Martinez Christmas Letter 2013

 

When did you stop beating your kids?  This year we decided our big vacation would be a Disney cruise.  We kind of went all out.  I wasn’t sure how the kids would do on a boat for that long, so we did the four night cruise and booked an extended stay in Miami for three additional nights.  Two nights before our flight we were getting Connor ready for bed and he buried himself in our pillows to “hide in his habitat.”  I reached under to get him and he exploded out to “surprise me.” The poor boy hit the headboard so hard that I thought we were going to get stitches.  His eye swelled up so quickly it was kind of scary.  In fact I would guess it was one or two foot pounds away from about five stiches, it looked pretty thin and tight (for those of you to whom that would make sense).  We iced him pretty heavy for the next two days.  We arrived at the airport, took the first leg of our flight, and the kids were doing great.  I booked an extended layover in case we needed costume (diaper) changes, lunch, or just needed to run the kids to tucker them out for the Dallas to Miami hop.  As the kids were running around the play area Josie ran into the corner of the table...eye first. I now have two children with black eyes. So here we are about to board a boat for a swanky cruise and I am obviously an abusive father.  I was praying that Nita wouldn’t stumble into a door to complete the trifecta.  In fact it reminded me of when I had gone to Houston to ask Nita’s Uncle Sammy for permission to marry her.  He recommended that I “never lay a hand on her” in a way that hinted that they might not find the body should I ignore his advice.  Two weeks later we were house shopping and Nita hit her eye on a spring loaded gate.  I told her we couldn’t go to Houston for two months.  She thought I was overreacting. 

 

Disney and Miami. We made it on the boat and the kids were pretty excited.  We toured some of the kids clubs and got some lunch.  We had a really large suite on the boat and it included a dining room.  So instead of trying to get the kids bathed, dressed, to hurry down and stand in lines to then sit quietly and wait an hour for breakfast…we had the majority of our breakfasts and lunches in our suite; mostly in pajamas. The funny thing we learned was that Josie is a night owl and Connor goes full speed until he hits the wall and then goes down.  Connor fell asleep at the dinner table all but one night and while I entertained Josie at the table, poor Nita ate her dinner in the suite almost every night.  We also learned that even though NO ONE loves animals as much as Connor does; humans in animal costumes…not so much.  Meanwhile Josie loves characters in costume…and she can eat her weight in macaroni and cheese. We visited the Bahamas, did a submarine ride, and played on the beach; where Josie ate almost two whole mangos in one sitting.  That girl can eat. Kids and parents had a wonderful time.

Miami was wonderful.  We went to the Miami Seaquarium which is like a 1950s version of SeaWorld complete with the injection mold plastic animals (Remember Mold-A-Rama?).  The next day we went to Jungle Island which is a VERY interactive zoo. Connor fed parrots, a lemur, kangaroos, and goats.  He also held snakes, turtles, and an alligator. The kid is fearless.

The flight home was great and I even had a flight attendant tell me how well the kids behaved.  However, I made one “princess bed” (you’ll see).  After our lunch the stewardess came by with warm cookies.  Nita had to go the restroom, Connor was watching a movie and was fine so I slid next to Josie and started tearing her cookie into pieces to cool it off.  I mean it was just-out-of-the-oven hot and I was helping, right?  Josie was nearing nap time and we’d been on the plane for a couple of hours and well the coup de gras was when I took a bite of one of the pieces to see if it was cool enough.  Well Josie lost her mind.  Not only did she not want her cookie “broken” but actually consuming a portion was just plain unforgivable.  Nita came back and looked at me like, “what’d you do, I was only gone for two minutes?”  Even the flight attendant chastised me.  I switched Connor’s whole cookie for Josie’s “broken” cookie and the world continued turning.

