks, pudding cups, and singing around the piano after dinner.  Good Lord we’re the Cleaver family.  Ward did like a little scotch after work didn’t he?

If it has the word “mud,” I’m in

This weekend we were invited to an annual event at a dear old friend’s house.  She has a combination crawfish boil and Kentucky derby party, this year it also coincided with cinco de mayo.  The crawfish are spicy and the mint juleps are plentiful.  You would think that I would have connected the dots here and put a couple bucks on 200-1 horse “I’ll have another” but alas I did not.  This is Connor’s third time at this event and he’s definitely getting the hang of it. 

The process for purging crawfish or mud bugs is to put them in a baby pool with salt water.  This allows them to ahem, let’s just say “devein” themselves.  Connor wasn’t nearly as interested in eating the corn, potato, mushroom, sausage, etc. as he was playing with the mudbugs. In fact he spent about 10 minutes begrudgingly eating a Peanut butter sandwich, one crawfish tail, and one potato and about 2 hours playing with crawfish.  He told stories later about the “little lobsters” which became “huge, GIANT lobsters” only two days later.

He’d race them, fight them, scare them, pick them up, sieve them, you name it.  Many other kids came up and were excited to watch, but didn’t want to touch.  Connor was fearless, and for those of you wondering, yes he got pinched a few times.  But my sweet little boy didn’t care, he’d shake them off his finger, and then pick it up and put it back into the tub.  If they rose up their pinchers to scare him, he’d give them his claw hand and his invisible dragon fire (complete with sound effects).  I heard so many parents and attendees just amazed “at that little red-headed boy over there.”  It was cute.  Connor could have spent all day doing it and was a little upset when it was time to go home.  The crawfish were a little spicy for Josie and she was more comfortable watching brother and didn’t really want to hold the mini-lobsters.  They also found the cookies and cupcakes quite filling.

The next day I almost did something stupid.  I was REALLY close to buying him a few crawfish from the HEB seafood section but then realized we’d soon have another “soupy” scenario (the turtle for new readers).  My better judgment took over at the last second and we went home with what was on the list.

Sunday’s are turning into fun family breakfast days.  There is a little kolache and doughnut shop near Connor’s school.  If you buy enough kolaches you get a free bag of doughnut holes.  Well Connor and Josie love both and it goes like this.  I have to put mustard and ketchup on their plates so they can “dip it” and then eat the kolaches, although sometimes (always) Josie will double and triple dip the mustard.  Once they race through this they start in on the doughnut holes.  The first doughnut hole is usually the best.  Their eyes light up when the glaze hits their tongues.  Then Josie says “more” while giving the sign language sign just in case we were somehow confused.  If you saw the "this old man" video, this was the same morning.

Now that they are all sugared up, I take them either in the back yard to play, or we get in the golf cart and head to the golf course.  We stop at the pond on number 15 to see if there are any fish, turtles, cranes, or ducks and then head to number 16.  It is a par 4 with a couple of hills, and they are usually running the sprinkler around this time.  So Connor and Josie take turns running through it barefoot until they are soaking wet.  We head home and dry off.  After this we head to the grocery store where Connor tries to convince me he needs Jelly beans, a sucker, or another doughnut.

This trip to the store was different.  They were all sugared up from the holes and there was zero chance they were getting more sweets.  We also had a noon appointment so Nita and I decided to divide and conquer.  I took Josie and Connor went with mommy. (Two reds two browns). Anyway, we split the list and we met back in produce.  When I got there, Connor was holding a huge broccoli crown and he was eating it like cotton candy.  I try to give the kids healthy snacks and it isn’t unlike me to grab the boy an apple or a bulk carrot, but this time Connor just reached out and grabbed it…and was going to town.  I can’t even imagine what everyone else thought of us.  So once we regrouped and I put both kids in the same cart, Josie (Connor’s human shadow) HAD to have some broccoli too.  She needed to get a stalk and she started munching on it as well.  The looks we got were priceless.  Once we got all the way into the line Connor started his campaigning for candy again, so they quickly subsided.  Josie wasn’t sure what to do with all the broccoli in her mouth that she’d clearly misjudged as a treat.  Don’t get me wrong, they both like broccoli cooked but raw isn’t within two concentric circles of a cookie.  Heck it’s not even in the same area code as a cheese snack.

