So this is Parenting

This is my first blog (sort of) so please bear with me.  First of all I have a wife named Nita and we've been married for seven years.  As of today's posting, we have a two-year old boy (almost two and a half) named Connor and a five-month old girl named Josephine. Nita and Connor both have flaming red hair.  And I have brown curly hair like my baby Josie. Now you understand the URL: two reds, two browns.  As time goes on, if you stick with me, you'll get to enjoy more of the dynamic of two red heads in a house, one of whom is three generations off the boat Italian.  You'll learn about my quick wit and how it gets me in to trouble, my Mexican mother, and my German-Irish Mother-in-law. But that is for another time. 

I went to lunch today with some of my colleagues.  Invariably I will interject a funny story about Connor, Josephine, or Nita.  Today we started talking about a meeting in which a co-worker was treated without regard to his/her feelings.  The message was spot on, but delivery was not.  We then went on to identifying talent and being a perfectionist, being able to separate the message from the delivery.

For those who knew me in my youth and who knew my father, you know I was in year round sports.  And my father was almost always a coach on those teams.  I was a pretty good athlete and dad always pushed me to be better.  In fact he was almost maniacal about it.  I remember loving to play the game but hating the car ride home after. Here is how the conversation usually went:
"Son, you played a good game today."
"Thanks dad."
"But, you are still (fill in the lesson or skill I didn't do correctly that game)"
"I know."
"Then why did you do it"
"I don't know.  But I struck out 9 batters dad!"
"Yes, but you walked two and weren't working both sides of the plate. You also missed an 0-2 fastball which means you are still guessing at the plate."
"But we won. (really upset now)"
"Son, you'll be able to get by on talent alone early, but now is the time to develop your work ethic and overcome sloppy play.  This is when you make your good habits or become a slave to the bad ones."

The lesson is right on...but was delivered poorly.  And to be honest I struggled with constructive criticism for years. In my father's defense, I did go on to play sports in College and he did know what was best. 

Now we fast forward to lunch.  We were talking about our children and coordination.  I mention that I notice Connor's running style is a little sloppy and I'd like to see his knees come up a little higher and maybe have his arms move a little differently.  I then said, "But I also see that he's having a ball and of course he's two and I don't want to change any of that.  I want him to enjoy the activities and not think about 'technique' while he's having fun and being a little boy." 

Part of me wonders if I will have the strength to let him just discover things or gently nudge him into better techniques down the road when he starts competing...or if I'll just blurt out, "Son, you're doing it wrong!"  I already do that with my wife who forgives my delivery most of the time.  Oh dad, I miss you and I love you....But you were doing it wrong.