 

Saturdays with Nita.  During the spring and summer I usually play golf on Saturdays and during football season, well my time belongs to Texas A&M football.  So Nita has been very creative on what there is to do around town for the kids.  One time she found a reptile expo. Connor loved it so much I had to take him back the next day.  He held everything.  In fact this year (if you include the petting zoo, circus animal rides, and jungle island) Connor and Josie have pet, fed, held or ridden: a camel, elephant, horse, donkey, cow, parrots, tarantula, black scorpion, python, reticulated python, milk snake, corn snake, grass snake, boa constrictor, alligator, lemur, kangaroos, turtles, dog, cat, caterpillar, butterfly, largemouth bass, catfish, frog, worms, ants, praying mantis, rat, monkey, lizard, bearded dragon, basilisk, chickens, chicks, sloth, ducks, geese, lambs, goats, pony, sting ray, starfish, sea urchin, crab, snails, pigs, and bunnies.  It probably is no surprise that Connor originally wanted to be a “snake hunter” for Halloween.  In fact, he sometimes introduces himself as “snake hunter” when asked his name.

 

New Door.  We have a new door.  If you remember 10 years ago when we were shopping for granite for the countertops and how long it took, well once we decided to get one it only took us 9 months, five trips, 10 designs, 200 emails, and three arguments.  We have a new door.

 

Josie’s princess bed.  Josie learned to both climb out of her crib and also into it.  She used items from around her room and (even though she’s more coordinated than Connor) I just knew a big fall was inevitable.  Nita purchased a princess bed for her six months prior from a friend whose daughter had grown out of and we put it in Connor’s closet.  So to set it up it would have to be at a time when Connor and obviously Josie weren’t napping, I was home, and I had a couple of hours.  Well the perfect storm hit.  I went to check on Josie as she got her arm stuck between the rails trying to move her toy riding horse closer so she could climb out.  About 10 minutes later Connor woke up and went downstairs and Nita was going to coax him into getting in bed with her to continue the nap.  We had a date night planned with another couple in four hours.  I saw my window.  So I took apart the crib.  I then went into Connor’s closet and got all the parts and went online to download the assembly instructions.  Nita came upstairs and gave me the “home alone” look and shouted, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I thought it was obvious but I answered her anyway. She flipped out.  “Put it back together right now!” I said I was too far along that I preferred to go ahead and assemble the princess bed, besides it was a drop side and disassembly is a one man job, but assembly is a two man job.  Nita was inconsolable. I’m not exaggerating, she was furious with me. The faux pas that I had committed was the sin of omission.  Apparently I was supposed to check with Nita first.  The real problem was logically we both knew that Josie had outgrown the crib.  The emotional problem was I robbed Nita of the process to accept that there would be no more cribs in the house.  Her baby had just passed a milestone.  I’m sure all you moms out there got that right away, and all you dads were kind of like me “WTF, problem - solution, you’re welcome!”  She was so mad at me, when we pulled into the valet stand and he said, “You got a sitter, awesome… my wife and I celebrated our 26th anniversary.”  She replied, “We MIGHT make it to 10.”  Well the date night went on and we managed to have fun.  She accepted that it was time and I accepted my failure in protocol.  And Josie LOVES her bed.  Now when she’s ready to get up she gets out, knocks on her door, and then opens it just about six inches…so the zombies don’t come in. We laugh about this a lot now.  Currently a violation of etiquette is known as “the princess bed.”

 

MHP 80.  Around February Nita told me, mom is turning 80 this year, I’m going to throw her a surprise party.  So she planned and planned and covertly contacted folks.  She smuggled some photo albums out of Mary Helen’s house so I could put together a video/slideshow.  She worked with the chef, planner, and bartenders at our club to make sure everything was perfect.  She even went out and got special decorations.  Finally, she set up special hotel rates for incoming family…during ACL music fest week no less.  And two weeks prior to the event, Mary Helen said, “Nita, I really do not want a party okay?”  Pause, blink blink, “Uh, okay mom.”  She was almost in tears and asked me what she should do.  I said, “Proceed.  Put all your remaining energy into the outcome, not worrying about how you got here.”  She did, and the party rocked.  Mary Helen was so surprised, and overwhelmed with all the folks who came from everywhere to celebrate with her.  The food was perfect, cake was perfect, and we even hired a couple of teenagers to take pictures of the event.  Mary Helen was still on cloud 9 days later. Happy 80^th to Mary Helen, and great job Nita.