On a sad note Maurice Sendak passed away this week.  He was the author of “Where the Wild Things Are.”  If you aren’t familiar it’s the story of Max who is naughty in his wolf PJs and is sent to bed without dinner.  He discovers a far-away land where the wild things are and he is made king after winning a staring contest.  Connor loves the book the characters, etc.  Josie loves playing with the Dolls that Nita has had since she was a girl.  We’ve all read the story to kids many many times.  Don’t Go. I’ll eat you up!!! I love you so.

Mrs. Manners meet Mr. Murphy

Okay so it wasn’t exactly Murphy’s law to the letter, but anyway, here goes.  For a while now we’ve been working on being polite.  Connor and Josie regularly say “please” and “thank you” and they are generally sweet.  When we ask one to apologize to the other, they do and the other usually says “that’s okay, I forgive you” and there is a hug.  They call their elders Mr. and Mrs. (or at least “Aunt” and “Uncle”) and of course “yes sir” and “no sir.”  Lately we’ve been working on a new project.  Since we now have two chatter boxes we’re working on the proper way to interrupt a conversation.  And as much as I love a good loud talking debate, elevating your voice and talking over everyone isn’t really what we’re going for here.  So we’ve been trying to work on raising our hand and saying, “excuse me, I have something to say.” 

Now the funny/ironic part about this (and those of you who REALLY know me) know I have a bad habit of interrupting people, finishing a thought that I don’t think is getting to the end quick enough and sometimes just plain old talking over people.  I didn’t say it was a good habit, but you know, full disclosure to head off the Luke 6:42 crowd.  J  So the hardest part has been attempting to model the behavior we expect from the kids ourselves.  Nita and I are doing much better for sure, but it isn’t always easy to let someone finish their thought (especially if you are kind of through listening anyway – again, full disclosure). I digress.

So we’ve really been working on how to politely interrupt, wait for the acknowledgement that it is your turn, and then what to do with the floor when you get it.  This weekend we took a little ride up to the Cedar Rock rail road in Williamson County Regional Park.  As you are aware, Connor and Josie both love trains and this was a fun little treat.  As we were riding up there and Nita and I were arguing with the navigation system on the proper way to get there, Connor kept asking us to tell him Godzilla stories while Josie sang songs.  This was a great time to review our strategy on “Mommy and daddy are talking right now, but Connor you are next.”  Then finally, we got things sorted out and we said, “Okay Connor, go ahead.”  “Uhm, uhm, I love you.”  “We love you too pumpkin, but what do you want to say.”  “Uhm, (repeat for about 30 seconds) can you tell me a story about Godzilla and Mothra?”  Meanwhile Josie is saying, ”My turn, my turn” and we know with her experiences and vocabulary it’s more than likely announcing flatulence.

I guess next we’ll work on what to do with the talking stick when you get it, or if the point is just to hold the talking stick (no we aren’t actually using a stick).  Our method for helping the kids with the courtesies is positive re-enforcement.  So we usually reward them for the behavior we want to encourage as a method of getting more of that behavior; enter Mr. Murphy.  So we get to the train station and ride the train a couple of times. Connor and Josie both love the ride and the sounds, all the butterflies, etc.  At the end of the ride the conductor says, “Okay folks thanks for the ride” and he blew the whistle.  Since Connor in his short life has already sat inside the Lakeline mall train and worked the steering wheel, blown the horn, and rang the bell, I incorrectly assumed that pulling the chain for the whistle might be a possibility.  So I said, “Why don’t you go thank the conductor for the ride and ask if you can blow the whistle?”  Connor excitedly walked around and patiently waited while Conductor Tim sold tickets to the next ride.  Then when he was next in line he said, “Thank you for the ride Conductor Tim, may I blow the whistle please?” 

