Our house was built in the Seventies and aside from the sunken living room and a few other kitschy things it’s pretty normal. The original owners did put a lot of shrubbery and jasmine around the base of the house and occasionally it has an effect. For example, recently after big rains, like heavy flash flooding rains, one of the air conditioning drain pipes clog. Then it shuts off and we have to clean it out, etc. This time we decided, time for a permanent solution. We’re going to dig a little French drain and let the water run off and remove the dirt so no mud can just float in and clog the pipe. So I stopped by Lowes, bought a small (Connor-sized) shovel and some pea gravel. Now the Connor-sized shovel was due to the confined work space I had to work in between the house and the shrubs. I didn’t realize it was foreshadowing.
Now we have a few rules around the house, one of which is: Connor plays with toys not with tools. Connor has his own fisher price tools and is not allowed to play with daddy’s. I’d be horrified if he was swinging a hammer around and the human shadow (Josie) came up and caught one in the eye socket. At the same time Connor has flipped the bet. So remember in last year’s Christmas letter when I said Josie was winning? Well she still does show more interest in playing catch than Connor does, but he is a REALLY good boy and she decided not to merely dip her toe into the terrible twos, she did a cannon-ball with a LOT of splash. So I’m actually tired of being the “no-police” for Connor when he’s a really well-mannered boy about 99% of the time, okay 95%.
So Connor sees all the stuff in my trunk and starts helping me unload the stuff. He asks about the shovel, “What are you going to do daddy?” I tell him I’m going to dig a French drain. On cue he says, “Can I help.” This time I say, “Sure buddy, go grab that shovel.” He lights up like a Christmas tree and runs to get the tool. I start digging up the channel and Connor is helping me by holding the tools. About two chops into the dirt I hit a pretty intricate root system from the holly bushes. I tell Connor we’re going to need an axe. “An AXE?!” He squeals. One more tangent. Remember we’ve been talking about the Wizard of Oz for a couple of years. To try to get him refocused on the main characters we bought a little plastic axe at the Halloween store. He’s been chopping stuff around the house for about 2 weeks now and has been begging to chop down a tree. I told him, “Don’t worry son you’ll get your tree.”
If you were with me back about 8 or 9 months ago I wrote a blog about going to dinner with two friends and I’d just watched Where the Red Fern Grows. I told the other couple we’d gone with that in one scene the boy has to cut down a tree that he promised his dogs that he’d cut down if they ever “treed a raccoon.” It happened to be the largest tree in Appalachia. As the parents went to check on him the local judge happened along and made the comment, “I guess every boy ought to have a tree like that to cut down at least once in his life.” In my opinion, I think we all need a big test where it would be easy to quit, but instead we push through and persevere. We challenge ourselves and find that something that we weren’t quite sure we had, but then we know if we ever need it again we can get it. Great coaches push their players to find that confidence. It’s those moments that allow us to overcome adversity in our adult lives.
So I started rethinking the Axe thing because at that moment I knew I wasn’t going to have a casual bystander. Luckily Nita was putting Josie down for a nap at this time so I only needed one extra set of eyes. I grabbed a hoe and some long pruning cutters and started on my trench. Connor would ask for whatever tool I didn’t happen to be using at the time. About 2 minutes into the project, I knew I needed to give him a job and it couldn’t be trivial, this was as much his project as it was mine. So there I went digging around Connor and letting him help clip the roots and shovel out loose dirt. Of course when you are doing any project with an almost 4 year old, it is not a well-organized, seamless job. It’s kind of like herding cats…in the rain…next to a pond.
Anywho, Connor is loving each instruction he’s given and is even pointing out what a good listener he is. “See daddy, you asked for the cutters and I gave them to you right away.” We’ve been working on following instructions the first time around the house. It’s nice to see that taking off. Anyway, after about 45 minutes the hole is half dug we’re both sweaty and Connor can’t wait to show mommy what a great job we did. “Look mommy, we’re doing some hard work!” A friend came over and said, “Hey buddy someone vandalized your car.” “What do you mean,” I answered? “They left some work gloves on your hood.” I guess it has been a while since anyone has seen me do some manual labor, but I still got it. J So I’ll finish it up today and get some pea gravel down but it sure was fun doing the project and watching Connor just eat it all up. Towards the end, I was remembering a bunch of projects my dad and I did together when I was little and how I loved to help him. I remember fixing our little tractor, roofing, changing the oil, plugs, and other car stuff (back when people worked on their own cars).
I sure do hope that Connor and I find hundreds of more projects to do together. It really was fun and it’ll keep me sharper. Josephine too. Don’t get me wrong I’d love for her to be a little flowery princess. But I also hope that girl wants to grab a hammer and build a dog house, put up a fence or something like that with us someday. You know get some dirt under your nails kind of stuff, even if it takes three times longer.
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