What’s in a name?

Connor and Josephine have shown a true affinity for running in the grass barefoot and generally just playing outside.  They love rides in the golf cart, petting dogs and chasing butterflies which are plentiful on the golf course.  Connor and Josie also love sweets and we’re having some intersecting battles with Nita’s love of a good deal and the selective memory of toddlers.  For example, right after Easter Nita found confetti eggs and hollow plastic eggs for ridiculous prices.  She intended to put them in the Easter tub for next year.  Connor and Josie found them, wanted to open them and then looked in horror when there were no jelly beans inside.  So the “Daddy, can I have one jelly bean please, just ONE jelly bean” dance started.  Then Josie pipes up with “Jahy Bean Peace.”  I know I should be stronger, but come on! 

So with Easter behind us, mostly, the kids are really enjoying spring.  The weather has been fun and we’re starting to plan our run up to the beach house.  As I mentioned before, the butterflies are in full force and I’ve been taking the kids around in the golf cart to see and count them and even chase a couple.  Josie is getting very vocal and even helped me record a little video greeting (more on that later).  By the way, Josie has turned “I want it” into a single word. It’s pretty cute, but we’ll have to break that one.  Our moms have bought the kids a ton of books and are kind of competing on what the kids will become interested in.  I don’t think they are doing it on purpose, rather they are leaning on things they know and both are having a fun effect.  Nita’s mom is a retired teacher and used to teach a segment on dinosaurs.  So we have more dinosaur figurines, stuffed animals, books, etc. than you can imagine.  So the other day, Connor comes into my office and says, “Daddy can I see a dinosaur.”  Sure, why not, so for some reason I think Godzilla is a good search term. 

What the (blank) did I just start?  Now Connor has seen about 50 YouTube clips of original and some REALLY poorly made joke (at least I hope they were joke) Godzilla movies and videos.  He knows a lot of the names now and is constantly asking to see a Godzilla clip.  Then he gets up, stomps in slow motion and swings an invisible tail to knock over his trains and blocks.  Sometimes I have to fight him where I’m Godzilla and he’s Anguirus which is a weird version of an (ready for this) Ankylosaurus.  In any case, he’s a spikey back Stegosauraus looking thing with a ball for a tail and he walks on all fours.  So we duke it out. Sometimes he’s Godzilla and I have to be King Ghidrah  complete with three dragon heads who breathes fire.  On a side note for those who have seen How to train your dragon, he did make the distinction that toothless has one head, the “other” dragon has two heads and Ghidrah has three heads, so I guess at least this Godzilla phase is educational. Finally and leading into my mom’s section is Mothra.  He loves Mothra because basically he’s like a monster butterfly.

As you might have inferred at this point my mother’s contribution is bugs. She’s been buying Connor bug books and teaching him about all the different varieties.  Josie and Connor are disturbingly unafraid of any and all bugs.  I hope this doesn’t (bad pun ahead) sting us in the near future.  If you remember from last week’s adventure, Connor was the one who had all the girls screaming (except Josie) because he was holding a grasshopper he’d found under a table. 

 In any case, a couple of days ago I heard my kids have a full conversation with each other.  Now I’ve heard them talking at the table while we’re getting dinner or breakfast ready.  Usually it’s Connor teaching Josie words and his excitement when she can repeat a word he prompts.  But this time Josie (the human shadow) walked over while Connor was reading a bug book.  He didn’t want to visit or share his book and said, “Go tell momma I’m reading a book on bugs.”  Josie (to my surprise) said, “I’ll be good Connor” (which sounds a lot like “Conneh”). He said, “No Josie, go tell momma.”  Josie then continued to play with him and said, “Watch a show for one minute.”  Connor agreed this was a good plan and came running over with book in hand.  “Momma,” he said, “Can we watch a show for just ONE minute?” 