Conductor Tim said, “Sorry son, we can’t let anyone touch the engine, company policy.  You don’t want to end up like this.”  At this point he showed one hand which was missing about 40% of the fingers Connor had.  Two things happened at this point: Connor got upset that his polite inquiry didn’t work, and I found a grotesquely funny way to explain it.  As we loaded the kids into the car seat Connor was beside himself that he was not allowed to touch the train.  I’m not saying we spoil him (we do), but usually if he’s being really good or polite let’s just say the rewards flow in pretty good.  But when he doesn’t get his way, he doesn’t throw a tantrum, but it’s as if his feelings are hurt.  Like, “How can this be? I’ve been good, I was nice to Josie, I was obeying, (channel Nancy Kerrigan) WHY!!”  So we had to take a few deep breaths and then he finally composed himself and said, “But mommy, I said ‘please’ (the word lasted about three seconds)!”  Here is where my sense of humor and problem solving kicked in.  I said, “Well honey, I bet what happened is one day he let a little boy touch the train after the owner told him not to and the owner came and cut off his fingers.” 

Connors eyes got big.  Nita’s mouth dropped.  “Dude!” she said, “What are you doing?”  I laughed.  “So you see Connor, I bet he wanted to let you do it, but he has to follow the rules now since he only has three fingers left.  When we break the rules, sometimes really bad things happen.”  At this point Nita is saying, “We might have been able to spin this another way, don’t you think honey?” while chuckling.  Then on the way home I found four other opportunities to mention instances where not following the rules might warrant cutting off fingers, not even counting the obvious betrayal of the Yakuza code.”  But we really did turn it into something funny and light (not that I’m totally insensitive).  Anyway, on the way back home it was lunchtime and we were talking about what to have for lunch.  As we were doing the mental scan of our fridge I mentioned we could get a quick drive through burger.  Since we’re from Texas, Whataburger was on the top of our list.  So we pull in to the drive through and order our food.

I’m not exactly sure what the protocol is here, but should you tip the girl at the window when your son says, “Who is that fat old lady?”  Is there any amount that guarantees an un-dropped meat patty?  Or is our nervous smile enough?  When the woman walked in the back to get our food, I looked at Connor and said, “Sweetie, you can’t say that.  She’s going to cut off daddy’s fingers.  And then how will we play baseball?” 

Speaking of baseball; Josie is getting very vocal as I mentioned before.  Since the Rangers are so much fun to watch right now and between ESPN, FoxSports Southwest and KBVO you can pretty much watch every single game…which I kind of have, much to Nita’s chagrin.  However, a couple of days ago, Josie came waddling in before bedtime in her little Pajamas and said, “Daddy watching baseball. Josie watch with daddy.”  Although it was more like “daddy watch baybah.”  Then she climbed up on Mancave couch and snuggled up.  Oh, my future looks bright if I have two kiddos who love to watch some baseball with daddy.  And I’m not even counting all the saved trips to the beer fridge. And I know I’m a little long here, but speaking of more baseball, Josie has discovered the joy (about five months earlier than Connor did) of bat races. 

What’s in a name?

Connor and Josephine have shown a true affinity for running in the grass barefoot and generally just playing outside.  They love rides in the golf cart, petting dogs and chasing butterflies which are plentiful on the golf course.  Connor and Josie also love sweets and we’re having some intersecting battles with Nita’s love of a good deal and the selective memory of toddlers.  For example, right after Easter Nita found confetti eggs and hollow plastic eggs for ridiculous prices.  She intended to put them in the Easter tub for next year.  Connor and Josie found them, wanted to open them and then looked in horror when there were no jelly beans inside.  So the “Daddy, can I have one jelly bean please, just ONE jelly bean” dance started.  Then Josie pipes up with “Jahy Bean Peace.”  I know I should be stronger, but come on! 