 

Halloween.  Josie’s favorite holiday is Halloween.  Bigger than Christmas, bigger than birthday.  Presents be damned, that girl loves zombies, “ghoulies,” and decorations.  Luckily much like during Christmas, our neighborhood goes pretty Griswold for Halloween as well. She made me take her around the neighborhood almost every other day to see if any new decorations, graveyards, or blowups had been put up.  Her favorite so far is a pretty disturbing zombie mother rocking a zombie baby on this guy’s front porch. Connor likes Halloween, Josie LOVES Halloween.  Last year we did the family theme, I’m afraid that ship may have sailed. Connor was a jaguar (of course Abuelita sewed his costume) and Josie wanted to be a “pink goblin.”

 

Entomology. This was definitely the year of the science experiment.  It started off when I read that the praying mantis was the most efficient hunter in the animal kingdom, parlay that with the fact that they LOVE to eat mosquitos.  We all know how much Marco loves flying biting/stinging insects don’t we?  Well Marco ordered two praying mantis pods.  We were told that each pod would hatch around 200 little mantids.  So we cleaned out a couple of little cherub tomato trays and put a pod in each one.  And then one morning I heard, “Daddy! Daddy!  Come quickly they are hatching.”  I ran to the kitchen and then saw about 200 little baby mantids hopping around.  It took me about 30 minutes to gently scoop them up and take them outside.  The next day…it happened to the other pod.  It was awesome. The kids were amazed.  We put the pics on facebook and several of our neighbors would call or write us that they found one of our little hatchlings.

Connor and Josie’s school had a school visit from the butterfly guy.  Long story short we ended up with a caterpillar attached to a milkweed plant.  For two weeks we watched that little dude munch and munch and munch.  Then, “Pita” started to curl up, turn into a chrysalis, and finally emerge as a monarch butterfly.  The kids loved it.

We then had our fifth annual petting zoo birthday party with all the farm animals you can think of.  The kids had a great time, petting, wrestling, riding, and holding them all.  Also, this year we decided to let the kids each choose a cake.  Josie chose rainbow sheet cake…Connor asked for a doughnut cake.  Yes, Krispy Kreme makes one. Finally after everyone went home we started to open gifts.  Connor’s Godfather and Godmother sent him a….wait for it….an ant farm.  Those little harvester ants made some great tunnels and Connor and Josie both loved getting right up to the glass with magnifying glasses. Those guys work let me tell you.

 

 

Phew, what a year.  The kids are growing like weeds.  Nita and Marco are healthy and happy, and our blessings are too numerous to even list.  Every year when I write this I look back and laugh at all the fun and wonder how we were able to squeeze all of these activities and experiences in a single year.  I also reflect on the times where maybe I lost a little faith, hope, or let my guard down.  It’s kind of embarrassing to go back over all the wonderful friends and family in our lives, the health and well-being of our kids, and in spite of all those things to allow stress, worry, frustration, and doubt creep in.  So this little recap is therapeutic for me.  I hope you find it similarly entertaining, therapeutic, and a way to grow closer to God.

So here we are at the close of 2013.  I wish you all health, happiness, and all the blessings you deserve (and a few you don’t). God bless you and Merry Christmas.  May 2014 be your best year ever.  Stay tuned, there are big changes coming soon.  And Nita isn’t pregnant.

Marco, Nita, Connor, and Josie (didn’t pull off the dog this year, but Nita this is a hint, this won’t read the same way next year).

