Cha cha cha changes

In case this ends up in a time capsule of some sort, yesterday will go down in history as the day the scabs hit the tipping point.  Remember back in 1987 when the NFL locked out the players and they started the football season with “scab” players?  Well the NFL referees are locked out and the blown call at the end of the Green Bay vs. Seattle game may go down as one of the biggest blown calls in the history of Monday Night Football.  Now I’m probably a little bitter because I was talked into playing fantasy football (which I had successfully avoided for 16 years) for the first time and I find myself sweating out games that under normal circumstances I wouldn’t give two shits about.  I remember about 8 years ago my buddy Pete asked me to name 12 quarterbacks in the NFL.  I did, but it wasn’t easy.  Now I can pretty much give the top 5 position players on all 32 teams.  I’m not proud of that, by the way, you all know how competitive I am.

As a funny aside to the paragraph above, I was in man cave sweating out the game last night while Connor and Nita were watching a spitting cobra episode of Crocodile hunter.  After the 200^th sack of Aaron Rodgers I shouted, “Mother F@#$%^.”  Nita came in the room and said, “Connor heard your little outburst and said, ‘Mommy, Daddy is calling you.’”  That actually made me laugh so hard I was crying.  I really have been watching my language in the house but I thought Connor had already gone to bed.  My bad.

Connor has grown into a booster chair now.  Yep, he’s riding tall using a real seatbelt.  And his new little booster is pretty slick.  It has movable arm rests and two cup holders.  He is very sweet about it too.  Josie will ask if she can put her sippy cup in his holder and he always agrees to do it.  Oh, and two pretty scary events happened yesterday. By the way was there a full moon or something?  What is up with Yesterday and this morning?  Anyway, Connor ended up in our bed last night.  I figured he’d gotten scared or something and Nita brought him downstairs to settle him down, but when she discovered him in the bed she took him back upstairs and tucked him in.  Apparently, my adorable son can unlock the baby gate at the top of the stairs now.  And he did just that and came down the stairs in the middle of the night.  Normally he gets to the top and calls for one of us and then Nita goes up and settles him down.  This is a new twist.

Now for those of you who have been to the house, you know our staircase.  It is charming, but probably the most dangerous staircase available.  To make things worse, when we did the hardwood floors, we also did the stairs. In fact when Connor was first learning to walk up the stairs and Pete would come by; he’d hold his breath every time he got about half way up.  Pete said, “My heart just stops right at the turn where it starts to narrow.” 

A couple of years ago, Nita went to go check on Connor in the middle of the night and missed the last step and took a little tumble. So I went out and bought some glow in the dark tape.  You know like the stuff that they use on stages for marking your spot in the dark?  And actually my mom took a little tumble leaving our house through the garage and cracked a rib just before we flew down to the Valley a couple Christmas’ back.  So I put the tape on the bottom seven steps and made a little runway for mom in the garage in case she didn’t turn the light on.  This morning Connor wasn’t talking too much about why he came down the stairs or how it went (he does kind of sleep walk a little too), so I’m not sure if he used the tape as a guide or not.  All I know is I’m a little freaked out about it and need to put an extra stopgap on the gate.

This morning Josie was nice enough to show me how she’s learned to climb up into her crib all by herself.  She does it by pulling herself up, using her rail and mattress as footholds and then launching herself headfirst over the rail onto the mattress.  She laughs as she catches herself with her hands and head and then flips on her side.  Yes I visualize her next move all too clearly.  So we have to ask if it is time for a princess bed (lower to the ground of course), or do we try to reason with a 2 year old and convince her that it is dangerous to climb on furniture (while watching brother bounce from item to item like the ground was a crocodile infested moat).  So there is that. 

Josie’s vocabulary and thought progression is taking huge strides.  In addition to singing songs and general parroting, she is really focusing on connecting dots.  For example, she’s crazy into Halloween right now and one of the books she wants read (about five times in a row) is the “Clifford’s first Halloween book.”  There is a page where Clifford (the big red dog) gets some bones from a neighbor while trick or treating with Emily.  Josie thinks that a skeleton must have given him the bones because skeletons have bones. 

This weekend a dear old friend got married and we brought Connor to the reception.  Well, he found the dessert bar and after 20 peanut M&Ms, some Reece’s pieces, and a few gummy bears, Connor transformed into Tony Manero and lit up the dance floor.  His best move is to run around in circles until he gets dizzy and then fall down.  We used to force pledges to do that, I’m guessing he won’t need much prodding if that comes up in his future.  Josie also knows this move and last night while mommy was finishing up dinner we had a little dance party complete with percussion instruments in the formal living room.  It was pretty fun.  The kids are growing up so fast it blows my mind.  I’m not sure I’m ready for all the cha cha cha cha changes.  One change I am ready for is the old NFL refs.  Y’all come back now ya hear!

