Christmas letter 2012

It was another big year at the Martinez household; Nita worked from home full-time, we put off the bathroom project, and we didn’t get the dog…yet.  We took a few trips and the kids grow up quick.  I hope you all had a wonderful year as well, so settle in, grab that cocoa, and let’s do this.

The Emerging Athlete.  As a year-round athlete since I was five, I have always been concerned about NOT pushing Connor too fast or too early.  In fact I’ve been trying to let him to want to play sports more than I want him to do it.  So I’ve exposed him to sports, but haven’t pushed at all.  Between flights from a trip Nita told me she signed him up for Soccer tots.  I almost threw up.  Not only was this not part of the plan, but to potentially blow the whole thing…by soccer no less.  Ugh. I asked how she got the idea and she said a couple of the ladies she likes from Connor’s school had signed up their kids.  Now both of them are from soccer-crazed countries and don’t realize no one in America cares about soccer.  In fact I think their kids were born with Arsenal and AC Milan jerseys as swaddling clothes. I was concerned Connor might get overwhelmed because we’ve NEVER kicked a soccer ball around the house.  Ever. Well the good news is I was able to make it to the third event and I laughed as all the other kids were kicking the ball and doing the drills and Connor was just running around aimlessly and doing his own thing.  Phew, disaster averted.

Pachina.  We read that children who know the correct anatomical names of their junk are far less likely to be abused.  The theory is that child predators use silly names that seem innocuous, even if the child potentially relays that information to the parents.  So we’ve been a “penis” and “vagina” family from the beginning.  The kids know what is what although; Josie pronounces it “PAH-china.”  So one day after a big rain storm the kids were out playing in puddles.  Connor was still in potty training mode and he said, “I’m going to put my penis in the puddle.”  Josie, not wanting to be outdone said, “I’m going to put my pachina in it” and started to lower herself into a squat into the puddle. Nita and I couldn’t stop laughing.  Also, if you leave a putt short at my golf club, be prepared to be called a “pachina.”

Easter.  Josie was six months old and Connor got to hit his first piñata last Easter. Two years ago, if you remember, we went to Houston. Connor opened his first Easter egg and sat on the grass with his box of raisins and just enjoyed his treat.  Connor has since taken a shine to sweets.  This year, both kids were mobile, and during the egg hunt, acted like homeless guys on bath salts.  Picture two little monsters running around pushing the other one out of the way diving for eggs. And there was no regard to what was inside the egg; just open it and shoot it like a Jaeger bomb. And when they locked eyes on the same egg, well to put it like my hockey neighbor would put it, it was like two “number ones” on the ice shaking their gloves.   But no one got hurt and they eventually went to sleep.  They both loved the cascarones (confetti eggs) and Easter was a success.

First Class.  During my business travels this year I found myself in Denver during the NCAA women’s basketball final four.  Anyway, for some reason I woke up at 2AM.  So I did a little work and then went to the gym.  It started snowing and I had a super early flight.  But I wasn’t worried; I had an easy two hop flight and would by home by 1pm.  So I waited on the tarmac while the plane was de-iced and we headed off to Dallas about 30 minutes late.  I had an easy 30 minutes to catch the next flight and ran over to my gate.  At this point the tornado warnings hit.  Our plane was told to de-board and move to the severe weather areas.  I went to the Admirals club for a cocktail and some lunch.  Surely this would blow over quickly.  Then the tornados hit.  We were evacuated into the stairwell under the club.  Then the hail hit.  I didn’t think about this at the time, but 200 planes were damaged and had to be inspected and all inbound traffic was rerouted.  DFW is one of the busiest airports in the world and well, there is no spare hanger with 200 planes in it to get back on track.  So the airport became a madhouse.  Ground traffic was snarled and all the rental cars had hail damage.  So the end of the story was my status got me booked on the last and ONLY flight to Austin that night….at 10pm.  I landed at 11 and was so out of bullets Nita had to come and picked me up.  If you are keeping score at home that is roughly 17 hours.  But I got home safely and that is the most important thing. Isn’t business travel sexy?

No dog to blame.  Josie started talking very early.  She has also learned that some actions get her in trouble and Josie does not like to be in trouble.  So one day while my mother was visiting (the kids call her Abuelita) Josie took off a poopy diaper.  Nita came around the corner and saw a naked baby running around and asked where her diaper was.  Josie showed her.  Then Nita noticed some poop on the floor.  She asked little Miss Josephine, “Josie, who did this?”  Josie said, “Abuelita.”  Nita asked again, “Josie, are you saying that Abuelita put poop on the floor?”  Without hesitating Josie said, “yes.” The force is strong with this one.

Illusion.  Nita’s mother and Connor have a bond in their love of dinosaurs.  Grandmother even has a stegosaurus song that they sing together.  So when the Dinosaurs flying dragons in 3D came to the IMAX it was a no brainer.  So we all got there and Connor had never experienced 3D before.  He was amazed.  At one point a Pterodactyl flew by and disappeared behind us.  Connor shouted (in a voice loud enough for the entire theater), “Dinosaur, come back here this instant!”  The crowd laughed.