What I learned on my Summer Vacation

I thought I was a pretty engaged parent, and then I spent 9 full days with my wife and kids with no work, golf, or any other time event to separate us.  Okay, now I know a lot more about them and about me.  First if you ever start wondering if you are a good parent, go on a Disney cruise.  You’ll see actual child abuse occurring.  And you’ll see children who have apparently never had their behavior corrected…ever.  You’ll see adults who think that everything and everyone works for them, and you’ll have a wonderful time.

We haven’t had any big trips lately (like we used to before the kids) and so I kind of took the reins and planned everything for this.  I used miles and points to upgrade and we went pretty much VIP all the way from the limo to the airport (cheaper than parking for 9 days) to the accommodations, to the flights.  We flew to Miami, got on the Disney Wonder the next day, sailed for four nights to Key West; Nassau, Bahamas; Castaway Cay; then back to Miami.  When we got back to the hotel, our room wasn’t ready so we took a cab to the Miami Seaquarium.  Next day was Jungle Island, and finally the Children’s museum before flying home on the 9^th day.

What I learned about Connor.  He has a VERY short attention span, but when focused, he is captivated.  He loves all animals and will touch, feed, hold, pet, stalk, and chase anything that crawls, runs, flies, swims, floats, side-winds, gallops, slithers, stings, bites, or hibernates.  This guy is Steve Irwin reincarnated and I say this with all sincerity, don’t be surprised if you see him on some kind of zoo or wildlife show in 20 years.  He has a gift with the animals that is nothing short of incredible.  If you are a loyal follower, you’ve read that his teachers at school call him the ‘butterfly whisperer’. 

One of his favorite shows is “Crocodile Hunter.”  He watches it almost daily.  There are two episodes in which Steve gets bitten by a snake and by a lizard.  In both cases he calmly removes the reptile or waits out the bite.  He does not yank his hand away and potentially make things worse.  Well, while we were at Jungle Island he was feeding some parrots.  I was holding him and he was trying to get one parrot to eat the parrot food.  I guess by about 2pm most of the birds had been stuffed to the gills and were no longer hungry.  Connor was being happily persistent.  So the bird bit him and held on.  Connor somewhat shocked, just sat there and did not pull his hand back.  I was reaching for his wrist to make sure he didn’t so we didn’t end up with a gash, but in about 3 seconds the bird let go and Connor pulled his hand back.  I asked if it hurt and he said, ”Yes…but Crocodile hunter never pulls his hand away.”  My boy.

We also learned that Connor has two speeds, full and off.  Three of the four nights Nita had to take Connor back to the room to put him to bed and have her dinner delivered to our stateroom.  He would literally pass out at the dinner table.  Meanwhile Josie can go Go GO!  One night with Connor asleep in his room, she even decided to entertain us with some gymnastic tricks in the sitting room.  More on little Miss Josephine later.  I also learned that Connor loves something that daddy loves.  Ever since I’ve been at Dell, it’s been somewhat difficult to let go of work on vacations.  I’ve always checked blackberries, or purchased internet time to check on things back on the mothership, etc.  Until I started cruising with Nita.  Now, I can sit on the balcony and just watch the waves roll by.  It is both calming and maybe even healing for me.  And I discovered that Connor loves doing that too.  That was a very special part of the cruise for me, just he and I in the morning, watching the waves roll by.

Josephine loves attention.  What two year old doesn’t, right?  But Josie is at home in a crowd, with Disney characters, playing, and choreographing dances at the disco.  Yes, there was a little disco near the ship’s restaurants and we’d go there every evening before dinner (late seating).  Josie would spin, and jump and then start grabbing other kids’ hands to play “ring around the rosie.”  On the first night she head-butted a little girl (while pulling off a spectacular dance jump) and the kid fell to the floor and ran off crying.  Josie seemed bewildered and asked mommy why the little girl ran off.  My girl.