Three times the fun

Our house was built in the Seventies and aside from the sunken living room and a few other kitschy things it’s pretty normal.  The original owners did put a lot of shrubbery and jasmine around the base of the house and occasionally it has an effect.  For example, recently after big rains, like heavy flash flooding rains, one of the air conditioning drain pipes clog.  Then it shuts off and we have to clean it out, etc.  This time we decided, time for a permanent solution.  We’re going to dig a little French drain and let the water run off and remove the dirt so no mud can just float in and clog the pipe.  So I stopped by Lowes, bought a small (Connor-sized) shovel and some pea gravel.  Now the Connor-sized shovel was due to the confined work space I had to work in between the house and the shrubs.  I didn’t realize it was foreshadowing.

Now we have a few rules around the house, one of which is: Connor plays with toys not with tools.  Connor has his own fisher price tools and is not allowed to play with daddy’s.  I’d be horrified if he was swinging a hammer around and the human shadow (Josie) came up and caught one in the eye socket.  At the same time Connor has flipped the bet.  So remember in last year’s Christmas letter when I said Josie was winning?  Well she still does show more interest in playing catch than Connor does, but he is a REALLY good boy and she decided not to merely dip her toe into the terrible twos, she did a cannon-ball with a LOT of splash.  So I’m actually tired of being the “no-police” for Connor when he’s a really well-mannered boy about 99% of the time, okay 95%. 

So Connor sees all the stuff in my trunk and starts helping me unload the stuff.  He asks about the shovel, “What are you going to do daddy?”  I tell him I’m going to dig a French drain.  On cue he says, “Can I help.”  This time I say, “Sure buddy, go grab that shovel.”  He lights up like a Christmas tree and runs to get the tool.  I start digging up the channel and Connor is helping me by holding the tools.  About two chops into the dirt I hit a pretty intricate root system from the holly bushes.  I tell Connor we’re going to need an axe.  “An AXE?!” He squeals.  One more tangent.  Remember we’ve been talking about the Wizard of Oz for a couple of years.  To try to get him refocused on the main characters we bought a little plastic axe at the Halloween store.  He’s been chopping stuff around the house for about 2 weeks now and has been begging to chop down a tree.  I told him, “Don’t worry son you’ll get your tree.” 

If you were with me back about 8 or 9 months ago I wrote a blog about going to dinner with two friends and I’d just watched Where the Red Fern Grows.  I told the other couple we’d gone with that in one scene the boy has to cut down a tree that he promised his dogs that he’d cut down if they ever “treed a raccoon.”  It happened to be the largest tree in Appalachia.  As the parents went to check on him the local judge happened along and made the comment, “I guess every boy ought to have a tree like that to cut down at least once in his life.”  In my opinion, I think we all need a big test where it would be easy to quit, but instead we push through and persevere.  We challenge ourselves and find that something that we weren’t quite sure we had, but then we know if we ever need it again we can get it.  Great coaches push their players to find that confidence.  It’s those moments that allow us to overcome adversity in our adult lives. 

So I started rethinking the Axe thing because at that moment I knew I wasn’t going to have a casual bystander.  Luckily Nita was putting Josie down for a nap at this time so I only needed one extra set of eyes.  I grabbed a hoe and some long pruning cutters and started on my trench.  Connor would ask for whatever tool I didn’t happen to be using at the time.  About 2 minutes into the project, I knew I needed to give him a job and it couldn’t be trivial, this was as much his project as it was mine.  So there I went digging around Connor and letting him help clip the roots and shovel out loose dirt.  Of course when you are doing any project with an almost 4 year old, it is not a well-organized, seamless job.  It’s kind of like herding cats…in the rain…next to a pond. 

Anywho, Connor is loving each instruction he’s given and is even pointing out what a good listener he is.  “See daddy, you asked for the cutters and I gave them to you right away.”  We’ve been working on following instructions the first time around the house.  It’s nice to see that taking off.  Anyway, after about 45 minutes the hole is half dug we’re both sweaty and Connor can’t wait to show mommy what a great job we did.  “Look mommy, we’re doing some hard work!”  A friend came over and said, “Hey buddy someone vandalized your car.”  “What do you mean,” I answered? “They left some work gloves on your hood.”  I guess it has been a while since anyone has seen me do some manual labor, but I still got it. J  So I’ll finish it up today and get some pea gravel down but it sure was fun doing the project and watching Connor just eat it all up.  Towards the end, I was remembering a bunch of projects my dad and I did together when I was little and how I loved to help him.  I remember fixing our little tractor, roofing, changing the oil, plugs, and other car stuff (back when people worked on their own cars). 

I sure do hope that Connor and I find hundreds of more projects to do together.  It really was fun and it’ll keep me sharper.  Josephine too.  Don’t get me wrong I’d love for her to be a little flowery princess.  But I also hope that girl wants to grab a hammer and build a dog house, put up a fence or something like that with us someday.  You know get some dirt under your nails kind of stuff, even if it takes three times longer.