The Beach.  Last Memorial Day we rented a friend’s beach house (actually the week before to beat the crowds). We drove both cars down and brought our nanny and the two grandmothers.  This year we did it again with two changes, a different sitter (mistake) and we rented an RV (awesome).  The RV was fantastic because we could all fit, eat, use the restroom, nap, etc. and never stop moving.  We were able to use it as a base of operation at the beach as well.  Got to use the bathroom, need a snack, get out of the sun?  On the bus with you.  Also, we could pack a lot more food to bring instead of buying island food at twice the price.  We had a great time.  Connor, being the water bug that he is, hopped off the RV and ran straight into the surf.  He played for hours in the shallows and chased seagulls until he couldn’t run anymore.  Josie loved it too, but had one bad experience. While feeding seagulls, or more watching them get fed, one swooped down and stole her peanut butter cracker and a little piece of her finger as well.  She was not pleased with the seagull.  She still talks about that mean old gull that bit her finger and stole her cracker.  One of the cutest parts was at the Texas state aquarium. There was one tank where just Connor and Josie were looking at some fish.  Connor was pointing out certain fish and telling Josie the names of them.  “That one is a fishy fish,” he’d say.  He was making up names which made it even cuter and Josie’s grin was ear to ear.  She is his human shadow and she loves her some big brother. 

Hotels. Our kids travel very well and it works out great.  Nita had a business trip to make to Houston and suggested we all go.  Since I’m kind of a road warrior anyway, I obliged.  I do my work in hotel rooms all the time.  So off we went.  We stayed in a nicer hotel than normal and let me just say that the kids like hotels.  The valet parking, room service, the cookies, the indoor/outdoor pool, the concierge room, yep, they’re spoiled.  I remember traveling with my buddy Omar when he was first starting out on the golf mini-tours.  Once we stayed in room with a queen, a murphy bed, and it had two, count them TWO phones.  We thought that was pretty swanky back then, even with four of us in the room.  Hopefully when we go camping someday they won’t ask for turndown service.  What? No chocolate on the sleeping bag? Connor literally cried when we left and demanded that we go back to the hotel.

Halloween.  It has always been fun for us.  Year 1, Connor was a little Dracula.  Year 2, Thomas the train with Josie t minus 10 days.  Last year we did the family Shrek thing with Nita as Fiona, Josie as donkey, and Connor as the most awesome puss in boots.  This year we’d talked about the Wizard of Oz.  The problem was Connor started drifting from the plan and mentioning that he’d like to be Toto.  Well, to keep a long story short, Nita and I argued about whether or not Toto was a prop or not and when the dust settled, Connor decided to be the Lion and saved the day.  I was the tin man, Nita was an awesome scarecrow, and Josie was the MOST adorable Dorothy.  And I’m not exaggerating.  She was jaw-dropping cute.  Normally Connor gets the (no pun intended) lion’s share of the compliments because he has red hair, green eyes, and is a good looking boy (I blame Nita).  So good looking that when we go out, old people come out of their blow chairs to touch his face and give him compliments.  Josie would get some head pats and an occasional cheek-pinch.  But when she put on the Dorothy costume she transformed.  She was the belle of the ball and she ate it up.  I’m not sure, but it may have changed her a little (plus she turned two).  But ever since no matter where we go, the store, the mall, golf club…even with Connor in tow, she has been getting a LOT of compliments.  Connor still gets his, don’t get me wrong he didn’t turn John Merrick on us, but I guess Josie went from baby to little girl.  Stop it time, just stop it!

The Fourth Floor.  Nita had her 15^th annual 25^th birthday this year and had a nice little spa day with some girlfriends with some dinner out afterwards. Mom came over to babysit and put the kids to bed.  Well Nita was running late and I was getting flustered about the reservations and mom didn’t park where she normally parks…and well I backed into her car. Like a good neighbor…

Birthday. Once again we had the combination birthday with the petting zoo.  The delight of the eleven year old across the street tells me this could last quite a while for us.  Connor turned four and Josie turned two.  This year I finally relaxed and enjoyed the party.  For four years now I have either been taking pictures, watching to make sure no one got hurt, or trying to save animals from being crushed.  This year Nita brilliantly hired a little high school girl who is a photography student to come take pictures for us.  She did an unbelievable job.  Also, I asked the zoo keeper guy if they ever lose animals.  He said, “Very rarely, they’re probably safer here with all these kids than going for a drive with you in the car statistically.”  (Did someone tell him about mom’s car?)  “Plus, they’re about fifty cents a pound.”  So I exhaled and this year I enjoyed the party. And it was really fun.  Last year, Josie did not like the pony ride.  This year she did it three times grinning ear to ear.  Josie did learn the improper way to handle a bunny and got a couple of pretty big scratches on her hand.  To her credit, after she cried and momma held her for a bit, she was back in the pen playing with bunnies and ducks.  She even bottle fed a baby goat.  Connor showed his fearlessness once again and had a fun time in the pen.  Then while they were putting the animals up, we transitioned everyone to the Playscape part of the back yard. Connor was having so much fun, he didn’t alert anyone he had to go pee.  He didn’t wet himself; instead he just dropped trousers and went right there.  But luckily he turned to face everyone.  Yep, everyone got a shot of Connor’s little pink cobra. So Connor is potty trained, yay.