We also used the babysitting services sparingly, but for the four hours she attended we found out that the characters would stop in on their special elevator in the under-3 nursery and take pictures with the toddlers.  Well Josie loved this and we were given quite a few of those pictures for free (nice touch Disney).  She also decided that naps are for punks during the cruise and wanted to “do everything.”  She loved the characters in costume.  She took pictures with: Hook, Schmee, Chip & Dale, Lilo & Stitch, Snow White, Goofy, Pluto, and of course Mickey.  Connor wanted a safe distance from all of these costumed characters.  And by safe, it was usually behind me while I was taking Josie’s picture and she was chatting them up.  Oh, and I mentioned that Connor would run out of bullets at the dinner table…Josie did not.  In fact one night while Connor was blissfully asleep, we all went up on deck to watch the fireworks.  Josie pointed and danced.

Josie also ate her weight in macaroni and cheese.  It came in a little puff pastry shell and she had it every single evening for dinner…usually for lunch, and sometimes for a snack.  She also ate a bag of granny smith apples.  Oh, and while on the Castaway Cay island in the Bahamas, she ate two whole mangos.  That girl can eat.  She also loves the water like Connor does.  While in Castaway Cay, we spent the entire day on the beach going in and out of the water and eventually (by her request) burying Josie in the sand. 

We didn’t bring a nanny or sitter this time and as such didn’t get any mommy and daddy nice dinner time, but honestly, I really loved spending that much time with the kids.  Connor really looked to include me in a lot of the things he was doing or wanting to do.  It was pretty neat.

After we got off the ship, and made it through customs, we made our way back to the hotel.  Our room wasn’t ready yet so we decided to cab over to the Miami Seaquarium.  This is basically a 1960s version of SeaWorld without the rides.  The kids had an absolute blast.  It was a Monday, so it was almost empty.  The kids saw sharks, whales, dolphins, crocs, a peacock, turtles, lots of parrots and much more.  One of the fun nostalgic parts of this was getting those old hot wax mold animals from the Mold-A-Rama machines.  I think the San Antonio zoo used to do them for about 25 cents.  They are no longer 25 cents.

The next day we went to Jungle Island.  This is a VERY interactive zoo.  Connor ended up getting pictures holding: a snake, an alligator, two parrots, a monkey, a lemur, a turtle, and a goat.  He also fed parrots, goats, and kangaroos (which he also pet and tried to pick up).  Josie tried to ride a goat, and that didn’t quite work out.  She also fed the parrots and luckily didn’t get bitten.  If you remember last summer she had the sea gull peanut butter cracker incident which left her very skittish around birds for a month. 

Finally we went to the children’s museum.  It was somewhat accidental, but worked out that everything we did became progressively more interactive and higher touch friendly for the kids.  I’d love to take credit for brilliant planning, but it just kind of worked out.  And it worked out perfectly.  The final day the kids touched any and everything.  They even had this kinetic sand for sandcastles that didn’t stick to your hands.  Josie played with it for a full hour.  Connor ran around until he was just about to drop.  We went back, had a nap and then hit the hotel pool.  Next day we flew home and the kids were fantastic.

So I learned that I have a fantastic family and that my kids have very different interests, but a lot in common.  I learned my son is fanatical about animals and new stimuli.  I learned my daughter likes routine and has a frightening love of macaroni and cheese.  I learned my wife is a very patient person, and we all know that I am not.  I learned Connor would rather lose a toe than lose a toy lizard.  I learned that Josie has learned to manipulate her brother pretty easily and she’s kind of devious about it.  I learned that Josie does not like it when she doesn’t get her way.  Josie learned that daddy doesn’t do tantrums.  Connor learned that a couple of years ago.  Finally I learned that I cannot wait to bring the family on another Disney cruise.

You Earned it Dad

 

Wow, what a Saturday night.  I went out last night and really tied one on.  I was given two tickets to the A&M v. Michigan baseball game today in College Station.  I asked dad if he wanted to go earlier in the week and he said yes.  But good Lord, I am so hung over.  I’m going to call mom and see if maybe he’s forgotten about it.