Yesterday was my 8^th wedding anniversary.  Nita and I planned a few things but as a surprise I posted a little video of the kids saying “Happy Anniversary” to Nita.  It was pretty fun and the kids were awesome.  The day of I had to go to an analyst event at a downtown hotel.  Since it was middle of the day, I worked from home in the morning and took Nita and the kids to the club for lunch.  We have a nice little soup and salad buffet with an entrée.  Anyway, we’re there eating and when Connor is done he wants to go run around outside and chase butterflies.  So we’re out there and the driving range is open.  By the way, Connor also has equated this Godzilla phase with monsters and ghosts.  And he thinks we should be prepared to beat them up.  So in addition to my golf clubs, sometimes we carry a fisher price hockey stick or a big barreled nerf-like bat with us in case we see such a monster or ghost.  Okay, you’re caught up.  So after lunch we go to the range and he starts putting the balls on the tees.  Now he’s lined up about six balls and decides he wants to hit them.  Have my dreams just come true?

Okay, I have REALLY tried to surround him with items that will hopefully pique his interest, but have never pushed.  We’ve hit the baseball on his swing away, and hit a hockey puck, swung a golf club, shot a few baskets and have thrown the baseball and football, but whenever he wanted to go to something else, we moved on.  This time he wanted me to go back to the cart and get him a golf club.  When we got to the cart, he noticed his bat and decided it was his bat that he wanted.  So here he goes, knocking the ball down the range, and setting up a new one…with a bat.  He did it over and over and over.  The guys on the range were just hooting and started calling him Bam Bam!  That was awesome and not even because it matches the whole dinosaur theme.  In fact, that is a nickname that could stick and it would be worth keeping.  So as more people showed up for the noon game, we had to go.  But it wasn’t because Bam Bam wanted to leave, oh quite the opposite.  He begged me to let him keep hitting.  And he wants me to take him back very soon.  As Josie watched brother hit of course she had to do it as well.  So there I was with a wedge that was choked down to a belly putter for her and we were hitting balls off the tee as well.  Anyway, when it was time to go, we hopped in the cart and got a few high fives from the noon group.  Some of whom called out, “See you soon Bam Bam!”  I loved it.  What a great anniversary present.  My two kids showing interest in the game I love (and despise depending on what hole I’m on and what my score is). J  And to my lovely wife, Happy Anniversary honey, I love you and thanks for 8 wonderful years and two beautiful kids.

Quick addendum:  Nita just called me before this post and told me that Connor’s preschool teacher mentioned that Connor held a butterfly on his finger for over ten minutes today.  She said they were calling him the “butterfly whisperer.”  Personally I think Bam Bam is cooler, but what’s in a name?

Connor and Josie, take a bow

What a big week at the Ponderosa, complete with a Hoss.  It all started with our golf club having a three day tournament.  Since my game is terrible right now, I decided to pass on said tournament.  So Nita and I thought it would be fun to take the kids to Georgetown to see the inner space caverns.  Essentially it is big cave that was discovered when the Texas Department of Transportation and US DOT were building IH 35.  The kids wanted to explore and discover (and touch) everything.  If you’ve ever been on a little walking tour like this you know there is a docent who goes about 20 yards, stops and then tells you a story and a joke that they have to tell about six times a day (think Phil Hartman in So I Married an Axe Murder).  They do it all while smiling and pretending that the misbehaving kids and adults aren’t bothering them.  God bless them.  Anyway the two big highlights for the kids were seeing (and chasing through the cave) a bat and the gumball at the end of the tour.  All in all it was a big hit.

Sunday I took Josie to the grocery store with me. This isn’t really a big deal except I was supposed to take both kids but Connor wanted to go to Abuelita’s to play instead.  I was shocked because he always gets a doughnut at the store and would probably trade a toe for a doughnut if given the chance.  However, I discovered that (against our wishes) Abuelita is giving Connor suckers and candy every time he goes over.  So there’s that.  After naps, Connor and Nita made cookies and we drove the golf cart up to the club to distribute them.  Nita’s cookies have been a big hit for about a decade for three day tournaments.  So it made for a pretty excited group of golfers charging us like Rhinos at the zoo when they saw the official cookie basket.  Connor had a great time handing them out too. Josie enjoyed running up and down the tee box.