So with Easter behind us, mostly, the kids are really enjoying spring.  The weather has been fun and we’re starting to plan our run up to the beach house.  As I mentioned before, the butterflies are in full force and I’ve been taking the kids around in the golf cart to see and count them and even chase a couple.  Josie is getting very vocal and even helped me record a little video greeting (more on that later).  By the way, Josie has turned “I want it” into a single word. It’s pretty cute, but we’ll have to break that one.  Our moms have bought the kids a ton of books and are kind of competing on what the kids will become interested in.  I don’t think they are doing it on purpose, rather they are leaning on things they know and both are having a fun effect.  Nita’s mom is a retired teacher and used to teach a segment on dinosaurs.  So we have more dinosaur figurines, stuffed animals, books, etc. than you can imagine.  So the other day, Connor comes into my office and says, “Daddy can I see a dinosaur.”  Sure, why not, so for some reason I think Godzilla is a good search term. 

What the (blank) did I just start?  Now Connor has seen about 50 YouTube clips of original and some REALLY poorly made joke (at least I hope they were joke) Godzilla movies and videos.  He knows a lot of the names now and is constantly asking to see a Godzilla clip.  Then he gets up, stomps in slow motion and swings an invisible tail to knock over his trains and blocks.  Sometimes I have to fight him where I’m Godzilla and he’s Anguirus which is a weird version of an (ready for this) Ankylosaurus.  In any case, he’s a spikey back Stegosauraus looking thing with a ball for a tail and he walks on all fours.  So we duke it out. Sometimes he’s Godzilla and I have to be King Ghidrah  complete with three dragon heads who breathes fire.  On a side note for those who have seen How to train your dragon, he did make the distinction that toothless has one head, the “other” dragon has two heads and Ghidrah has three heads, so I guess at least this Godzilla phase is educational. Finally and leading into my mom’s section is Mothra.  He loves Mothra because basically he’s like a monster butterfly.

As you might have inferred at this point my mother’s contribution is bugs. She’s been buying Connor bug books and teaching him about all the different varieties.  Josie and Connor are disturbingly unafraid of any and all bugs.  I hope this doesn’t (bad pun ahead) sting us in the near future.  If you remember from last week’s adventure, Connor was the one who had all the girls screaming (except Josie) because he was holding a grasshopper he’d found under a table. 

 In any case, a couple of days ago I heard my kids have a full conversation with each other.  Now I’ve heard them talking at the table while we’re getting dinner or breakfast ready.  Usually it’s Connor teaching Josie words and his excitement when she can repeat a word he prompts.  But this time Josie (the human shadow) walked over while Connor was reading a bug book.  He didn’t want to visit or share his book and said, “Go tell momma I’m reading a book on bugs.”  Josie (to my surprise) said, “I’ll be good Connor” (which sounds a lot like “Conneh”). He said, “No Josie, go tell momma.”  Josie then continued to play with him and said, “Watch a show for one minute.”  Connor agreed this was a good plan and came running over with book in hand.  “Momma,” he said, “Can we watch a show for just ONE minute?” 

Yesterday was my 8^th wedding anniversary.  Nita and I planned a few things but as a surprise I posted a little video of the kids saying “Happy Anniversary” to Nita.  It was pretty fun and the kids were awesome.  The day of I had to go to an analyst event at a downtown hotel.  Since it was middle of the day, I worked from home in the morning and took Nita and the kids to the club for lunch.  We have a nice little soup and salad buffet with an entrée.  Anyway, we’re there eating and when Connor is done he wants to go run around outside and chase butterflies.  So we’re out there and the driving range is open.  By the way, Connor also has equated this Godzilla phase with monsters and ghosts.  And he thinks we should be prepared to beat them up.  So in addition to my golf clubs, sometimes we carry a fisher price hockey stick or a big barreled nerf-like bat with us in case we see such a monster or ghost.  Okay, you’re caught up.  So after lunch we go to the range and he starts putting the balls on the tees.  Now he’s lined up about six balls and decides he wants to hit them.  Have my dreams just come true?