Well there goes that plan.  Mom just said he’s been talking about this trip all week.  I told her not to tell him about my possible reneging, and to just meet me at the Red Lion parking lot like we’d planned.  We’ll take 290 and hit Hwy 21 from there.  Besides I need to talk to him.  I got that job offer in Phoenix and I really thinking about doing it.  My job at the Capitol is okay, but it’s a little light on the checkbook if you know what I mean.  And the Phoenix job is almost double the salary.  So it’ll be nice to see what he thinks and how he’ll criticize it.

Okay on our way to College station.  Dad has lost quite a bit of weight since his quadruple bypass last June.  He’s been exercising, eating better, and playing tennis twice a week.  He asks me about work and I tell him about my offer and how much more money it is.  He waits for me to tell all my pros and pauses to let it all sink in.  He then very thoughtfully asks me how I intend to entertain myself.  What?  He says, currently you and Omar go out to Dallas for 69 cent drinks, and what do you spend on your typical nights out?  How about laundry?  You come home and mother does a couple of loads for you.  How much time and money might that cost?  And you’ll probably come home for holidays, right?  Have you priced out the flights for that?  And you don’t know anyone there yet, so back to my first question how will you entertain yourself?  You’ll either need cable, or you’ll go out more to try to meet some folks.  Here you and Omar can just meet for a dollar movie.  What is the price of gas there?  Where would you live?  Do you have any idea of where the good parts and bad parts of town are? And how far your office would be from there?  How much is food?  Don’t forget to make a budget with soft costs included.

In any case he challenged me to create a ledger of actual costs today, soft costs, and then align the two to see what the true increase in salary was.  Thank goodness he did this because a couple of years later I found out a funny thing about tax brackets, damn revenuers.

So we got to College Station and went straight to a BBQ joint I used to love.  We found our seats and watched the Aggies bring it home.  Dad and I ragged the umps and he kept a score card.  We talked about which guys might move up.  Then it started getting colder and halfway through game two versus Old Dominion, we headed home.  The drive had me really thinking that maybe Phoenix might not be the place for me, but I would go home and pray about it.

We got to my truck in the Red Lion parking lot and I gave dad a hug and I told him I loved him.  We talked weekly and I did love him, but I didn’t always say it to him. A habit I have since changed by the way.  I drove home and was about to go to bed because I had work tomorrow.  Dad called me just before bed and asked me how Omar had done at the Honda Classic.  I told him he had another top 25, his fourth in six events.  Again I told him I loved him and that I had fun today.

Around 1AM my roommate “steroid” Joe came into my room and said, “Marco, MARCO!  Wake up man.  You have to come listen to this message.”  I asked him what was up and he just repeated that I had to listen to the message.  I went over to the machine and pushed play.  It was my mother’s neighbor Mrs. Lowden.  She said that the ambulance was there and my father wasn’t breathing and that I needed to come home right away.  I called home immediately and I noticed that Joe had buried his face in his hands.  I asked what was going on and they said, “Just come home.”  I told them that I was on my way, but when Star Flight got there and they moved him to Brack (our major trauma center) just page me with7777777.  I would know to break off my route and meet them there. I jumped in my truck and started racing home to Manchaca from my northwest Austin rental.  I was an EMT and I know how the timing of things works.  I knew the steps and kept looking at my pager.  Why haven’t they beeped me yet?  What is going on?

I got to the upper deck and realized that I was never going to get a page and that I’d just spent my last day with my father.  I cried for the next 10 miles knowing that I had to be strong for mom.  I got there and there were sheriffs, firemen, volunteer EMS from my old unit, and neighbors.  I had so many thoughts going through my head.  It was weird in a sense because I had been on the other side of the flashing lights before and never really empathized with the victim’s families, I was just doing my job.  I saw a lot of the same blank looks, the looks that allow you to continue to keep doing that service and stay focused and professional.  But some who had worked with me did feel something and it showed. 

I got inside and my mother was in shambles.  God bless her she just wanted to hold my father just a little longer.  I gave her very logical advice that was just plain stupid over the next few weeks.  I thought it would help her, but I wish I would have just been more patient.  I wish I could take some of that time back.