Thanksgiving with The Italians.  This year we rented a van and loaded up the kids and grandmothers and off we went.  We checked into a small hotel and instead of separate suites, we got a two bedroom suite.  That too was too much fun.  When you get to an Italian Thanksgiving, let’s just say if you leave hungry or thirsty, you’ve no one to blame but yourself.  There is food, food, food, and then enough sweets to make Connor and Josie look like, well do you remember that scene in Silence of the Lambs where Lector’s face is covered in blood and he has this evil satisfied look on his face?  That look.  Anyway, it was great, we watched football, talked politics, ate food, while Connor and Josie just played with their cousins.  It was a great time.  Then back at the hotel we settled in and the grandmothers were in one bedroom, Nita and I were in another and we put both kids on the pull-out couch.  This was interesting because they’d never slept together in the same bed before.  Even at the coast they each had their own bed.  So in the morning Nita and I heard them talking to each other.  It was the sweetest little four and two year old conversation.  Josie was saying that mommy and daddy were coming right back and Connor said, “No Josie, we are going to stay here for a LOOOOOONG time.”  Josie said, “No, no, we are coming back right now.” (You have to do it in their voices for it to work).  Then they started talking about Halloween monsters.  Josie mentioned “calacas” (skeleton in Spanish) while Connor corrected her and said that everyone calls them skeletons.  Josie said, “Not Abuelita.”  This may have been our best family Thanksgiving yet.

SuperTramp. We all know I’m the overprotective type, but I relented and bought Connor and Josephine a little trampoline.  He loves to watch shows and jump while doing it.  It also helps in the transition to new tasks and for those of you with younger kids it is a great tool for redirection.  In any case, as the whole “gangnam style” thing has blown up, so has Connor’s love for it.  He’ll watch the video 10 times and do the dance on his trampoline.  I made a little video of it and threw it on FB.  So for the 800 Million hits the video got, put Connor down for a couple of hundred.  We took the kids to the mall for a little train ride just before we printed this and there was one of those bungee trampolines.  Connor did it for a couple of minutes and then wanted down.  Josie went as high as it would go and kept saying “higher!”  It isn’t quite settled, but I have a feeling Connor is going to be a Veterinarian and Josie will be on a Div I athletic scholarship.  Oh, and I’m now hopelessly addicted to a British soap opera.  Thanks Omar and Pete.

Martinez & Martinez. I have noticed that consistency of discipline seems to be my job.  And fundamentally, I’m okay with it.  The thing that gets me (I hope you dads are still reading by now), is whenever I’m trying to lay down the law, either my mother or Nita comes to Connor’s defense.  I tell them, “He doesn’t need a lawyer.”  They ignore me and prepare his defense for him, sometimes with exhibits. Four against one is this really my future? I guess when they turn on mommy, she’ll come back around …right?

A&M in the SEC with a Heisman winner, Texas with their new network…it really was a shame that we couldn’t play the best rivalry in football this year.  But it taught me a lesson about grudges.  I choose to let them go more now than I used to, and forgive easier.  So with that, we’d like to wish all of you a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year.  May your families be blessed, have fun, and enjoy the little things.  Time keeps moving and only the memories last.  May God Bless you all.

Home for the holidays

Way back in the day, I used to call this stretch of year “relationship season.”  The theory was that you needed a girlfriend starting on Halloween and ending on Valentine ’s Day.  In between there was: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s.  Really St. Patty’s day is more of a single holiday.  Now my life is way different being married with children.  And to throw in some more fun into the season, we have the birthdays of my mother, mother-in-law, wife, son, daughter, and brother-in-law’s all littered in October, November, and December.  Throw in a few kids parties and you have a constant supply of cake and presents going on.  First we’ll start with Halloween.

We almost lost control of the situation, but were able to get it back. Connor loves animals and has been pretending to be every single animal the crocodile hunter eh, well, hunts.  Yes every morning our bed becomes a “habitat” for Komodo dragons, lizards, snakes, etc.  So when Nita asked him what he wanted to be, he said “Toto.”  Nita and I did not agree on this.  She said he loved dogs and loved pretending to be a dog.  I said fine, but in the Wizard of Oz the dog is a prop, not a character.  I won’t go into detail as to how far this went, but we finally got our cover shot and Connor loved being the lion.  Josie was never in doubt about what she would be.  In fact when Nita found her little Dorothy costume it even came with Toto in a basket (like a prop).  Anyhoo, it was fun and Josie got tons of compliments.  Nita even found her some ruby slippers and red hair ties.  This was the first time that Josie got more compliments than Connor…ever.  The other awesome thing was the lion head for Connor actually matched his hair, it really was perfect.  Afterwards we got home and Connor found the makeup kit, and decided to finger paint.  Let’s just say that if we weren’t planning a bathroom remodel, I would not have been pleased.

Then came Nita’s birthday on the Dia de los Muertos. At my request Many of Nita’s friends and family sent me little video clips wishing her a happy birthday.  Some were short and sweet, some were rap songs, some regular songs, some included slot machines, props, some re-enacted dates from our past, a ukulele, cupcakes and candles.  All were appreciated. I compiled them into a single video and played it for her when she woke up.  She was blown away.  Then she headed off to a spa day with some girlfriends.  I got the kids to school and then promptly spent the next six hours doing chores that she would normally have done.  We then headed out for a nice dinner when BANG!!!  Yep, I backed into my mother’s car in the driveway.  She’d been bringing the golf cart lately but that was in the shop and I just forgot it was there.  So there’s that.  The good news is no one was injured and we got the cars back today.

A&M beats Alabama.  Are you shitting me?!  Honestly I hoped that we’d get bowl eligible (six wins for those of you keeping score at home).  And before the season I kind of figured where we’d win and where we’d lose.  In my preseason exercise I had A&M needing wins in the last two games to get to six, maybe seven.  Never in my wildest prognostications did I consider this scenario, ever!  And Johnny F. Football.  Wow!  If we go back and read this blog 10-20 years from now, it’ll be “remember the JFF years?”  This kid is a once in a lifetime type of player, wow. Oh and Josie turned two.

