I've been chopped

I got chopped

This week the kids had vacation bible school (VBS).  Nita and I love hearing all the stories and songs the kids are binging home.  Way back when we first started looking at preschool options we had a discussion about what we ultimately wanted to accomplish.  I had two requirements: 1. Have fun; 2. Sing songs about Jesus.  We experienced way more than that but mission accomplished on that one.  Josie has finally finished her last year at Hope Presbyterian and we are both happy and sad that she is graduating.  This VBS might be their last hurrah there…but I hope not.

This week was an off week for me.  With the Aggies bounced from the College World Series and the Rangers playing on the west coast (games start at 9pm) I found myself watching a lot of cooking shows.  During my “on” week especially, but it bled over to this week too. I'm starting to think the kids might like watching these competitive cooking shows more than actual sporting events.  I enjoy the creativity and range these chefs show, and of course the competition.  One show we watch in particular is on the food network and it is called “chopped.”  The premise is as follows:  Four chefs compete in three rounds which include an appetizer, entrée, and dessert with one being eliminated by a panel of three judges after each round.  The rub is the ingredients they must incorporate into their dishes are revealed to them just before the round and they have between 20 and 30 minutes to transform the item as well as present a nice plate and great taste.  So they are racing against the items (which rarely fit together) and the clock.  At the end the winner gets $10,000 while the losers get “chopped” after each round.

Chef Nita making Christmas cookies with the kids

So after a solid week and a half of these cooking shows with the kids, they started rating and judging Nita at the dinner table.  Unfortunately on two nights she was chopped.  One for “plating” and another for “timing” (one side item came out several minutes after the entrée).  It was hilarious to hear the children talking like the judges. For example, picture Josie (the five year old) saying, “Chef Nita, I like what you’ve done here.  I like the combination of sweet and savory.  Your meat was tender and cooked well, but I’m going to have to chop you.  Unfortunately your side was late and I couldn’t judge your whole plate at the same time.”  She then handed me an imaginary bundle of cash.  “Chef Marco, you win the $10,000.”We laughed and laughed.  Of course Connor was not to be outdone.  He then submitted his interpretation as a judge. 

 

So what is your point Marco?  Well let me tell you.  It inspired two things.  First, what would I do with an extra ten grand?  Second, am I challenging myself in the kitchen at all with these new found knowledge and techniques?

On the ten grand, we started talking about trips.  Connor’s love of nature, sea animals, reptiles, etc. meant that our choices be somewhere near an ocean, maybe tropical. Josie loves the beach and pretty things that smell nice.  So we thought about Hawaii.  Nita and I have been a couple of times way back before the kids and thought it would be nice to take them someday…soon.  So I promised them that we would take them at some point while I was still with them (not in as grizzly a way as I put it here obviously).  However, I need to reconcile my employment situation before anything like this happens even if handed a bundle of cash.  I’ve got to take care of the big rocks before I go off adding little rocks here.  I’d call a new job a big rock given the circumstances and Hawaii a big, but smaller rock right now.

The other thing was the challenge.  So on one show a guy made homemade pasta, with rolled up prosciutto and fontina cheese.  He cut them into sections and made little roses.  The dish is called “Rosette di pasta” or pasta roses.  I decided to make them for the kids while Nita went to a girl’s night.  I would put myself before the judges and see what happened.  Well I pulled it off.  They came out pretty good and I had neither tried this dish nor had I ever made pasta before.  It wasn’t that hard really, but it came out thicker than I wanted.  Looks like Nita might be getting that Kitchen aid mixer pasta attachment.  And I did get chopped…but in the dessert round.  Apparently the store bought mousse with mixed berry compote was too “tart” and Judge Josie had to chop me.  Connor thought it was great.  Tough crowd.

So cooking and money are two things that have been on my mind lately.  The former is currently within my control, the latter I’m working on.  But the more I thought about it, I came to an epiphany. I think I have been spending the right amount of time building my children’s memories but not nearly enough strengthening my marriage.  Nita has been doing things to keep everything on track and I haven’t whisked her away on a trip or a weekend getaway…ever…since the kids I mean.  We used to do it a lot before the kids. 

My mother tells me that before I was born and when they were living in DC, my father (who worked so much overtime it was silly) would spontaneously say, “Let’s go to New York for the weekend.”  And Boom they were off.  Once they went to Mexico for a few days with friends and dumped me with my grandmother, but that was the only time I remember them doing it with me.  Dad planned to do a lot of traveling in retirement…but God bless him he never made it.  Unless the lotto hits, I won’t either.

An analyst once told us that we are a conglomeration of ages and at any given time an event triggers a response from an age range within us.  For example (not a real example), Say I lose my temper with my buddy Jim Smithston.  I start yelling at him and telling him what he should be doing.  He hears me as his father yelling at him in his mind.  He reverts to his 11 year old self and responds as an 11 year old would.  He shuts down, raises his voice like a tween, calls me names, and storms off in a huff.  Conversely Jim asks my opinion on something I know about and I respond like 50 year old professor speaking calmly and confidently about the subject.

Now this advice was given to us when we had young children.  He said, be aware that Connor is 3 and will respond as a 3 year old, Josie is 1, but your Marriage is 7…so you need to give the marriage the attention a seven year old needs.  Being totally honest, neither one of us did a great job of giving our marriage that age appropriate attention, but it never rocked our marriage (dinged of course, rocked no).  We definitely spent a lot of time giving the kids age appropriate attention, but not each other.  Luckily this current family trauma (another gift) has made us stronger and tighter…but it is time to give our 12 year old some love. 

I figured where is an inexpensive destination where great food would be involved?  Why New Orleans, Louisiana fits the bill don’t you think?  I still have 80K miles in my Marriott account, so giddy up JW Marriott in Nola it is.  We’ll coordinate the moms and perhaps a mother’s helper or two and do a quick two night weekend getaway.  I’ll have to time it with my chemo schedule, but I’m sure we’ll make it work.  We can finally give our marriage some attention and alone time, not break the bank, and keep with our food theme.  And let’s face it, what am I waiting for?  The doctor plainly said, do what you can while you can.

The victors drink from the cup

So what is today’s lesson?  Make the simple things amazing.  Everyday occurrences can be made into very entertaining contests filled with laughter.  Don’t put off things thinking you’ll have plenty of time.  You never know when you’ll be called before the gates.  Take a little trip, have fun…it doesn’t have to be meticulously planned out or expensive to let a little spontaneity creep back in.  Don’t forget to give your marriage/relationship attention (if applicable).  Be a good mother/father (if applicable), but don’t neglect your other child…the marriage (also if applicable).  To my sister in arms Rachel who is starting her first round of Fulfiri infusions this week:  Stay strong, we are praying for you and don’t forget to stay ahead of your meds.  Finally, challenge yourself.  You just might be surprised about what you can pull off.  Oh and for those of you thinking the title was about something else…chemo makes you sterile, so there’s that.  TeamMarco@austin.rr.com