Okay, so we are officially in the zone. Connor has discovered negative attention and as a smart kid has learned to use it. We finally had some issues this weekend where Connor was both really good and really naughty. We also discovered that burping and farting are kind of funny, except loud fake burp noises at the dinner table, and at the store, at school, at the mall, or basically anywhere. After Connor knocked over a row of cans at the supermarket, he went into the burping chorus. It reminded me of the time(s) I was asked to go cut my own switch. And no I didn’t make him cut a switch…he’s too young for knives or hatchets. By the way, there is no perfect size switch. The thick ones just hurt and the thin ones bend and snap like a bull whip. You are kind of screwed either way.
Nita and I have different ideas on how to discipline and have even had “discussions” on what things are okay and not okay. Some of those discussions were funny in retrospect, some of them not so funny. I was talking to another friend of mine about this and I think as athletes all our lives we were taught to constantly anticipate what the next move or the potential consequences of certain actions. For example, I’m terrified that if Connor continues reaching up and grabbing things off counter tops, or opening drawers and reaching inside them, or slamming doors that he’s either going to burn, cut, or sever a finger or do the same to Josie. She is constantly on his six (right behind him) trying to be his shadow. Nita is more apt to let him discover things, not in a bad way, just allow him to grow. I guess I’m more of a corner back and she’s more of a safety. In any case it’s all working out and we’re really having fun watching Connor and Josie grow and learn and trying to help dial in the discipline without stifling the inquisitive creative thought process. It’s a way tougher job than I thought it would be by the way.
Josephine is almost walking now and is chirping up a storm. She’s practicing her words and when we sing songs (which are perfect around Christmas time) she’s joining in gleefully. She’s also working the baby signs and Connor is using them to his advantage as well. Today in fact he signed “more” in the middle of a tantrum to ensure we understood what he needed. It was almost worth paying him off…almost. They are also huge into the Christmas spirit. Connor is singing Christmas songs; Josie is grunting and baby talking her way through them as well. The Christmas videos are going and the lights are going up. I’ve mentioned that our entire neighborhood goes Griswold around here haven’t I? Well we do. 600 trees are delivered to the neighborhood and we all put one in the middle of the front yard with C9 lights. They become the streetlights for the area. Plus there are little theme areas that are just fantastic.
Connor insisted on helping put up the outside lights and of course I let my little helper give me a hand even though it made the entire project last about twice as long. He LOVED it and he looked adorable in his little knit hat, ski boots and mittens. Yes he has ski boots and mittens. The funniest part was when we were putting the inflatable Frosty and Thomas Train up and I had to deflate Frosty so I could stake it in the ground. He was pretty distraught that Frosty had met the same fate as the greenhouse in the movie and said we needed Santa or some Christmas snow to bring him back to life. I could have gone so many ways with that one, but chose the righteous path and explained that this was a doll and the real Frosty was in the North Pole with Santa just like the show said. He decided that was a good explanation. Josie just loves the lights and also looks adorable in her little coat and hat.
After all the decorating in the 40 and high 30’s weather, we decided to give Connor a warm bath. Josie watched Connor playing and quickly decided she also needed to be in the tub and dove in head first. We all gasped and rushed to keep her from drowning. She, however, merely put her hands down and pushed her little head up and giggled. What a pro. So the kids were having a bath and as always Josie was trying to be Connor’s shadow. So Connor dove OUT of the tub. We put him back in and Josie tried to hold him down in the tub. It was hilarious. I can’t even show all the pictures with all the new laws and what not, but they are adorable and if a three year old turns you on and you want to come and try to abduct him, well I have a Glock, a CHL, and I will shoot you in the face. So there’s that. In any case it was really sweet.
They are really starting to play together and Connor is even trying to teach Josephine some words and signs. He’s constantly singing the jingle bells, Frosty, and Rudolph songs and of course he’s teaching her how to make farting sounds. He laughs when she farts or burps and to be honest so do we. I know, you don’t have to tell me where this is going. We are planning to go to my family’s ranch for Christmas and my cousin said he’s already bought a whoopee cushion. Plus we’re going to have tamales, lots of them for the holidays, so that should go well. But honestly, my first Christmas with Nita she bought me a little fart machine with a remote control. And you know what? Fart jokes ARE funny, I don’t care who you are.
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