Tuesday was soccer tots.  Nita has a couple of girlfriends whose kids are in Connor’s class and who signed them up for a 3 year old soccer class.  When Nita initially told me about this class I was VERY skeptical.  As a former athlete I am very aware of the pyramid of sports, parents living vicariously through their progeny and the effects it has on them.  You see it is very important that Connor play and love sports.  So my goal is not to push him into anything (too early) that will turn him off of it.  So I was cringing when Nita said she was doing this.  The other reason I was worried was because her friend’s kids are already in soccer crazy households.  One can’t even speak English and I think was wrapped in a soccer jersey at birth.  In any case, she did it and I hoped for the best.

I missed the first two sessions traveling but was able to take in this week’s class.  Oh, my gosh was this funny.  Connor could give two hoots about the whole thing but just liked jumping, running around, and doing his thing.  He didn’t really want to do all the same things, was borderline disruptive by doing his own thing, but in no way was he going to get turned off of organized sport on this day.  So there is one more class left and then it’s on to swimming this summer.

Nita has never completely understood how big a deal some of my friends are.  I say that not to promote that I am a big deal, it’s quite the opposite.  I’m a boring computer guy.  These guys are actual rock stars, movie stars, and professional athletes.  They are the top of the top and I’m pretty blessed and honored to call them friends.  In any case, because of her exposure to these folks and how “normal” they are around us, I think sometimes she takes for granted what a big deal some of our opportunities to spend time around them in their work environment really are.  I made this analogy to her.  “You have a friend who is a brilliant musician and one who is an author.  Imagine if they invited you to a back yard barbeque where Yo Yo Ma, Eddie Van Halen, Celine Dion, Taylor Swift, Stephen King, JK Rowling, Tom Clancy, Suzanne Collins (Hunger games), etc. would be there.  Would that be a pretty big deal?”  She said, ‘Hell yes!’  I said, “That’s where we’re going.  But for the greatest golfers.”

That being said, my friend Omar is a PGA tour golfer.  About 15 years ago his dad and an Austin icon named Sonny Falcon (the fajita king) had an idea for the Texas Open golf tournament in San Antonio.  They would invite the players and their families to a park (semi-secret location, no press) and cook fajitas, Omar’s mother’s famous enchiladas, and a cousin who had ties to a beer company would provide the beverages.  This morphed into other Tour players doing this for other tournaments and eventually the Tour started picking up the tab and more and more players and families attending.  As a friend/family, I’ve been able to attend most of these and they are pretty darn neat.  And it is great to interact with these folks in a family environment instead of at a tournament where they are basically doing their job. Let’s put it this way.  You have quite a different relationship with someone when you catch their child before they fall off a table than if you go up to them at a rope line and ask for an autograph.

So here is the stage, we drive down to San Antonio with Connor and Josie singing songs the entire way. Once we get to the course we head to the range and there in front of us are the best golfers in the world, some caddies, and some wives and girlfriends.  Connor is so overcome with amazement…because he found a grasshopper.  He picked it up and all the kids were chasing him around to look at it. My boy.  Josie immediately dumps an entire water bottle down her front like she’s in an 80’s spring break movie.  My girl. We get them fed and Connor discovers the ice cream station.  So he has two full HUGE rainbow Popsicles and half an ice cream sandwich.  We then head to the golf range where there are kids clubs provided.  That was pretty fun for about 10 minutes.  Connor was more interested in dipping his hand in the cold water/ice buckets that had the Gatorade and water.  He found out that your hands would go kind of numb after a while and asked if he could put his feet in it.  My boy.

After the golf range it was time to do the obligatory run around like you’re being chased by a bee dance.  Connor and Josie both loved doing this with the kids.  Then they found they could make it “snow” by pulling the ice out of the aforementioned ice buckets.  Finally, leave it to Connor to find the drain plug.  Once that happened the kids all took their shoes off and just ran around like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn.  This got quite a few hoots from the Tour players, wives, and officials.  I can honestly say THIS is what it is all about.  This was probably the best time I’ve had at one of these events and I’ve been to a lot of them.  And I know it was the best one Nita’s ever been to (because she told me).  I have been warned that these are the best ages and I’ve also been told it “only gets better.” I think I really got the biggest kick out of the hugs and compliments from some of the guys I know out there (and some I didn’t).  They were legitimately entertained by the kids and it was pretty neat. Connor, Josie, take a bow!