Okay, I have REALLY tried to surround him with items that will hopefully pique his interest, but have never pushed.  We’ve hit the baseball on his swing away, and hit a hockey puck, swung a golf club, shot a few baskets and have thrown the baseball and football, but whenever he wanted to go to something else, we moved on.  This time he wanted me to go back to the cart and get him a golf club.  When we got to the cart, he noticed his bat and decided it was his bat that he wanted.  So here he goes, knocking the ball down the range, and setting up a new one…with a bat.  He did it over and over and over.  The guys on the range were just hooting and started calling him Bam Bam!  That was awesome and not even because it matches the whole dinosaur theme.  In fact, that is a nickname that could stick and it would be worth keeping.  So as more people showed up for the noon game, we had to go.  But it wasn’t because Bam Bam wanted to leave, oh quite the opposite.  He begged me to let him keep hitting.  And he wants me to take him back very soon.  As Josie watched brother hit of course she had to do it as well.  So there I was with a wedge that was choked down to a belly putter for her and we were hitting balls off the tee as well.  Anyway, when it was time to go, we hopped in the cart and got a few high fives from the noon group.  Some of whom called out, “See you soon Bam Bam!”  I loved it.  What a great anniversary present.  My two kids showing interest in the game I love (and despise depending on what hole I’m on and what my score is). J  And to my lovely wife, Happy Anniversary honey, I love you and thanks for 8 wonderful years and two beautiful kids.

Quick addendum:  Nita just called me before this post and told me that Connor’s preschool teacher mentioned that Connor held a butterfly on his finger for over ten minutes today.  She said they were calling him the “butterfly whisperer.”  Personally I think Bam Bam is cooler, but what’s in a name?

Connor and Josie, take a bow

What a big week at the Ponderosa, complete with a Hoss.  It all started with our golf club having a three day tournament.  Since my game is terrible right now, I decided to pass on said tournament.  So Nita and I thought it would be fun to take the kids to Georgetown to see the inner space caverns.  Essentially it is big cave that was discovered when the Texas Department of Transportation and US DOT were building IH 35.  The kids wanted to explore and discover (and touch) everything.  If you’ve ever been on a little walking tour like this you know there is a docent who goes about 20 yards, stops and then tells you a story and a joke that they have to tell about six times a day (think Phil Hartman in So I Married an Axe Murder).  They do it all while smiling and pretending that the misbehaving kids and adults aren’t bothering them.  God bless them.  Anyway the two big highlights for the kids were seeing (and chasing through the cave) a bat and the gumball at the end of the tour.  All in all it was a big hit.

Sunday I took Josie to the grocery store with me. This isn’t really a big deal except I was supposed to take both kids but Connor wanted to go to Abuelita’s to play instead.  I was shocked because he always gets a doughnut at the store and would probably trade a toe for a doughnut if given the chance.  However, I discovered that (against our wishes) Abuelita is giving Connor suckers and candy every time he goes over.  So there’s that.  After naps, Connor and Nita made cookies and we drove the golf cart up to the club to distribute them.  Nita’s cookies have been a big hit for about a decade for three day tournaments.  So it made for a pretty excited group of golfers charging us like Rhinos at the zoo when they saw the official cookie basket.  Connor had a great time handing them out too. Josie enjoyed running up and down the tee box.

Tuesday was soccer tots.  Nita has a couple of girlfriends whose kids are in Connor’s class and who signed them up for a 3 year old soccer class.  When Nita initially told me about this class I was VERY skeptical.  As a former athlete I am very aware of the pyramid of sports, parents living vicariously through their progeny and the effects it has on them.  You see it is very important that Connor play and love sports.  So my goal is not to push him into anything (too early) that will turn him off of it.  So I was cringing when Nita said she was doing this.  The other reason I was worried was because her friend’s kids are already in soccer crazy households.  One can’t even speak English and I think was wrapped in a soccer jersey at birth.  In any case, she did it and I hoped for the best.

I missed the first two sessions traveling but was able to take in this week’s class.  Oh, my gosh was this funny.  Connor could give two hoots about the whole thing but just liked jumping, running around, and doing his thing.  He didn’t really want to do all the same things, was borderline disruptive by doing his own thing, but in no way was he going to get turned off of organized sport on this day.  So there is one more class left and then it’s on to swimming this summer.