Omar’s dad was there.  He pulled me over and gave me a stern but understanding look.  “Marco, okay, we need to make some decisions.  And I need you to focus.  Are you ready?  We need to make a list of the people to contact.  You need to make a list of pall bearers.  We need to call the church for the last rites.  And we need to write an obituary.”  I had tasks and I was ready to dive into the details.  We called a dear friend Robert Falcon to come and help with the body and he said he’d called Father Hal Zinc (who died just before he could Marry Nita and I), to come and prepare the body.  Father Hal also set the land speed record for Hail Marys’ as my friends can attest from the Rosary.

My mother told me that he said what a wonderful day he had with me.  When they went to bed he kissed her, told her he loved her, and went to sleep.  Mom woke up to hear his last gasp and he died of a heart attack.  She called 911 and a neighbor. I often think, what if I would have cancelled our trip. 

I started writing my father’s eulogy the next day.  My friends Pete, Richard, and Natalie came over and hung out with me while I tried to work things out.  Omar’s brother, Javier came over and did everything.  He drove us around, got the car inspected, got groceries, everything.  My friend Jill who was a travel agent in Missouri, put Omar on a plane home to be with me for the funeral, he stood by me while I delivered the eulogy in case I couldn’t finish it.  He flew back immediately to play the Bay Hill invitational.  Rusty stayed behind to walk the course while Omar missed the week of practice rounds.  The outpouring of support and love for him was amazing.  People came from all over to say goodbye and to offer their condolences.

It has been 17 years since that night.  I think of him often.  I channel him frequently and Nita and I even argue sometimes about his maniacal quest for betterment, and what he “really meant.”  I converted some VHS tapes to DVD a few years back and I found one with us just hanging out in our old house in Manchaca.  He was just playing with his little dog Chico.  I had forgotten his voice, but not his face or his message.  In fact I still hear his sayings in my head.  I frequently ask myself what dad would do in a certain situation. I’m glad I have the disc, so I can make sure that the kids can see and hear their Abuelito.  And funny enough, yesterday mom was over for dinner and she asked, “Don’t you ever get tired of me?”  I said, “Well, maybe someday Josie or Connor won’t be tired of me coming to dinner.”  We hugged and she thanked me.

I was watching Saving Private Ryan the other day and the scene where the old Ryan drops down on his knees and asks if he was a good man, did he “earn” being saved.  Well there is no doubt that dad earned it.  Thanks for everything. I still love you, I still miss you.  I still have time to earn it, and I won’t let you down. 

Those Amazing Animals

This was a pretty fun weekend for the Martinez clan.  We took Connor and Josephine to the circus on Saturday and Sunday the neighbor’s cat came to play with the kids…again.  Next weekend is the Broadway across America show, “The Lion King” which Connor is pretty excited about.

First the circus.  My friend Pete told me that you could actually ride elephants at the Shrine circus as opposed to the Barnum and Bailey circus (which we also attended last summer).  So when I got the notice that the shrine circus was coming (and to the Cedar Park center no less), it was a no brainer.  We built it up for Connor and Josephine and by the time we were having breakfast the morning of, both were champing at the bit.  When we got inside, we asked the kids if they wanted to ride the camel or the elephant.  Both said “ELEPHANT” although Connor wanted to pet a camel.  They smiled, waived and enjoyed the ride.  Then Josie wanted to ride the Camel, but Connor thought he’d “trade” his camel ride for a snake hold.  Yes there was a 10 foot python, okay, maybe six, but still my little man is four, so, well it was a big assed snake.