The next day was the kids joint birthday party.  Okay okay, I know! I did it on purpose.  But seriously, Josie will have a birthday every year; we may never beat Alabama again.

Okay, so the next day was the kid’s joint birthday party with full on petting zoo and pony rides.  This year I let go a little bit.  We’ve done this for four years now and I have either been taking pictures, watching to make sure no one got hurt, or trying to save animals from being crushed.  This year Nita brilliantly hired a little high school girl who is a photography student to come take pictures for us.  She did an unbelievable job and took about 500 shots and that’s actually not an exaggeration.  Also, I asked the zoo keeper guy if they ever lose animals.  He said, “Very rarely, they’re probably safer here with all these kids than going for a drive with you in the car statistically.”  (Did someone tell him my car was in the shop?)  “Plus, they’re about fifty cents a pound.”  So I exhaled this year and just enjoyed the party. And it was really fun.  Connor loved the pony ride and Josie did as well.  Last year, Josie did not like the pony ride.  This year she did it three times.  Josie did learn the improper way to handle a bunny and got a couple of pretty big scratches on her hand.  To her credit, after she cried and momma held her for a bit, she was back in the pen playing with bunnies and ducks.  She even bottle fed a baby goat.  Connor showed his fearlessness once again and had a fun time in the pen.  Then while they were putting the animals up, we transitioned everyone to the back yard where the playscape was. Connor was having so much fun, he didn’t alert anyone he had to go pee.  He didn’t wet himself; instead he just dropped trou and went right there.  But luckily he turned to face everyone.  Yep, everyone got a shot of Connor’s little pink cobra.  My boy.

I mentioned that last part on Facebook and a friend sent me a link to an article about a family that got a ticket for a 3 year old boy peeing in the front yard.  I mentioned that I’d probably have been arrested for peeing on the ticket.  I’m all about law and order, but sometimes absurdity must be treated with absurdity.  But alas, it was all just good clean fun.  Then the cupcakes came out, songs were sung, and our guests went home.  Connor and Josie had a blast opening their presents and I can honestly say I have now been to my first tea party.  Josie got a cute little tea set and poured me a cup just before her nap.  My girl.

More transitions coming for the kids.  This week, we “send the pacifiers to the ‘papa’ fairy” so other babies can use them.  You see Josie is 2 and therefore a big girl now.  The papa fairy will bring a gift and everyone wins.  Connor’s actual birthday is coming up just before Thanksgiving and he’s already preparing for black Friday.  Yesterday he and Nita went through a catalog of “things he needs.”  Nita mentioned that maybe he could ask Santa.  At that moment he asked Nita to grab pen and paper to write a letter to Santa on his behalf.  It was a very long and complete list.  We might be spoiling that one.  Josie meanwhile is just happy with everything.  She gets the benefit of every toy we’ve ever bought Connor plus her special ones.  So I guess we’re spoiling her as well. 

Finally Nita taught Josie to sing “somewhere over the rainbow” and she is just a little hoot.  Her vocabulary is huge and her sentence structure is pretty amazing for her age.  Meanwhile Connor picked up the “happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo” song from Madagascar complete with the monkey spit take and the smell-the-armpit fall.  So there’s that.

When perspective slaps you in the face

I’ve been dreading writing this blog and if you’ve noticed it’s been a few weeks instead of my normal weekly clip.  First before anyone freaks out; Nita, the kids, them mom’s and I are all still healthy, employed, etc.  But I did lose a friend a couple of weeks ago.  Due to some circumstances that don’t really matter anymore I hadn’t spoken with him for quite some time and I even avoided him in some cases.  This isn’t like the normal “we grew apart” or “didn’t have time to connect” issues that many of us experience.  This guy was a hair-on-fire-10-miles-a-minute kind of person.  And he drew you in to whatever he was up to.  I don’t regret any portion of our friendship and am glad he is at peace.  But the main reason I cried and cried and cried was his legacy.

You see JD was a once in a lifetime kind of soul.  He was so brilliant, so funny, good looking, had a great father, good friends, everything.  He had a good family, good job, and was a pretty good golfer and card player.  But the thing that got me was how many people loved and supported him and how he could slip away from all of that.  As a parent of the two most brilliant and beautiful children on the planet (I’m sure some of you may object but this is my blog) I have this master plan on how to guide them to success.  I even wrote Connor an 11 page manifesto on “how to be a man” while he was still resting comfortably in Nita’s tummy.  I have thought about the proper balance of God, work, study, effort, discipline, fun, silliness, self-effacing humor, and athletics. 

I included paragraphs on how to be a good friend, how to show respect, and how to stay on the correct path in the face of bad influences.  It is very logical, I think pretty well thought out, and not antiquated.  It does embrace old fashioned values, but in a 21^st century sort of way.  And then the funeral.  It was at that moment I realized that although I can arm Connor and Josie with all the tools, advice, guidance, and even a treasure map to success…I can’t guarantee anything.  You can only pray that it all “takes” and they choose wisely.  Now I’m not stupid enough to think that they would do everything I said or follow my logic to the letter into always choosing the right decision.  Heck I can’t even get them to do that at 4 and 2 and I lost Nita years ago; and honestly I don’t even take my own advice all the time. But I was hoping that with enough of that proper alignment that it would at least be directionally correct.  By the way as a funny aside, it isn’t just me that has a strategy for the kids.  Nita has a “bangs” strategy for Josie.  Yes you read that correctly no need to go back.  I suggested that since Josie’s hair is always in her face and we have to use clips or pig tails that we cut the front.  Nita looked at me like I was from Mars and then calmly explained her “bangs strategy.”  I had no idea there was such a thing.

