Happy Birthday from St. David's Medical Center

Happy birthday from St. David’s Medical Center

And why not?  I spent Valentine’s day in MD Anderson getting my spleen destroyed and will likely be at MD Anderson getting chemo on my anniversary.  I suppose fighting to get healthy is better than having a party when you can’t really eat much anyway, isn’t it?  The silver lining is that one of my doctor buddies called ahead and I ended up with the absolute best nursing staff.  Two of them were the nurse of the year, to add validity to the claim.

The kids had early release on Wed, so they had a bake sale for Without Regrets, the organization that sent us to Hawaii

I have learned a lot about chemotherapy over the last year and almost eight months.  I’ve learned a lot about pneumonia in the last few days and weeks.  First, there are a lot of people who think they had pneumonia, but only had a respiratory infection.  Not that we’re keeping score or judging, but pneumonia is a full shut down of some of the little pockets in parts of your lungs due to inactivity and coagulating mucus. 

In very simplistic terms, what happens is the mucus in your lungs starts to thicken due to infection; coughing either hurts or is annoying, so to guard against it you take shallower breaths.  Those shallow breaths don’t allow full lung expansion and expulsion of the mucus.  So it sits and more layers of mucus come in to cover the pending infection.  Rinse and repeat.  The next layer is either expelled or it starts to harden with the bottom layers.  Unused pockets called alveoli which are usually happily helping supply oxygen to the heart and rest of the body shut down.  So there are fewer resources available to oxygenate your body.  That is bad.

Counterintuitively, instead of rest, activity and deep breaths are what you really need to treat yourself. When you sit or lie down on your side you constrict your lungs and therefore artificially reduce your capacity.  You give the little mucus warriors crevices and crannies to hide and stick to each other. So you need to stand, walk, move and get deep breaths into your lungs, which will cause coughing fits; but will start to expel the sputum.  That is good.  It is also harder than it sounds.  Your body is sore and you are tired.  Plus with so much less food intake, your energy is zapped.  I did not do those things, I was told to rest.  So I did, which probably compounded the problem.  Which as we can see now is bad.

Breathing treatments, oxygen treatments, and antibiotics are the most common response medically.  However, if you are lucky enough to be me, you find that four separate antibiotics do not work.  So you are hospitalized and they’ll eventually do a bronchoscopy.  They stick a tube and camera into your lungs and wash out some of the junk, take a biopsy to identify the type of pneumonia, and hopefully will be able to treat it immediately after the results are back.  Very much like the splenic embolism, it is fine immediately after the procedure, but extremely painful later.  My lungs, throat, and whole body are sore after the first night.

Breathing is supposed to be exponentially better after the wash.  That is good because my measured oxygen levels dropped from the high 90s (97-98) to the low 90s (90-92).  This did not happen for me and I was put on oxygen.  The wash was brief as you cannot irritate too much of the lung anyway.  Compounding this is (if you remember), I also have cancer in my lungs, so there is that.

Friday April 7, I had my bronchoscopy.  I was really looking forward to taking long slow deep breaths again.  And by now, my stomach has shrunk for sure.  So I will more than likely have to ease into eating larger meals again not unlike a starvation victim or those idiots who go on hunger strikes.  But I must say, I do look a lot better.  From a vanity perspective, I am just about where my wedding weight was, maybe a bit lower.  In fact, I had to have my ring re-sized a few years ago and now it is slipping off my finger. 

Once the anesthesia wore off, both my lungs and my throat were on fire. As you probably know from accidentally inhaling water or bourbon, your lungs don’t like irritants and you cough like crazy to get it out.  Well imagine doing it while your lungs were sore as if after a really hard cross fit workout.  Then the coughing to expel the loosened mucus.  Well it doesn’t just come right to the top like calling your dog. You have to work it to the top.  That means your abs and what feels like your whole body are working overtime.

A doctor from AY sent me a note stating that it might be whooping cough.  He sent all the symptoms and the process which the Chinese call the “100 day cough.”  I sent it along to my wife and a friend. My buddy was upset that the good Samaritan sent all the details.  Now in fairness to said buddy, he literally feels pain for me and my ailments, literally. Much like pregnancy sympathy pains I suppose.  In any case, I told him, that I could take the details and that I wasn’t a pu$$y.  He replied, “Hey fight terminal cancer, hey fight pneumonia, hey lose your appetite and lose almost 40 pounds, hey fight a dying spleen, hey fight whooping cough…’not a puss’ is an understatement.”  I suppose I have been thought a bunch.  But I can say this without losing face, this hurts like hell.  I have a theory that all my recent ailments are a system called, “in order to fix it we have to f…hurt you a little/lot.”

But my faith is strong, my support group is awesome, and my family is quick to bring a smile to my face.  Wednesday when I was admitted to the hospital, I missed another of Josie’s tee ball games.  Turns out she got a couple of hits, and two put outs.  One was a play in the outfield where she threw the ball in and they tagged out the runner.  Second, she was playing short and fielded a ball and tagged out a slow reacting runner. 

A dear family friend had her over for a playdate on Thursday and offered to bring her to the hospital.  Just her, not Connor.  I had a nice little talk with her, just the two of us.  She was so sweet and all smiles.  I found out later that when Nita was talking with them, they were both concerned that “Daddy may not be coming home.”  She assured them that of course I would be home and better than ever.  It is really hard to anticipate the severity of the situation in a child’s mind.  I wish I knew the right things to do or say, but I can only do my best.  Apparently, Josephine is telling everyone who will listen about my medical issues.  I suppose she is unaware of HIPPA.  But either way, we need to get her someone to talk to about this.

Nita brought both kids after school on Friday and I spoke with them each individually.  It was a nice talk as I still had the anesthesia guarding my lungs and throat.  I assured them that daddy was tough and would be coming home very soon.

My birthday is always close to the Masters and Easter. Both represent hope and life don’t they?  I won’t go too deep, but Easter is a time when families celebrate together, a time of rebirth, and reminder of eternal life.  The Masters is probably the greatest golf event there is.  And anyone (who was invited) has a chance.  Sometimes the favorite wins, sometimes the favorite falls down the stairs.  Sometimes an unlikely participant bubbles up to the top.  I always feel hope around this time of year, and this year is certainly no different.

Connor had a baseball tournament last weekend and he did well for him.  He got a hit when we needed it and even caught four innings over two of the three games.  He looked good behind the dish like his old man, maybe better than his old man.  I’m not sure if my being out there helped or hurt my situation. 

While in the hospital, an old baseball buddy of mine called.  He is having cancer surgery on Monday.  We spoke briefly and he said that my story and blog inspire him and have helped calm him a bit.  That is the goal, for you to find strength and hope through my struggles.  I willingly accept this challenge and have told God as much.

I will continue to fight, push on, and eventually win this battle.  Then I will go on and fight the next battle and try to win that one.  Rinse and repeat until hopefully I have won the war.  I hope you all enjoy the Masters, your families, and have faith that you too can overcome whatever obstacles are put in front of you. I can tell you right now, with the right mindset, you can accomplish and fight way more than you thought you could.  Trust me, you can, I believe in you.  Thanks for all the love, thoughts, prayers, and support.  God bless you, and happy Palm Sunday.