The Emerging Athlete.
As a year-round athlete since I was five, I have always been concerned
about NOT pushing Connor too fast or too early.
In fact I’ve been trying to let him to want to play sports more than I
want him to do it. So I’ve exposed him
to sports, but haven’t pushed at all. Between
flights from a trip Nita told me she signed him up for Soccer tots. I almost threw up. Not only was this not part of the plan, but to
potentially blow the whole thing…by soccer no less. Ugh. I asked how she got the idea and she
said a couple of the ladies she likes from Connor’s school had signed up their
kids. Now both of them are from soccer-crazed
countries and don’t realize no one in America cares about soccer. In fact I think their kids were born with
Arsenal and AC Milan jerseys as swaddling clothes. I was concerned Connor might
get overwhelmed because we’ve NEVER kicked a soccer ball around the house. Ever. Well the good news is I was able to
make it to the third event and I laughed as all the other kids were kicking the
ball and doing the drills and Connor was just running around aimlessly and
doing his own thing. Phew, disaster
averted.
Pachina.
We read that children who know the correct anatomical names of their junk
are far less likely to be abused. The
theory is that child predators use silly names that seem innocuous, even if the
child potentially relays that information to the parents. So we’ve been a “penis” and “vagina” family
from the beginning. The kids know what
is what although; Josie pronounces it “PAH-china.” So one day after a big rain storm the kids were
out playing in puddles. Connor was still
in potty training mode and he said, “I’m going to put my penis in the
puddle.” Josie, not wanting to be
outdone said, “I’m going to put my pachina in it” and started to lower herself
into a squat into the puddle. Nita and I couldn’t stop laughing. Also, if you leave a putt short at my golf
club, be prepared to be called a “pachina.”
Easter.
Josie was six months old and Connor got to hit his first piñata last
Easter. Two years ago, if you remember, we went to Houston. Connor opened his
first Easter egg and sat on the grass with his box of raisins and just enjoyed
his treat. Connor has since taken a
shine to sweets. This year, both kids
were mobile, and during the egg hunt, acted like homeless guys on bath
salts. Picture two little monsters
running around pushing the other one out of the way diving for eggs. And there
was no regard to what was inside the egg; just open it and shoot it like a
Jaeger bomb. And when they locked eyes on the same egg, well to put it like my
hockey neighbor would put it, it was like two “number ones” on the ice shaking
their gloves. But no one got hurt and
they eventually went to sleep. They both
loved the cascarones (confetti eggs) and Easter was a success.
First Class.
During my business travels this year I found myself in Denver during the
NCAA women’s basketball final four.
Anyway, for some reason I woke up at 2AM. So I did a little work and then went to the
gym. It started snowing and I had a
super early flight. But I wasn’t worried;
I had an easy two hop flight and would by home by 1pm. So I waited on the tarmac while the plane was
de-iced and we headed off to Dallas about 30 minutes late. I had an easy 30 minutes to catch the next
flight and ran over to my gate. At this
point the tornado warnings hit. Our
plane was told to de-board and move to the severe weather areas. I went to the Admirals club for a cocktail
and some lunch. Surely this would blow
over quickly. Then the tornados
hit. We were evacuated into the stairwell
under the club. Then the hail hit. I didn’t think about this at the time, but
200 planes were damaged and had to be inspected and all inbound traffic was
rerouted. DFW is one of the busiest
airports in the world and well, there is no spare hanger with 200 planes in it
to get back on track. So the airport
became a madhouse. Ground traffic was
snarled and all the rental cars had hail damage. So the end of the story was my status got me
booked on the last and ONLY flight to Austin that night….at 10pm. I landed at 11 and was so out of bullets Nita
had to come and picked me up. If you are
keeping score at home that is roughly 17 hours.
But I got home safely and that is the most important thing. Isn’t
business travel sexy?
No dog to blame.
Josie started talking very early.
She has also learned that some actions get her in trouble and Josie does
not like to be in trouble. So one day
while my mother was visiting (the kids call her Abuelita) Josie took off a
poopy diaper. Nita came around the
corner and saw a naked baby running around and asked where her diaper was. Josie showed her. Then Nita noticed some poop on the
floor. She asked little Miss Josephine,
“Josie, who did this?” Josie said,
“Abuelita.” Nita asked again, “Josie,
are you saying that Abuelita put poop on the floor?” Without hesitating Josie said, “yes.” The
force is strong with this one.
Illusion.
