Christmas 2015

Christmas Letter 2015

Last year we got a dog, Nita left her company to be a stay at home mom, I left Dell and started a new job, and Connor went on his first dove hunt.  How could we possibly top all of that? Well buckle up, grab your beverage of choice, get a cozy seat by the fire, and hang on.  Here we go…… 

Nita first full year AS A SAHM           ([Sum] pronounced like Buford T Justice would call Smokey a Som B****).  Everyone who has ever started a job or a new project mid-year finds that you don’t truly get the hang of something until you have a full year under your belt.  Well this was Nita’s first year as a stay at home mom.  I think there may have been more than she expected.  Top five things “we” learned:

1.      This is hard, harder than actually going to an office and shutting it down at 5 or 6 pm.

2.      Your vocabulary will regress into whatever is on the first grade reading list and your book club book.

3.      Don’t give your wife any shit about book club, girl’s nights, trunk shows, or any of it. Just don’t, it isn’t worth it and they need the adult interaction.  And no: calling, texting, and emailing do not sufficiently scratch the itch.

4.      There is a new sheriff in town.  Do not be surprised if you give an order to the kids and they immediately look to momma for the final “go” or “no go.”

5.      It just may simultaneously be the most underappreciated job in the world.  Nice job honey!

Spine and rehab           Most of this year and half of last year was spent NOT playing golf.  I gutted through a few tournaments and played a few nine-hole scrambles, but all in all it was miserable.  I was diagnosed with a herniated disk.  I spent a lot of time and money with physical therapists and chiropractors, even acupuncturists.  I eventually got to the point where I could exercise a little, but my violent golf swing which gave me so much pleasure and yardage was a thing of the past.  Turns out there may have been more there.

Tee-ball and soccer                 One of my dreams finally came true.  I had a plan that I would not push my children into sports.  I would love for them to be in them, but not for me…for them.  I knew the value of comradery, teamwork, responsibility. I knew winning and losing would help them in life.  But I didn’t want them to feel like it was a chore, because we all know it takes work to get better at anything.  Well imagine my joy while walking through Academy Sports on February 21 when Connor said, “Daddy, I want to play baseball.”  *record scratch/crooked dog head* “Are you sure son?”  “Yes dad, I want to play this year.”  Inside my happy F bombs were dropping like a WWII blitzkrieg. “Well son, let’s go pick out a bat, new glove, and a tee.”  I found out that the registration for our league had closed…the day before.  I emailed EVERYONE I knew including the commissioner.  I told them of my background and volunteered to coach and potentially be a medical resource (EMT) for the kids.  Connor was on a tee-ball team three days later…and I was an assistant coach, and helped a guy with a broken nose.  Connor’s focus issues eventually rose to the top, but we had a great year, the kids learned a lot, and my back issues notwithstanding I had an awesome year.  Connor was even awarded two game balls this season, an award he cherished more than anyone really knows. Connor decided to play coach pitch, and Josie excitedly made me sign her up to play tee-ball next spring. 

When Connor showed his interest for tee-ball, Josie was not about to be left out.  She wanted a sport and decided soccer was for her.  She played both spring and fall seasons.  She loved the spring session because there was one really aggressive and fast kid on her team that scored at least a half dozen goals per game…I don’t even know what they call that, a golden flaming sombrero?  Anyway, by the end of fall (where the team was not scoring goals and winning) she had decided her soccer career was over.  In fact by the end of the season both wanted to quit. We explained that “Martinez’ never quit” and they fully bought into the philosophy but they were not having fun.  So after the last game, we all decided that soccer may have run its course in our family. 

A dentist friend has a son that Connor loves to play with.  Turns out the dentite was a former wrestler as well.  So we proposed an impromptu wrestling camp for the two kids and both were excited about it.  We plan to give it a shot during the Christmas holidays.  Greg (the dentist) and I are already salivating over how this might play out.  Wrestling does a LOT for kids in so many ways.  It helps with bullying, stamina, agility, toughness (mental and physical), pain tolerance, balance, and general bad-assery. One thing I have seen in my life is that people will mess with wrestlers…once.  What more can you ask of a fair skinned red head who is arguably the sweetest kid you will ever meet in your lifetime.  I’m not just saying this as a parent, I get this feedback ALL the time.  Connor is truly a gentle giant.  At his birthday party he was stepped on in the bounce house and it busted his lip.  He came to me with a bloody mouth and almost emotionlessly asked me, “Dad, someone stepped on me in the bounce house, can you please wash out my mouth?”  No tears, no blame, not freaking out at tasting his blood.  He just wanted to fix it so he could go back out and play. That boy makes me so proud on so many levels.