I lost my golf swing a few months ago.  I mean gone, really bad.  What happened was I had a few injuries and just played through them.  Then with the wind and tournaments and other stuff I just started shortening things up and flattening them out.  I was just looking for something that would do.  As time went on and I repeated these bad habits it just came to a crescendo.  I needed help.  So I started on my lessons and realized that my swing had hit bottom.  The funny thing is I’d always been able to visualize my swing and make some corrections that would get me back to where I needed to be.  I think the funeral actually gave me the peace to accept someone else’s help.

Maybe that is the best lesson from the whole thing.  There are times in your life when you need help, we all do.  Who among us offers it to our friends and family?  Who among us accepts it for the gift that it is?  I love that both my kids want to do things on their own as they struggle for identity and independence.  Josie is the queen of refusing help and shouting, “I want to do it, I don’t need help daddy, I want to do it.”  Whereas Connor (who’d already been through that stage) is more apt to say, “Can you please help me daddy, I need help.”  I’m thoughtful on when I do and don’t help, knowing that sometimes learning from failure is more valuable than learning from watching the correct technique. 

I know my friend had some issues and we all wanted to help but it just didn’t work out.  I know it made me look at my own life a little differently and certainly my children.  It made me want to be more patient with my wife and friends and maybe not demand as much perfection as I normally do.  In case some of you were not at my wedding or my father’s funeral, I delivered a line from my father at both.  “Excellence is a state of becoming, never a state of being.”  So his gift was to never be satisfied with current state because you can always be better.  And I guess it has served me well over the years, but I may have unfairly applied it to others.  So I’m looking out for that.

Enough of that.  Halloween is a few days away and Connor and Josie have begged us to take them riding around the neighborhood daily to see all the displays our neighbors have put up.  They are really excited about the candy, costumes, and trick or treating.  For the last month we’ve had to tell Halloween stories for bed time.  Not SAW IV stories, just cute little Casper and trick or treat stories.  But you’ll see when all the pictures come in. Also, both the mom's birthdays were in October (photo shoot for Nita's mother). Nita’s birthday is coming up this week and the kids on the following two weeks.  There are lots of cupcakes in my future.  Oh and Connor can do the Gangnam Style dance.  Perhaps a video may show up on FB sometime soon.

 

Where do Babies Come From?

Well it wasn’t exactly that, but it was pretty funny nonetheless.  Before I go there I want to come right out and say what a bad daddy and husband I was this weekend.  I played in a fancy member guest golf tournament that included an open bar all around the course. Let’s just say that if we’d have been handicapped by consumption we’d have run away with the title.  But we weren’t…and we didn’t so there’s that.  But a good time was had by all and even though we went from second to sixth, not a single bad word was said to the other.  To the golf ball, the hole, the course, trees, bunkers, hazards, etc. there were plenty of bad words. But to my partner, there were none.  Good times.

While Nita was cooking dinner I walked in the kitchen and there was Connor holding the absolutely sharpest knife we own.  I freaked out.  Nita thinks I over reacted.  He’s 4.  Almost.  He should certainly not be holding a santoku knife.  About seven years ago we had what we called the “Jambalaya incident.”  You see Nita makes an awesome jambalaya.  So she was at the island dicing the onions when all of a sudden as I’m washing some vegetables…By the way, this was still before kids.  Back then we used to cook in the kitchen together and laugh and leisurely talk about our day.  We’d drink a glass of wine while prepping dinner and a 1 or 2 hour meal prep was no big deal.  Now, well you know if you have kids.  If I’m at the dinner table and I want to tell Nita something about work and it happens to be a five minute story, it takes 12 because we usually have to get someone more milk and or read “Goodnight Goon” the latest Halloween book in between stories.

Anyway, back to the dicing.  So there’s Nita cutting away and I heard a loud and distressed, “Oh No.”  I was an EMT so I immediately took her to the sink and started pouring cold water to check the depth of the cut.  Nita (before childbirth) was kind of squeamish about blood and that type of stuff and didn’t want me to touch her wound, much less assess and dress it.  So off we went to the emergency room.  When we got to the Doctor and told him what happened Nita asked, “What do you think?”  He joked, “I think you need sharper knives, this finger should have come off.”  So we got sharper knives.

And here is Connor with the sharpest one of them in his almost four year old hands.  Nita still thinks I over reacted, but hey man; I have a few basic jobs.  Keep them out of prison, keep them out of the hospital, teach them right from wrong, kill bugs, fix non-plumbing items around the house, and make them great athletes.  There is some character and scholarly well rounding in there, but that is for both of us.  If my tombstone reads, “He over reacted his way to awesome kids” I can live with that.

So while at dinner we’re just talking about school and Halloween and Connor notices our little video picture frame.  He sees a baby picture and asks, “Mommy how was I born?”  Nita proceeded to tell Connor about carrying him for 9 months in her tummy and then going to the hospital and then pushing and then out came Connor.  He then asked about Josie and we repeated the story.  Then he asked about me.  So being adopted I told him about the same story until the end when I said, “And then my mommy said, ‘I can’t take care of this baby.’  But right then Abuelita said, ‘I’ll take him and I’ll love him and care for him and raise him as my own baby.’”  Connor seemed somewhat impressed with the drama.  He then asked, “Mommy, how were you born.”  I said, “Her story is much less impressive.”  We all laughed while Nita said, “DUDE!”  Then he asked how Abuelita was born.  Mom told a story about her brother running over to get the midwife in her village and then really described foot positions and the spanking to get the air flowing.  Connor’s eyes were as big as oranges. 