Nita’s mother and Connor have a bond in their love of dinosaurs. Grandmother even has a stegosaurus song that
they sing together. So when the
Dinosaurs flying dragons in 3D came to the IMAX it was a no brainer. So we all got there and Connor had never
experienced 3D before. He was
amazed. At one point a Pterodactyl flew
by and disappeared behind us. Connor
shouted (in a voice loud enough for the entire theater), “Dinosaur, come back
here this instant!” The crowd laughed.
The Beach.
Last Memorial Day we rented a friend’s beach house (actually the week
before to beat the crowds). We drove both cars down and brought our nanny and
the two grandmothers. This year we did
it again with two changes, a different sitter (mistake) and we rented an RV
(awesome). The RV was fantastic because
we could all fit, eat, use the restroom, nap, etc. and never stop moving. We were able to use it as a base of operation
at the beach as well. Got to use the bathroom,
need a snack, get out of the sun? On the
bus with you. Also, we could pack a lot
more food to bring instead of buying island food at twice the price. We had a great time. Connor, being the water bug that he is,
hopped off the RV and ran straight into the surf. He played for hours in the shallows and
chased seagulls until he couldn’t run anymore.
Josie loved it too, but had one bad experience. While feeding seagulls,
or more watching them get fed, one swooped down and stole her peanut butter
cracker and a little piece of her finger as well. She was not pleased with the seagull. She still talks about that mean old gull that
bit her finger and stole her cracker.
One of the cutest parts was at the Texas state aquarium. There was one
tank where just Connor and Josie were looking at some fish. Connor was pointing out certain fish and
telling Josie the names of them. “That
one is a fishy fish,” he’d say. He was
making up names which made it even cuter and Josie’s grin was ear to ear. She is his human shadow and she loves her
some big brother.
Hotels. Our kids travel very well and it
works out great. Nita had a business
trip to make to Houston and suggested we all go. Since I’m kind of a road warrior anyway, I
obliged. I do my work in hotel rooms all
the time. So off we went. We stayed in a nicer hotel than normal and
let me just say that the kids like hotels.
The valet parking, room service, the cookies, the indoor/outdoor pool,
the concierge room, yep, they’re spoiled.
I remember traveling with my buddy Omar when he was first starting out
on the golf mini-tours. Once we stayed
in room with a queen, a murphy bed, and it had two, count them TWO phones. We thought that was pretty swanky back then,
even with four of us in the room.
Hopefully when we go camping someday they won’t ask for turndown
service. What? No chocolate on the
sleeping bag? Connor literally cried when we left and demanded that we go back
to the hotel.
Halloween.
It has always been fun for us.
Year 1, Connor was a little Dracula.
Year 2, Thomas the train with Josie t minus 10 days. Last year we did the family Shrek thing with
Nita as Fiona, Josie as donkey, and Connor as the most awesome puss in
boots. This year we’d talked about the
Wizard of Oz. The problem was Connor
started drifting from the plan and mentioning that he’d like to be Toto. Well, to keep a long story short, Nita and I
argued about whether or not Toto was a prop or not and when the dust settled,
Connor decided to be the Lion and saved the day. I was the tin man, Nita was an awesome
scarecrow, and Josie was the MOST adorable Dorothy. And I’m not exaggerating. She was jaw-dropping cute. Normally Connor gets the (no pun intended)
lion’s share of the compliments because he has red hair, green eyes, and is a
good looking boy (I blame Nita). So good
looking that when we go out, old people come out of their blow chairs to touch
his face and give him compliments. Josie
would get some head pats and an occasional cheek-pinch. But when she put on the Dorothy costume she
transformed. She was the belle of the
ball and she ate it up. I’m not sure,
but it may have changed her a little (plus she turned two). But ever since no matter where we go, the
store, the mall, golf club…even with Connor in tow, she has been getting a LOT
of compliments. Connor still gets his,
don’t get me wrong he didn’t turn John Merrick on us, but I guess Josie went
from baby to little girl. Stop it time,
just stop it!