The thrill of the hunt

This weekend was a funny one in so many ways.  It was Easter, Masters Weekend, and also my birthday.  One thing I’ve learned with my wife’s family is that holidays are more than being together…there are very specific rules and there must be pageantry. I’ve also learned that no matter what anyone says, you cannot combine birthdays with holidays.

So for a couple of weeks we’ve been deciding what the Easter bunny would bring the kids and how we would present the gifts.  The plans changed quite a few times and we ended up filling eggs and wrapping gifts the night before.  We figured that Connor is old enough to start remembering the routine so this would pretty much become “the” tradition.  Josie is just starting to use sentences now.  So most of her gray matter is not as much focused on the “how,” but the “what.”  I requested my mom’s famous strawberry cake but thought it would be a neat twist to bake it in Nita’s train mold for the kids.  It was at this point I was informed that it would not be coordinated with Easter activities.

The kids came downstairs and much like Christmas discovered the Easter bunny had brought them presents.  We explained that the greatest gift of all was given by God, but at 3 he is a little more interested in the books, trains, and of course candy.  At least we got him to say, “Thank you Jesus.”  As the kids started playing with the new toys it was almost time for the brunch and hunt.

So the grandparents came over and I made mimosas, coffee, and laid out the brunch. Nita’s brother was in attendance this year.  Of course Connor had been snacking on the cheese tray and fruit and was not very hungry…for actual healthy food (we learned later he had way more room for anything covered in sugar, chocolate or had marshmallow filling).  After a very quick meal the kids were re-dressed into their Easter attire and Mario and I went to go hide eggs.  By hide, we basically made them as visible as possible so no ants would get to the candy before the kids.

Connor came out first and had his little basket in hand.  He found the first egg and opened it.  He discovered the candy and ate it.  It reminded me of the very first hunt with the Houston cousins.  All their kids were veterans and Connor was just barely a year and a half.  He also LOVED raisins.  So like good parents (and newbies) we put little boxes of raisins in his eggs.  He opened the first box, sat on the ground and started working on them.  We all know it takes a one year old about a week to eat just one little box.  So while he was happy as could be with his booty, the other kids ran circles around him grabbing as many eggs as possible.  Connor had no idea this was a contest.  The other mothers were somewhat horrified and immediately began grabbing eggs out of their kid’s baskets and giving them to Connor.  Well Connor thought this was awesome, while the kids were screaming about the unjust circumstances and redistribution of wealth. Connor honestly didn’t care either way, he’d have been happy with one box of raisins.

The following year we had a piñata.  If I hadn’t taken a hammer to the damn thing we’d still be swinging at it.  Don’t those people (technically us people, but I digress) know the point is for children to hit it 2 or three times and then it should blow up.  Anyway, we had a little 12 egg hunt and then the piñata.  Connor liked hitting it, but was even more excited when daddy cut a hole out of the bottom for the goods.

Now back to this year.  Connor goes out first, grabs an egg, sits, and eats the candy.  We say, “Connor go fill up your basket.”  Now Josie comes out, we say, “Josie, go get some eggs sweetheart.”  She goes straight to Connor’s basket and grabs an egg.  (Why did you rob banks Mr. Sutton? Because that’s where the money was).  Not too shabby for 17 months eh?  Connor sees what is going on and immediately goes to box her out.  Josie draws the charge.  We separate them; move them to different parts of the yard and the hunt is no longer a quest for quantity, but rather immediate gratification.  Connor gets to the point where he’s no longer even looking at what’s inside.  He just opens the egg and shoots it like a Jaeger bomb.  Josie needs help and picks the larger eggs, comes up to one of us, and says, “Help. Open.”  So the sugar rush goes on. 

Now it was time for cascarones (confetti eggs). The kids had a great time breaking the eggs over everyone’s head and watching all the confetti come out.  They are too young to be violent about this part of the program, but something tells me we are one or two years away from tears and a time out.