Don’t blink.

It is probably the most common advice any parent gives any new parent.  Of all the tips about sleeping when the baby sleeps, and infant acid reflux, toilet training, etc., “Don’t blink” is by far the one we heard the most.  And WOW are these kids growing up fast.  Yesterday we took Connor and Josie to Hope Presbyterian for their first day of fall preschool.  Now this is Connor’s third fall and Josie’s first.  The ladies who were Connor’s first teachers have been watching Josie from newborn to yesterday with anticipation for her to be in class.  It was the sweetest thing when Mrs. Michelle saw Josie, extended her arms and said, “Give me that beautiful girl.  I’ve been waiting almost two years for you.”  Then she hugged her tightly and Josie’s smile was as big as could be.  After class Michelle said that Josie talked non-stop. 

Connor’s first day was equally impressive.  He walked in and the teacher said, can you find your cubby and put your back pack in it?  Connor identified his name and put away his little back pack.  He told us about the books they read, who he played with, and how his day went.  This is the same little boy who had to bring his lovie and pacifier with him.  Wow, where did the time go.  I still remember taking the picture of a pregnant Nita walking Connor in his little froggy rain galoshes to his first day of school.  Was that really two years ago?

One of the requirements of preschool for Connor was being potty trained.  Now the funny thing is Josie has been watching Connor’s potty training and all the positive attention he’s been getting.  So guess what?  She has decided she wants to sit on the potty like a “big girl.”  The problem or rather funniest thing is she doesn’t want the little seat cheater.  Since Connor doesn’t use one, she doesn’t need one either.  I obviously am not going to post a picture of this, but imagine a little 22 month old girl straddling an adult large-mouth toilet seat hanging on for dear life trying to do her little business.  Now I know she is only trying to double the treat production for her and Connor.  But I appreciate both her effort in trying to go potty and her connecting the dots that going potty means getting treats.  If she could somehow be out of diapers by the time our cruise rolls around next year, well that would be something. 

I started a website to share pictures and videos the day Connor was born and it has been pretty fun to go back and see what Connor was doing at a certain age compared to Josie.  Now to be fair Josie loves to mimic Connor and wants to do what he is doing.  But there are some things that Connor hasn’t shown her, but he did at her age.  For example Bat races.  It is basically spinning around until you get dizzy and fall down.  Josie has been doing this for a few weeks; Connor discovered this and was taped on September 19, 2010.  I even got to make the same joke.  “Daddy usually spends $50 on bourbon for that feeling.”  In any case, Josie was doing it just before dinner and was having a blast.  She is now running through the house at all opportunities.  No more casual walking, she’s got someplace to be. 

Halloween is going to be interesting.  Josie is FASCINATED with it.  She wants me to tell her stories about it constantly.  My hunch is that she likes both dressing up and candy and Halloween seems like the perfect intersection of the two.  She is also a little wishy-washy in that she keeps changing her mind on what she wants to be for Halloween.  I have this incredible feeling that we’ll have two 2T costumes this year.  Plus Nita has lost control of the situation.  I had been steering the kids into the Wizard of Oz.  Now we all know there are four main characters.  Dorothy, Lion, Scarecrow, and Tin man, right?  Well, so far, Josie wants to be Glenda the good witch and Connor wants to be Toto.  Come on!  How do you mess this up!  We went to a costume store last weekend and bought Connor an axe.  So I’m trying to re-groom him for one of the main guys.  But that means that my dumb ass will probably get stuck in a lion suit.  Oh well, it’s all fun.  And just teasing Nita, I think Josie would be an adorable Glenda and Connor is already practicing his barking.

I’ve been making up stories for the kids bedtimes and dinner fodder for years.  I basically start with Prince Connor and Princess Josie and just kind of go crazy from there.  It has led to some funny results.  First we got so many compliments from Connor’s teachers on his imagination.  They said he would make up these wonderful and creative stories.  So Tuesday after nap the babysitter was feeding them a snack and Connor was practicing his doggie bark and kitty cat “meow.”  She asked if he had a cat.  He said, “We used to have a dog when I was little.  Then he ate the cat.”  Her eyes got really big and she looked at me and I said, “Well, not really.  We had a dog, but he never ate a cat.  He got skunked once, but that was about it.”  She said, “I can’t believe I fell for that, but he was so believable.”  Uh oh.

Speaking of blinking where did the 90s and 2000s go?  Nita and I went to the Def Leppard/Poison show two nights ago (and yes my ears are still ringing a little).  Wow am I a party loser?!  I cannot hang like I used to.  Now seriously, to my old high school and college friends, and some into my 30s…Could I bring it?  You know I could find another gear.  Now, I’m stuck in second with a flat tire and an oil leak.  Seriously, Nita and I were in bed before midnight and 7AM felt like a sledgehammer.  In fact, I could use a nap.