I then had the idea of showing the kids their birth videos.  (No not the head out video, the first minutes).  So first was Connor’s clean up, temperature check and eye gel.  He was so teeny tiny.  He cried and shivered.  Connor was CAPTIVATED as was Josie.  We asked if he wanted to turn it off and he said he wanted to keep watching.  Then we showed the video of Connor meeting Josie for the first time.  That too was adorable.  Connor kept pointing to Josie and looking at her and saying, “That’s you Josie, that is little Josie when you were a baby.”  It was a pretty cute night.  I’ll have to re-read this someday when they get in a fist fight or are at each other’s throats for something. 

We usually tell stories during dinner or read books and the kids just love the adventures.  It was funny because when we were first married, we ate in front of the TV all the time.  We’d watch movies or get into a TV series or both.  We joked that when we had kids we hoped to have at least one night a week at the dinner table with no TV.  Now it’s the exact opposite.  Every night is at the dinner table and once every couple of weeks we’ll do a “fun family movie night” where we’ll watch a Disney movie and eat pizza in ManCave.  I hope this lasts for a while.  A few of my favorite people are about to have babies in the next few months.  One is a vet the others are brand new.  I’m not offering any advice other than one thing that has helped me.  I love hearing the stories from veteran parents.  If for no other reason than I can anticipate those events and play it out in my head how I would handle it when it came to be my turn.  So enjoy the blog new parents, plan accordingly, and don’t let them play with knives.

Cha cha cha changes

In case this ends up in a time capsule of some sort, yesterday will go down in history as the day the scabs hit the tipping point.  Remember back in 1987 when the NFL locked out the players and they started the football season with “scab” players?  Well the NFL referees are locked out and the blown call at the end of the Green Bay vs. Seattle game may go down as one of the biggest blown calls in the history of Monday Night Football.  Now I’m probably a little bitter because I was talked into playing fantasy football (which I had successfully avoided for 16 years) for the first time and I find myself sweating out games that under normal circumstances I wouldn’t give two shits about.  I remember about 8 years ago my buddy Pete asked me to name 12 quarterbacks in the NFL.  I did, but it wasn’t easy.  Now I can pretty much give the top 5 position players on all 32 teams.  I’m not proud of that, by the way, you all know how competitive I am.

As a funny aside to the paragraph above, I was in man cave sweating out the game last night while Connor and Nita were watching a spitting cobra episode of Crocodile hunter.  After the 200^th sack of Aaron Rodgers I shouted, “Mother F@#$%^.”  Nita came in the room and said, “Connor heard your little outburst and said, ‘Mommy, Daddy is calling you.’”  That actually made me laugh so hard I was crying.  I really have been watching my language in the house but I thought Connor had already gone to bed.  My bad.

Connor has grown into a booster chair now.  Yep, he’s riding tall using a real seatbelt.  And his new little booster is pretty slick.  It has movable arm rests and two cup holders.  He is very sweet about it too.  Josie will ask if she can put her sippy cup in his holder and he always agrees to do it.  Oh, and two pretty scary events happened yesterday. By the way was there a full moon or something?  What is up with Yesterday and this morning?  Anyway, Connor ended up in our bed last night.  I figured he’d gotten scared or something and Nita brought him downstairs to settle him down, but when she discovered him in the bed she took him back upstairs and tucked him in.  Apparently, my adorable son can unlock the baby gate at the top of the stairs now.  And he did just that and came down the stairs in the middle of the night.  Normally he gets to the top and calls for one of us and then Nita goes up and settles him down.  This is a new twist.

Now for those of you who have been to the house, you know our staircase.  It is charming, but probably the most dangerous staircase available.  To make things worse, when we did the hardwood floors, we also did the stairs. In fact when Connor was first learning to walk up the stairs and Pete would come by; he’d hold his breath every time he got about half way up.  Pete said, “My heart just stops right at the turn where it starts to narrow.” 

A couple of years ago, Nita went to go check on Connor in the middle of the night and missed the last step and took a little tumble. So I went out and bought some glow in the dark tape.  You know like the stuff that they use on stages for marking your spot in the dark?  And actually my mom took a little tumble leaving our house through the garage and cracked a rib just before we flew down to the Valley a couple Christmas’ back.  So I put the tape on the bottom seven steps and made a little runway for mom in the garage in case she didn’t turn the light on.  This morning Connor wasn’t talking too much about why he came down the stairs or how it went (he does kind of sleep walk a little too), so I’m not sure if he used the tape as a guide or not.  All I know is I’m a little freaked out about it and need to put an extra stopgap on the gate.

This morning Josie was nice enough to show me how she’s learned to climb up into her crib all by herself.  She does it by pulling herself up, using her rail and mattress as footholds and then launching herself headfirst over the rail onto the mattress.  She laughs as she catches herself with her hands and head and then flips on her side.  Yes I visualize her next move all too clearly.  So we have to ask if it is time for a princess bed (lower to the ground of course), or do we try to reason with a 2 year old and convince her that it is dangerous to climb on furniture (while watching brother bounce from item to item like the ground was a crocodile infested moat).  So there is that. 