Last Spring Sing for Connor             In the spring Connor finished his last year at Hope Children’s Center.  His final spring sing was met with joy and tears.  His teachers and the administrators adored him and he loved them too.  Even though he was just moving across the street to Spicewood Elementary for first grade, it was a bittersweet day.  A month later Nita took him to the dentist.  As some of you may be aware, redheads need more anesthesia than “normal” people.  So the Demerol and nitrous were unable to calm him down enough to do his dental work.  Three years earlier we had an ear, nose and throat doctor suggest removing his tonsils and adenoids after contracting strep twice in three weeks and the fact that his tonsils were in the 4+ range.  As it turns out, you can have your doctor and dentist coordinate in the hospital and the dentist will do their thing first, then the ENT will come in behind and knock out the tonsils and adenoids.  Poor Connor had to spend one night in the hospital, but he was a champ.  He ended up getting seven fillings, two teeth pulled (technically one fell out when they intubated), and the tonsillectomy/adenoidectomy. Within five hours of post-op, he was bouncing on his core ball watching Kung Fu Panda. That kid is amazing and his pain tolerance is unbelievable.

Finding Pita                   As you may remember from last year, Connor has an affinity for finding reptiles especially snakes, lizards, frogs, and turtles.  This time as Nita and the kids were exploring the Spicewood golf course (which will never re-open, please stop telling people that it will), he found a baby aquatic Texas Cooter that the kids named Pita.  (“Mom!!  You’ll NEVER believe what I just found!”)  Nita corresponded with a UT Arlington biologist (www.texasturtles.org...also on FB), and we learned that the newly named Pita needed sun for her shell, UV light, and live crickets.  One day, Nita and the kids put Pita outside in a toy water table with rocks and water to get some ‘shell time’.  When they returned from running errands…Pita was gone, Nita was mortified, and the kids were inconsolable.  Nita put a note out on the Balcones mom’s and neighbor’s groups and hoped for the best (let’s turn on the crazy! ), Of course it didn’t help that the very next day our yard crew came by and well, mowed the yard.  Three days later, our awesome neighbor John knocked on the front door, holding a little aquatic turtle in a plastic storage container.  “Is this the little guy you were looking for?  He was in our swimming pool.”  The kids were so excited to get her back.  We even bought a few minnows to put in the tank to keep her company…and a snail for the cleanup.  Pita is the longest lasting reptile with us (we usually set them free) and has been with us for almost 7 months now.  Oh and in the “you have got to be sh**ing me category…on December 3, Nita walked into our master bathroom and guess who was laying on the floor?  Paco!  Yes, the checkered garter snake we lost last year. Now he is 27 inches long (yes….we actually measured him…..on a 1970s yardstick compliments of the late, great, Luke L. Patrenella Jr.) and I’ve wondered why I haven’t seen a house gecko in months.  So our lack of fear of reptiles made him an easy catch for Connor and believe it or not, he was so docile it almost seemed like he missed us.  Although….we may have jumped the gun on Paco.  I think it is a new snake with very different mannerisms than Paco had. So with this new theory, Josie has renamed said snake…ready?  “Cutes – Rainbow – Godzilla.”  The good news is I hear the Austin Herpetology expo will be in our driveway next year.

Port Aransas                The beach trip was nothing too special this year.  We didn’t go with any friends this year, and the seaweed wasn’t piled high as in years past.  In fact it was pretty relaxing.  We stayed at a friend’s beach house who lent us his golf cart. I took Connor on his first fishing charter and of course he caught more fish than anyone else on the boat.  He was so proud of himself and we even ate his entire catch for dinner that night.  Nita still insists on making him look like Casper the ghost when we go out and I get it, he’s a fair skinned red head, but your pictures shouldn’t look like an Al Jolson negative.  “At least he isn’t getting freckles,” she says. While this was going on torrential rains and floods were hitting CenTex.  We even had a tree fall on the same good neighbor’s house that returned Pita.  We then popped over to Houston to the Italian cousins’ house to congratulate young Nicholas regarding his acceptance and future attendance at Texas A&M.  The night we arrived, we attempted to eat dinner at Patrenella’s restaurant. The rain and flooding were so bad we had to turn around and not drown.  We actually saw cars with floodwater up to the windows downtown.  It was somewhat nightmarish because the kids were starving and we ended up on the highways for almost two hours trying to drive 15 miles.  But as the storms pounded everyone we knew, we were safely somewhere else and our drive back to Austin was uneventful.  God is certainly watching over us.