There was Connor who has been watching at least four episodes of crocodile hunter a week for the last two months.  Many of them involve snakes and he’s already fearless.  So while other kids were squeamishly avoiding the snake and cowering, Connor could not wait to pet and hold the snake.  So the lady put it around his neck and he was in heaven.  Now if you’ve ever seen a snake episode of Crocodile hunter and, while I’m here…  How the hell did Steve Irwin last as long as he did?  I remember casually seeing a scene here and there a couple of decades ago and when I heard he’d been killed by a sting ray I figured it was pure dumb luck.  But this guy CONSTANTLY put himself in situations where he should have been medevac-ed to a major trauma center.  When I grew up (still with me?) it was Marlon Perkins on the Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom.  He’d be in a jeep 1000 yards away with a microphone while his sidekick Jim was nearly getting decapitated by a lion.  I think Steve Irwin decided… “Who needs Jim?” Anyway, so when Irwin grabs a snake (usually an extremely poisonous death on contact type) he grabs it by the tail.  So when Connor was having the snake pulled away from him he reached for the tail.  The handler very politely said not to do that, but I knew what it was all about…and they were lucky because I’d bet 10 bucks that as soon as he grabbed the tail he was going to look at me and break into an Australian accent.  Yep Connor does accents.

So we make our way to our seats and then the candy stand comes to life.  Remember in Beauty and the Beast when Belle’s Dad freaks out a little when all the clocks, and furniture, and tea set, etc. all start talking to him?  Okay, so I get it, I’m in marketing and I am not shocked, but it doesn’t make me less annoyed.  Every 10 seconds a new vendor comes up the steps with another sugared product, worthless light up product, or a stuffed version of whatever act is going on.  Again, I get the genius of pushing this in the face of children at the perfect time at a time when parents can go to prison for telling a child to “shut up” too loudly.  But it was over the top.  It was so over the top they were blocking views of the acts.  It was so over the top, there was a point in the show when the emcee told everyone to hold their light up products in the darkened arena to show where the special people where and then even cautioned parents that these worthless (20 bucks of worthless) toys were made especially for this show and could not be purchased EVER again in stores or on the internet.  Really?  I laughed when some very sweet grandparents bought their little, I don’t know four, five, maybe three year-old a light-up product and within two minutes he’d dropped it on the floor breaking it.  Of course all sales are final.  If I ever started to sell drugs and needed to launder the money, I’m buying a circus.  Seriously how does a normal family go to the circus and not blow the rent and grocery money for the month?  I mean we were in for 75 bucks before we got to our seats.

The volume in the arena was also unbelievably high.  I’m guessing to drown out all the pan handlers on every aisle, but also I guess suppress the crying, and screaming.  In any case, it was a bit much for Connor so he said he wanted a break from the noise.  We went down and grabbed some lunch.  Continuing with the expense theme, some guy noticed the hot dog, chicken strips, hamburger, and chicken sandwich we were all sharing and said, “That looks like a healthy hundred dollar meal.”  I think I even saw a brinks truck pulling up at intermission.  The second act came around and it was more animals and fun and we really did enjoy the show over the heads of the pusher guys who were I’m sure terribly missed from the street corners from which they were plucked.  The semi-mistake I made was getting some peanut m&ms for dessert.  Josie turned into a crack head and didn’t even want to watch the show, she just wanted the candy.  The best part was as soon as they came down from the sugar rush and we got home.  Bang, they were pooped and in bed for naps.

The next day our neighbor’s cat came by.  This cat has been coming by when the kids are outside and they chase him around and he runs around with them.  The cutest thing happened Sunday though.  I’m not sure how it happened, but we ended up with an entire tube of yarn outside.  Anyway, as is always the case with yarn, there is a string about 10-15 feet long that’d been pulled out of the main tube.  Connor started running with it and the cat was chasing Connor and the yarn.  He’d pounce on the end and Connor would keep running making the string even longer.  Then Josie got in the act.  They were running, falling, laughing, yelling for the cat to get the other one, and it was hysterical.  Nita and I were doubling over with how funny this was.  It was a really good time.  We’ve all seen cats and string, but I really wish I would have taped it, this was one of those funniest home video winners I think.  The cat was tired, the kids were filthy, and I hadn’t laughed that hard in a while.  Now I’m off to sell some blood to pay for the circus.