Nita has never completely understood how big a deal some of my friends are.  I say that not to promote that I am a big deal, it’s quite the opposite.  I’m a boring computer guy.  These guys are actual rock stars, movie stars, and professional athletes.  They are the top of the top and I’m pretty blessed and honored to call them friends.  In any case, because of her exposure to these folks and how “normal” they are around us, I think sometimes she takes for granted what a big deal some of our opportunities to spend time around them in their work environment really are.  I made this analogy to her.  “You have a friend who is a brilliant musician and one who is an author.  Imagine if they invited you to a back yard barbeque where Yo Yo Ma, Eddie Van Halen, Celine Dion, Taylor Swift, Stephen King, JK Rowling, Tom Clancy, Suzanne Collins (Hunger games), etc. would be there.  Would that be a pretty big deal?”  She said, ‘Hell yes!’  I said, “That’s where we’re going.  But for the greatest golfers.”

That being said, my friend Omar is a PGA tour golfer.  About 15 years ago his dad and an Austin icon named Sonny Falcon (the fajita king) had an idea for the Texas Open golf tournament in San Antonio.  They would invite the players and their families to a park (semi-secret location, no press) and cook fajitas, Omar’s mother’s famous enchiladas, and a cousin who had ties to a beer company would provide the beverages.  This morphed into other Tour players doing this for other tournaments and eventually the Tour started picking up the tab and more and more players and families attending.  As a friend/family, I’ve been able to attend most of these and they are pretty darn neat.  And it is great to interact with these folks in a family environment instead of at a tournament where they are basically doing their job. Let’s put it this way.  You have quite a different relationship with someone when you catch their child before they fall off a table than if you go up to them at a rope line and ask for an autograph.

So here is the stage, we drive down to San Antonio with Connor and Josie singing songs the entire way. Once we get to the course we head to the range and there in front of us are the best golfers in the world, some caddies, and some wives and girlfriends.  Connor is so overcome with amazement…because he found a grasshopper.  He picked it up and all the kids were chasing him around to look at it. My boy.  Josie immediately dumps an entire water bottle down her front like she’s in an 80’s spring break movie.  My girl. We get them fed and Connor discovers the ice cream station.  So he has two full HUGE rainbow Popsicles and half an ice cream sandwich.  We then head to the golf range where there are kids clubs provided.  That was pretty fun for about 10 minutes.  Connor was more interested in dipping his hand in the cold water/ice buckets that had the Gatorade and water.  He found out that your hands would go kind of numb after a while and asked if he could put his feet in it.  My boy.

After the golf range it was time to do the obligatory run around like you’re being chased by a bee dance.  Connor and Josie both loved doing this with the kids.  Then they found they could make it “snow” by pulling the ice out of the aforementioned ice buckets.  Finally, leave it to Connor to find the drain plug.  Once that happened the kids all took their shoes off and just ran around like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn.  This got quite a few hoots from the Tour players, wives, and officials.  I can honestly say THIS is what it is all about.  This was probably the best time I’ve had at one of these events and I’ve been to a lot of them.  And I know it was the best one Nita’s ever been to (because she told me).  I have been warned that these are the best ages and I’ve also been told it “only gets better.” I think I really got the biggest kick out of the hugs and compliments from some of the guys I know out there (and some I didn’t).  They were legitimately entertained by the kids and it was pretty neat. Connor, Josie, take a bow!

The thrill of the hunt

This weekend was a funny one in so many ways.  It was Easter, Masters Weekend, and also my birthday.  One thing I’ve learned with my wife’s family is that holidays are more than being together…there are very specific rules and there must be pageantry. I’ve also learned that no matter what anyone says, you cannot combine birthdays with holidays.

So for a couple of weeks we’ve been deciding what the Easter bunny would bring the kids and how we would present the gifts.  The plans changed quite a few times and we ended up filling eggs and wrapping gifts the night before.  We figured that Connor is old enough to start remembering the routine so this would pretty much become “the” tradition.  Josie is just starting to use sentences now.  So most of her gray matter is not as much focused on the “how,” but the “what.”  I requested my mom’s famous strawberry cake but thought it would be a neat twist to bake it in Nita’s train mold for the kids.  It was at this point I was informed that it would not be coordinated with Easter activities.