The Fourth Floor. Nita had her 15th annual 25th
birthday this year and had a nice little spa day with some girlfriends with
some dinner out afterwards. Mom came over to babysit and put the kids to bed. Well Nita was running late and I was getting
flustered about the reservations and mom didn’t park where she normally
parks…and well I backed into her car. Like a good neighbor…
Birthday. Once again we had the combination
birthday with the petting zoo. The
delight of the eleven year old across the street tells me this could last quite
a while for us. Connor turned four and
Josie turned two. This year I finally
relaxed and enjoyed the party. For four
years now I have either been taking pictures, watching to make sure no one got
hurt, or trying to save animals from being crushed. This year Nita brilliantly hired a little
high school girl who is a photography student to come take pictures for
us. She did an unbelievable job. Also, I asked the zoo keeper guy if they ever
lose animals. He said, “Very rarely,
they’re probably safer here with all these kids than going for a drive with you
in the car statistically.” (Did someone
tell him about mom’s car?) “Plus,
they’re about fifty cents a pound.” So I
exhaled and this year I enjoyed the party. And it was really fun. Last year, Josie did not like the pony
ride. This year she did it three times
grinning ear to ear. Josie did learn the
improper way to handle a bunny and got a couple of pretty big scratches on her
hand. To her credit, after she cried and
momma held her for a bit, she was back in the pen playing with bunnies and
ducks. She even bottle fed a baby
goat. Connor showed his fearlessness once
again and had a fun time in the pen.
Then while they were putting the animals up, we transitioned everyone to
the Playscape part of the back yard. Connor was having so much fun, he didn’t
alert anyone he had to go pee. He didn’t
wet himself; instead he just dropped trousers and went right there. But luckily he turned to face everyone. Yep, everyone got a shot of Connor’s little
pink cobra. So Connor is potty trained, yay.
Thanksgiving with The Italians.
This year we rented a van and loaded up the kids and grandmothers and
off we went. We checked into a small hotel
and instead of separate suites, we got a two bedroom suite. That too was too much fun. When you get to an Italian Thanksgiving, let’s
just say if you leave hungry or thirsty, you’ve no one to blame but
yourself. There is food, food, food, and
then enough sweets to make Connor and Josie look like, well do you remember
that scene in Silence of the Lambs where Lector’s face is covered in blood and
he has this evil satisfied look on his face?
That look. Anyway, it was great,
we watched football, talked politics, ate food, while Connor and Josie just
played with their cousins. It was a
great time. Then back at the hotel we
settled in and the grandmothers were in one bedroom, Nita and I were in another
and we put both kids on the pull-out couch.
This was interesting because they’d never slept together in the same bed
before. Even at the coast they each had
their own bed. So in the morning Nita
and I heard them talking to each other.
It was the sweetest little four and two year old conversation. Josie was saying that mommy and daddy were
coming right back and Connor said, “No Josie, we are going to stay here for a
LOOOOOONG time.” Josie said, “No, no, we
are coming back right now.” (You have to do it in their voices for it to
work). Then they started talking about
Halloween monsters. Josie mentioned
“calacas” (skeleton in Spanish) while Connor corrected her and said that
everyone calls them skeletons. Josie
said, “Not Abuelita.” This may have been
our best family Thanksgiving yet.
SuperTramp. We all know I’m the overprotective
type, but I relented and bought Connor and Josephine a little trampoline. He loves to watch shows and jump while doing
it. It also helps in the transition to
new tasks and for those of you with younger kids it is a great tool for
redirection. In any case, as the whole
“gangnam style” thing has blown up, so has Connor’s love for it. He’ll watch the video 10 times and do the
dance on his trampoline. I made a little
video of it and threw it on FB. So for
the 800 Million hits the video got, put Connor down for a couple of hundred. We took the kids to the mall for a little
train ride just before we printed this and there was one of those bungee
trampolines. Connor did it for a couple
of minutes and then wanted down. Josie went
as high as it would go and kept saying “higher!” It isn’t quite settled, but I have a feeling
Connor is going to be a Veterinarian and Josie will be on a Div I athletic
scholarship. Oh, and I’m now hopelessly
addicted to a British soap opera. Thanks
Omar and Pete.
Martinez & Martinez. I have noticed that consistency of
discipline seems to be my job. And
fundamentally, I’m okay with it. The
thing that gets me (I hope you dads are still reading by now), is whenever I’m
trying to lay down the law, either my mother or Nita comes to Connor’s
defense. I tell them, “He doesn’t need a
lawyer.” They ignore me and prepare his
defense for him, sometimes with exhibits. Four against one is this really my
future? I guess when they turn on mommy, she’ll come back around …right?
A&M in
the SEC with a Heisman winner, Texas with their new network…it really was a
shame that we couldn’t play the best rivalry in football this year. But it taught me a lesson about grudges. I choose to let them go more now than I used
to, and forgive easier. So with that,
we’d like to wish all of you a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. May your families be blessed, have fun, and
enjoy the little things. Time keeps
moving and only the memories last. May God
Bless you all.