Since Nita’s brother’s birthday was so close to Christmas, they always made a big deal about separating it from Christmas, which I can certainly understand.  However, this was number 43 for me. Not too significant other than it being a prime number. But I couldn’t serve or eat cake during the Easter party.  I had to wait until the kids went to nap, woke up, and then we’d have a ceremony.  So I went into Mancave and turned on the Masters.  Mom came over and Connor woke up early (big shock, he had enough sugar to knock down a horse) and Connor helped make the cake.  Meanwhile Oosthuiszen had just made a double eagle from 260 yards and Mickelson was choking again.  They called me for the ceremony.  So I pushed pause, went outside while the kids sang “happy birthday” and I blew out my three candles. Connor and Josie also got a candle to blow out for fun.  We toasted, I chugged a small glass of champagne, and went back into Mancave to watch Bubba Watson bring me to tears.

All in all, really fun Easter, great birthday.  The kids loved the sugar fest, presents, and having everyone around.  In fairness I had already pre-purchased a couple of things that I wanted and claimed them as my early birthday presents, so that part was just fine.  Not that I think any one does, but don’t feel sorry for me, I’m doing just fine.  Sometimes, it’s the thrill of the hunt.

Lions and Tigers and Bears…oh my!

What a crazy adventure this week has been.  It started lightly enough on Friday with Nita and I volunteering at Connor’s preschool for Science day.  Nothing overly funny there other than Connor gravitating to whatever was the messiest station.  Saturday was expected to be exciting with an Elementary school carnival right behind mom’s house.  We went over early for breakfast and Connor was beside himself with excitement to go hit all the rides and activities…but bless his heart both he and Josie spiked a fever.  So he wore himself out pretty quickly and Josephine just wanted to be held inside the building.  The next day I flew to Denver for a conference to discover that: a) the Women’s final four was in Denver; b) Baylor was staying at my hotel (I’m pretty sure the entire city of Waco was there; c) the weather in Denver makes me realize that anyone worried about global warming may not understand the math.

When I landed in Denver it was 83 degrees. I walked to the convention center and did my booth time and then went to dinner with a couple of colleagues.  When we got done we asked for a cab and although only six blocks, it was hot and we were tired.  Our cab driver misspelled “Marriott” in the GPS, had no idea where it was (downtown city center, how can you be a downtown cabbie and not know the four major hotels within 3 blocks of the professional stadiums and convention center?) and to top it off took us down two one way streets…the wrong way!  Yes I felt like I turned into John Candy in a Devil outfit like in Planes, Trains and Automobiles.  That night it dropped to 42 degrees.  I walked to the convention center again, but this time with a heavy coat and gloves.  Many of the folks attending the conference were unprepared.  I was not.

Way back when I was a real road warrior, not a part timer like I am now, I had a trip to Albuquerque.  I figured New Mexico was hot and deserty.  I didn’t really figure it to by cold and mountainy.  It was.  I got off the plane and it was tolerable.  I got to my hotel and I bought a coat.  Since then I have always checked the five day forecast of my destination city.  I’d never thought about checking the connection city before, but I promise I will now.  Anyway I knew it was going to be cold, so I was prepared.  So finally, the day I was supposed to leave (Tuesday), I went out to meet my ride and there was a nice little dusting on the ground and we would be driving about 30 miles in a light snow.  So now it was 30 degrees.  From 83-30 in two days…how will our species survive?  J

So we spend an extra 40 minutes on the tarmac waiting to get de-iced and land in Dallas about a half hour after we were supposed to arrive.  As “luck” would have it, our flight to Austin was delayed just that amount of time.  So I rushed over to my gate and started boarding the plane.  The gate agent made the announcement: “Ladies and Gentlemen, please stow your items as quickly as possible, there is some ‘weather’ in the area and we are trying to push back as soon as possible to beat it.”  So we loaded hurriedly, but honestly it didn’t seem any faster than any other boarding.  About ¾ of the way through, they stopped us and asked us all to de-board the plane.  Apparently there was a storm cell nearby and we needed to let it go through…oh and to please stay away from all the windows and move toward the middle of the terminal.  So I went to my home away from home the admirals club.  I ordered a cocktail and a sushi roll.  I figured I needed to eat quickly since they’d be calling us back to the gate which was the furthest away from the club.