Connor starts Spicewood                  Connor left the friendly confines of Hope Children’s Center this year and started public first grade.  We were worried a bit because as many of you know Connor has transition issues and to call him “fidgety” is perhaps the understatement of all time. But his OT doc said he was ready and frankly he is doing great.  By the first month, he was on a behavior plan.  By December he had already won a Principal’s Pride award.  He even gave a presentation the first week of December and was amazing.  Nita and I crashed it, and he wore his teacher’s microphone lanyard without playing with it or being silly.  He did not use the pointer in any manner other than to point to the picture he would be describing next. Finally he called on his peers in a polite commanding manner answering all their questions accurately.  Proud doesn’t begin to describe it.  What I’m most proud of is that he is a happy go-lucky kid and a gentle giant.  He’s almost a head taller than most of his peers and sweeter than a gumdrop.  He always tells the truth, even when he knows he’ll get in trouble.  We learned that actions have consequences, but lying makes them worse.  For the better part of 3 years, he’ll tell you what happened even if he can’t tell you why it happened.  “Integrity is a thing you can only sell once” my father used to tell me (Miss you dad).  Josie is in her last year at Hope and will enroll in kindergarten at Spicewood in fall 2016.  She’s ready, but you already knew that.  She has definitely blossomed into a little miss preen. She seems to be in charge of her class most days and leads them all in the daily lunch prayer.  She even drops the hammer at home if someone tries to sample something on their plate prior to the family prayer.  Also, some days she likes certain vegetables, some days she only likes them prepared a certain way, some days they are right out!  She has also discovered the power of the tear drop.  The force is strong with this one.

Top ten (or so) things Marco learned about his cancer

For a full account go to the blog.  I’ve been keeping a play by play journal, and frankly it would consume the entire Christmas letter to describe it all.  You can find it at www.tworedstwobrowns.blogspot.com.  First episode is “265 likes for a fart.”  So the top ten or so things I learned with Cancer and Chemo:

1.      MD Anderson is so big you have to take a shuttle inside the buildings (which stops running at 8:30PM and they are the best cancer center in the world).

2.      I cannot begin to articulate how humbling it is to see an army of friends and family rally around you and demonstrate how truly loved you and your family are.

3.      There are angels all around us and they come in all sizes.  They show up exactly when you need them (not necessarily when you think you need them).

4.      75% of the people who bring food will bring you their best casserole dish…which is carby, heavy, and DELICIOUS.

5.      Imodium and anti-nausea medicine can determine how your entire day goes and a good cry is more therapeutic than I ever imagined.

6.      Make friends with doctors!  If your doctor friend ever wants to change your surgical team for any reason, let them.  Don’t even ask what or why.  You just thank and hug them!

7.      Don’t forget the Lidocaine on infusion day and an IV bag with a pump connected to your chest is even more cumbersome than it sounds.

8.      When you lose part of your sense of taste, what you eat is not as important anymore, but you still crave sweets (I know, don’t start).

9.      You can actually survive on one bourbon per week…not one continuous bourbon after another, like before.

10.   I found that there is no love that penetrates your soul more than that of your concerned child, I never dreamed how deeply until I experienced it. 

11.   Don’t freak out when you get a $250,000 bill that has been “discounted” to $98,000.  It isn’t as real as you think…for you anyway.

12.   Don’t forget to tell everyone you love them.  Do it every day and pray, it works.  Live in the moment, enjoy your family, and love the life God gave you. What are you waiting for?

 

Nita’s new vagina      So that title was as subtle as a speculum.  So why are we talking about this? Because…incredibly, the day BEFORE I went into the hospital, we had an appointment with urogynecologist Dr. Tomas Antonini.  We were finally getting around to repairing Nita’s significant pelvic floor prolapse, which has been an issue for her since Josie’s birth.  She wanted to put the surgery off until the kids were more independently mobile, and until we were sure we weren’t going to be a family of five.

After Nita’s consult, my surgery occurred four days later…and Nita thought I was absolutely insane for asking her to keep her surgical appointment.  What were we thinking trying to add yet another element of drama to our already burdened home?  Logically it made a lot of financial sense to do the surgery this year especially with all the existing support from our neighborhood with meals, rides for the kids, and other contributions.  Besides with my issue in flux, what should she wait for? So…she did it!  She checked in for surgery on October 21st, survived the megadose of anesthesia reserved for saucy redheads (next to Tiffany on the hot crazy matrix) and now she is doing very well.  In addition to the prolapse repair, she had a total hysterectomy and a bladder sling implemented as well.  The full enchilada. Dr. Antonini says the surgery will restore her vagina to its pre-childbirth status (he may have even mentioned something about prom).  However, she will never be able to launch that career in professional weight lifting like she had been mulling over.  Now that she has no personal need any longer, she has been dubbed the feminine products fairy for our neighborhood.  Tampons, anyone?

Well, there it is.  Another action packed year of ups and downs.  Through it all the Martinez clan has come out stronger, wiser, and closer.  You can knock us down, but you can’t keep us down.  We are a family of lovers and fighters and we don’t give up.  Martinez’ never quit. So we’d like to wish you a very Merry Christmas, a happy and prosperous New Year filled with laughter, joy, and tight squeezy hugs.  We love you and want to thank you for being a part of our lives.  You make us better people.  May God bless and keep you and your families and always find a reason to keep going and never ring out (read the blog).

Final addendum: The great folks at my recruiting website Aggie Yell started a GoFundMe account.  Feel free to visit or don't.  Team Marco Go Fund Me