Josie’s vocabulary and thought progression is taking huge strides.  In addition to singing songs and general parroting, she is really focusing on connecting dots.  For example, she’s crazy into Halloween right now and one of the books she wants read (about five times in a row) is the “Clifford’s first Halloween book.”  There is a page where Clifford (the big red dog) gets some bones from a neighbor while trick or treating with Emily.  Josie thinks that a skeleton must have given him the bones because skeletons have bones. 

This weekend a dear old friend got married and we brought Connor to the reception.  Well, he found the dessert bar and after 20 peanut M&Ms, some Reece’s pieces, and a few gummy bears, Connor transformed into Tony Manero and lit up the dance floor.  His best move is to run around in circles until he gets dizzy and then fall down.  We used to force pledges to do that, I’m guessing he won’t need much prodding if that comes up in his future.  Josie also knows this move and last night while mommy was finishing up dinner we had a little dance party complete with percussion instruments in the formal living room.  It was pretty fun.  The kids are growing up so fast it blows my mind.  I’m not sure I’m ready for all the cha cha cha cha changes.  One change I am ready for is the old NFL refs.  Y’all come back now ya hear!

Three times the fun

Our house was built in the Seventies and aside from the sunken living room and a few other kitschy things it’s pretty normal.  The original owners did put a lot of shrubbery and jasmine around the base of the house and occasionally it has an effect.  For example, recently after big rains, like heavy flash flooding rains, one of the air conditioning drain pipes clog.  Then it shuts off and we have to clean it out, etc.  This time we decided, time for a permanent solution.  We’re going to dig a little French drain and let the water run off and remove the dirt so no mud can just float in and clog the pipe.  So I stopped by Lowes, bought a small (Connor-sized) shovel and some pea gravel.  Now the Connor-sized shovel was due to the confined work space I had to work in between the house and the shrubs.  I didn’t realize it was foreshadowing.

Now we have a few rules around the house, one of which is: Connor plays with toys not with tools.  Connor has his own fisher price tools and is not allowed to play with daddy’s.  I’d be horrified if he was swinging a hammer around and the human shadow (Josie) came up and caught one in the eye socket.  At the same time Connor has flipped the bet.  So remember in last year’s Christmas letter when I said Josie was winning?  Well she still does show more interest in playing catch than Connor does, but he is a REALLY good boy and she decided not to merely dip her toe into the terrible twos, she did a cannon-ball with a LOT of splash.  So I’m actually tired of being the “no-police” for Connor when he’s a really well-mannered boy about 99% of the time, okay 95%. 

So Connor sees all the stuff in my trunk and starts helping me unload the stuff.  He asks about the shovel, “What are you going to do daddy?”  I tell him I’m going to dig a French drain.  On cue he says, “Can I help.”  This time I say, “Sure buddy, go grab that shovel.”  He lights up like a Christmas tree and runs to get the tool.  I start digging up the channel and Connor is helping me by holding the tools.  About two chops into the dirt I hit a pretty intricate root system from the holly bushes.  I tell Connor we’re going to need an axe.  “An AXE?!” He squeals.  One more tangent.  Remember we’ve been talking about the Wizard of Oz for a couple of years.  To try to get him refocused on the main characters we bought a little plastic axe at the Halloween store.  He’s been chopping stuff around the house for about 2 weeks now and has been begging to chop down a tree.  I told him, “Don’t worry son you’ll get your tree.” 

If you were with me back about 8 or 9 months ago I wrote a blog about going to dinner with two friends and I’d just watched Where the Red Fern Grows.  I told the other couple we’d gone with that in one scene the boy has to cut down a tree that he promised his dogs that he’d cut down if they ever “treed a raccoon.”  It happened to be the largest tree in Appalachia.  As the parents went to check on him the local judge happened along and made the comment, “I guess every boy ought to have a tree like that to cut down at least once in his life.”  In my opinion, I think we all need a big test where it would be easy to quit, but instead we push through and persevere.  We challenge ourselves and find that something that we weren’t quite sure we had, but then we know if we ever need it again we can get it.  Great coaches push their players to find that confidence.  It’s those moments that allow us to overcome adversity in our adult lives. 

So I started rethinking the Axe thing because at that moment I knew I wasn’t going to have a casual bystander.  Luckily Nita was putting Josie down for a nap at this time so I only needed one extra set of eyes.  I grabbed a hoe and some long pruning cutters and started on my trench.  Connor would ask for whatever tool I didn’t happen to be using at the time.  About 2 minutes into the project, I knew I needed to give him a job and it couldn’t be trivial, this was as much his project as it was mine.  So there I went digging around Connor and letting him help clip the roots and shovel out loose dirt.  Of course when you are doing any project with an almost 4 year old, it is not a well-organized, seamless job.  It’s kind of like herding cats…in the rain…next to a pond. 

Anywho, Connor is loving each instruction he’s given and is even pointing out what a good listener he is.  “See daddy, you asked for the cutters and I gave them to you right away.”  We’ve been working on following instructions the first time around the house.  It’s nice to see that taking off.  Anyway, after about 45 minutes the hole is half dug we’re both sweaty and Connor can’t wait to show mommy what a great job we did.  “Look mommy, we’re doing some hard work!”  A friend came over and said, “Hey buddy someone vandalized your car.”  “What do you mean,” I answered? “They left some work gloves on your hood.”  I guess it has been a while since anyone has seen me do some manual labor, but I still got it. J  So I’ll finish it up today and get some pea gravel down but it sure was fun doing the project and watching Connor just eat it all up.  Towards the end, I was remembering a bunch of projects my dad and I did together when I was little and how I loved to help him.  I remember fixing our little tractor, roofing, changing the oil, plugs, and other car stuff (back when people worked on their own cars). 