Just as I was putting my wasabi on my tuna roll, the alarm went off.  They asked if we could all please move to the rear of the club, we were evacuating to a stairway tunnel underneath the club (which I didn’t know existed).  Once down there we all kind of joked around but it got kind of stuffy.  We had one of the agents from the club with us and she opened an exit door.  I thought there might be an alarm, but instead, there was a big ole 737, just sitting there in front of us. I mean right there.  I’m pretty sure the FAA would have frowned on that.  Then the rain hit…then the hail hit.  Meanwhile everyone was taking pictures with their phones, facebooking, messaging, and checking the Doppler radar to see this storm cell that was just plain red.  Everyone truly is a citizen journalist now days aren’t they? There were tornados touching down in the DFW area and it was wreaking havoc on the metroplex. Eventually they let us back into the club, but advised us to stay away from the windows.

I kept getting text messages that our plane was delayed 30 minutes, every 15 minutes.  So now my 12:50 flight was scheduled for 5pm.  I told Nita that I was 50-50 for dinner.  I then checked the board when someone yelled, “everything’s cancelled!”  It said my plane was in final boarding.  Holy Sh*t.

For some crazy reason, I couldn’t sleep well last night. So I woke up around 1:30AM, did some work, finished my book, and went to the hotel gym and worked out.  I left for the Denver airport at 6AM to anticipate any traffic the snow might cause.  During the evacuation, I had to carry my luggage (with my big heavy coat) down and up four flights of stairs. 

Back to the story, when I saw the “final boarding” sign on the flight board, I sprinted to my gate. D40 is as far from the Admirals club as you can be while remaining in D gate by the way.  When I got there, it was not boarding…it was being cancelled.  Crap.  So I walked back to the club and the line to talk to the agents was about 40 people deep.  So I called the platinum desk and was on hold for 12 minutes.  Apparently other people also needed to get somewhere.  So in that 12 minutes I moved up about five spots and finally a nice agent answered.  She was able to get me on the last flight and first flight back to Austin, the 9:05 which was now scheduled for 10:05.  My long day has gotten longer and I’ve now had three workouts.  Also, when anxiety and adrenaline combine, once you calm yourself and accept your situation, the “tired” returns. So I had to walk up and down C terminal several times to stay alert. Yep, had to change terminals, but that was no biggie.

The reason for the mass shutdown was most of the planes on the ground when the storm hit got hail damage. And every single plane needed to undergo a full inspection.  Also, it isn’t like the airline has a hanger with 100 spare jets in it, so even the ones not in service which were exposed to the hail, had to be checked.  Finally, no new air traffic was coming in.  All the flights that were supposed to come in during the storm were rerouted to Tulsa, Oklahoma city and St. Louis. Thus creating a lack of inventory. So back to my last seat:  I went and ate some dinner and called Nita with the plan.  Now many of you are asking “why didn’t you rent a car?”  Well, many of the cars were already being rented and the traffic was crazy backed up.  I’m sure you can understand when tractor trailers are being tossed around, roofs are not where they are supposed to be, and other cars are overturned in streets and roadways that it might affect traffic.  I mean if it sprinkles lightly in Austin you can expect a 30 minute delay, can you imagine what a tornado might do?

So I am anxiously watching the board for the ONLY flight to Austin tonight and the status.  It keeps flashing delayed 10:05, but in my heart I knew it was going to cancel. All of the surrounding hotels were booked solid.  You also have to realize that with 90% of the flights cancelled and Dallas being a major airline hub (the DFW airport is actually larger in square footage/mileage than Manhatten), there were quite a few people displaced.  So I am planning on the possibility of sleeping on a cot in the Admirals club and then renting a car in the morning.  Remember I woke up at 1:30 AM and I’m pretty much on fumes.  As luck would have it, the flight didn’t cancel, I got home at 11PM and Nita came to pick me up.  I was too tired to even drive home.  I came and got the car this morning. 

I missed Connor’s first soccer tots try-out but was informed he did well.  I can’t wait to see. Nita and I went a few rounds on whether or not he was ready and the impact of his experience on his willingness to attempt future athletic endeavors, but that is for another blog.  I’m just glad I got home safely and that no one was hurt.  My heart went out to all the families I saw sleeping in the terminal, the kids who spent all day on a little indoor playscape that was intended to be not much more than a 1 or 2 hour distraction, and those folks who missed connections to vacations, cruises and the Masters.  So my tornado didn’t put me in Kansas or Oz, but I loved seeing my little munchkins this morning.