The kids came downstairs and much like Christmas discovered the Easter bunny had brought them presents.  We explained that the greatest gift of all was given by God, but at 3 he is a little more interested in the books, trains, and of course candy.  At least we got him to say, “Thank you Jesus.”  As the kids started playing with the new toys it was almost time for the brunch and hunt.

So the grandparents came over and I made mimosas, coffee, and laid out the brunch. Nita’s brother was in attendance this year.  Of course Connor had been snacking on the cheese tray and fruit and was not very hungry…for actual healthy food (we learned later he had way more room for anything covered in sugar, chocolate or had marshmallow filling).  After a very quick meal the kids were re-dressed into their Easter attire and Mario and I went to go hide eggs.  By hide, we basically made them as visible as possible so no ants would get to the candy before the kids.

Connor came out first and had his little basket in hand.  He found the first egg and opened it.  He discovered the candy and ate it.  It reminded me of the very first hunt with the Houston cousins.  All their kids were veterans and Connor was just barely a year and a half.  He also LOVED raisins.  So like good parents (and newbies) we put little boxes of raisins in his eggs.  He opened the first box, sat on the ground and started working on them.  We all know it takes a one year old about a week to eat just one little box.  So while he was happy as could be with his booty, the other kids ran circles around him grabbing as many eggs as possible.  Connor had no idea this was a contest.  The other mothers were somewhat horrified and immediately began grabbing eggs out of their kid’s baskets and giving them to Connor.  Well Connor thought this was awesome, while the kids were screaming about the unjust circumstances and redistribution of wealth. Connor honestly didn’t care either way, he’d have been happy with one box of raisins.

The following year we had a piñata.  If I hadn’t taken a hammer to the damn thing we’d still be swinging at it.  Don’t those people (technically us people, but I digress) know the point is for children to hit it 2 or three times and then it should blow up.  Anyway, we had a little 12 egg hunt and then the piñata.  Connor liked hitting it, but was even more excited when daddy cut a hole out of the bottom for the goods.

Now back to this year.  Connor goes out first, grabs an egg, sits, and eats the candy.  We say, “Connor go fill up your basket.”  Now Josie comes out, we say, “Josie, go get some eggs sweetheart.”  She goes straight to Connor’s basket and grabs an egg.  (Why did you rob banks Mr. Sutton? Because that’s where the money was).  Not too shabby for 17 months eh?  Connor sees what is going on and immediately goes to box her out.  Josie draws the charge.  We separate them; move them to different parts of the yard and the hunt is no longer a quest for quantity, but rather immediate gratification.  Connor gets to the point where he’s no longer even looking at what’s inside.  He just opens the egg and shoots it like a Jaeger bomb.  Josie needs help and picks the larger eggs, comes up to one of us, and says, “Help. Open.”  So the sugar rush goes on. 

Now it was time for cascarones (confetti eggs). The kids had a great time breaking the eggs over everyone’s head and watching all the confetti come out.  They are too young to be violent about this part of the program, but something tells me we are one or two years away from tears and a time out.

Since Nita’s brother’s birthday was so close to Christmas, they always made a big deal about separating it from Christmas, which I can certainly understand.  However, this was number 43 for me. Not too significant other than it being a prime number. But I couldn’t serve or eat cake during the Easter party.  I had to wait until the kids went to nap, woke up, and then we’d have a ceremony.  So I went into Mancave and turned on the Masters.  Mom came over and Connor woke up early (big shock, he had enough sugar to knock down a horse) and Connor helped make the cake.  Meanwhile Oosthuiszen had just made a double eagle from 260 yards and Mickelson was choking again.  They called me for the ceremony.  So I pushed pause, went outside while the kids sang “happy birthday” and I blew out my three candles. Connor and Josie also got a candle to blow out for fun.  We toasted, I chugged a small glass of champagne, and went back into Mancave to watch Bubba Watson bring me to tears.

All in all, really fun Easter, great birthday.  The kids loved the sugar fest, presents, and having everyone around.  In fairness I had already pre-purchased a couple of things that I wanted and claimed them as my early birthday presents, so that part was just fine.  Not that I think any one does, but don’t feel sorry for me, I’m doing just fine.  Sometimes, it’s the thrill of the hunt.