I sure do hope that Connor and I find hundreds of more projects to do together.  It really was fun and it’ll keep me sharper.  Josephine too.  Don’t get me wrong I’d love for her to be a little flowery princess.  But I also hope that girl wants to grab a hammer and build a dog house, put up a fence or something like that with us someday.  You know get some dirt under your nails kind of stuff, even if it takes three times longer.

Don’t blink.

It is probably the most common advice any parent gives any new parent.  Of all the tips about sleeping when the baby sleeps, and infant acid reflux, toilet training, etc., “Don’t blink” is by far the one we heard the most.  And WOW are these kids growing up fast.  Yesterday we took Connor and Josie to Hope Presbyterian for their first day of fall preschool.  Now this is Connor’s third fall and Josie’s first.  The ladies who were Connor’s first teachers have been watching Josie from newborn to yesterday with anticipation for her to be in class.  It was the sweetest thing when Mrs. Michelle saw Josie, extended her arms and said, “Give me that beautiful girl.  I’ve been waiting almost two years for you.”  Then she hugged her tightly and Josie’s smile was as big as could be.  After class Michelle said that Josie talked non-stop. 

Connor’s first day was equally impressive.  He walked in and the teacher said, can you find your cubby and put your back pack in it?  Connor identified his name and put away his little back pack.  He told us about the books they read, who he played with, and how his day went.  This is the same little boy who had to bring his lovie and pacifier with him.  Wow, where did the time go.  I still remember taking the picture of a pregnant Nita walking Connor in his little froggy rain galoshes to his first day of school.  Was that really two years ago?

One of the requirements of preschool for Connor was being potty trained.  Now the funny thing is Josie has been watching Connor’s potty training and all the positive attention he’s been getting.  So guess what?  She has decided she wants to sit on the potty like a “big girl.”  The problem or rather funniest thing is she doesn’t want the little seat cheater.  Since Connor doesn’t use one, she doesn’t need one either.  I obviously am not going to post a picture of this, but imagine a little 22 month old girl straddling an adult large-mouth toilet seat hanging on for dear life trying to do her little business.  Now I know she is only trying to double the treat production for her and Connor.  But I appreciate both her effort in trying to go potty and her connecting the dots that going potty means getting treats.  If she could somehow be out of diapers by the time our cruise rolls around next year, well that would be something. 

I started a website to share pictures and videos the day Connor was born and it has been pretty fun to go back and see what Connor was doing at a certain age compared to Josie.  Now to be fair Josie loves to mimic Connor and wants to do what he is doing.  But there are some things that Connor hasn’t shown her, but he did at her age.  For example Bat races.  It is basically spinning around until you get dizzy and fall down.  Josie has been doing this for a few weeks; Connor discovered this and was taped on September 19, 2010.  I even got to make the same joke.  “Daddy usually spends $50 on bourbon for that feeling.”  In any case, Josie was doing it just before dinner and was having a blast.  She is now running through the house at all opportunities.  No more casual walking, she’s got someplace to be. 

Halloween is going to be interesting.  Josie is FASCINATED with it.  She wants me to tell her stories about it constantly.  My hunch is that she likes both dressing up and candy and Halloween seems like the perfect intersection of the two.  She is also a little wishy-washy in that she keeps changing her mind on what she wants to be for Halloween.  I have this incredible feeling that we’ll have two 2T costumes this year.  Plus Nita has lost control of the situation.  I had been steering the kids into the Wizard of Oz.  Now we all know there are four main characters.  Dorothy, Lion, Scarecrow, and Tin man, right?  Well, so far, Josie wants to be Glenda the good witch and Connor wants to be Toto.  Come on!  How do you mess this up!  We went to a costume store last weekend and bought Connor an axe.  So I’m trying to re-groom him for one of the main guys.  But that means that my dumb ass will probably get stuck in a lion suit.  Oh well, it’s all fun.  And just teasing Nita, I think Josie would be an adorable Glenda and Connor is already practicing his barking.

I’ve been making up stories for the kids bedtimes and dinner fodder for years.  I basically start with Prince Connor and Princess Josie and just kind of go crazy from there.  It has led to some funny results.  First we got so many compliments from Connor’s teachers on his imagination.  They said he would make up these wonderful and creative stories.  So Tuesday after nap the babysitter was feeding them a snack and Connor was practicing his doggie bark and kitty cat “meow.”  She asked if he had a cat.  He said, “We used to have a dog when I was little.  Then he ate the cat.”  Her eyes got really big and she looked at me and I said, “Well, not really.  We had a dog, but he never ate a cat.  He got skunked once, but that was about it.”  She said, “I can’t believe I fell for that, but he was so believable.”  Uh oh.

Speaking of blinking where did the 90s and 2000s go?  Nita and I went to the Def Leppard/Poison show two nights ago (and yes my ears are still ringing a little).  Wow am I a party loser?!  I cannot hang like I used to.  Now seriously, to my old high school and college friends, and some into my 30s…Could I bring it?  You know I could find another gear.  Now, I’m stuck in second with a flat tire and an oil leak.  Seriously, Nita and I were in bed before midnight and 7AM felt like a sledgehammer.  In fact, I could use a nap.