Housewarming for Soupy

Housewarming gifts usually stay with the hosts don’t they?  And I’m pretty sure it’s a violation of all etiquette books to take something home with you isn’t it? 

Well, we received an invitation to attend a housewarming to the home of friends we’ve known for about 20 years.  It was a whole family invitation and we were all excited to see how both kids would do in someone else's home.  So we packed up a nice bottle of wine, and the kiddos.  We got there and mercifully Josie was still asleep from the car ride.  Connor however, saw a puppy dog and was off and running.  Then Josie woke up and we switched off.  Connor and I ran through the house and played with some of the older kids toys.  It was a lovely party with fun crackers and the house was beautiful.  Here is where I didn’t realize I was getting snookered….by a cute little 8 year old girl.  The question, simple and innocuous enough went like this, "Do you want to see my turtle?" 

Connor of course LOVES all sea animals, Nemo, etc.  So Connor just fell in love with the turtle.  Mark, the host said, "Do you want it? Take it!"  His wife Christine said, "Seriously, we've had him five years and I'm the only one who even looks at it anymore." 

I said, "Sure." Nita said, “How hard can taking care of a turtle be?"  We decided to name him Soupy.  Just in case we're really bad at turtle parenting, well there's always ... well you know.  We more than likely wouldn't eat soupy, but it's also very cute the way a 2 and a half year old says, “Good night Soupy.”  So I had to fly out on Sunday, but all he could talk about Saturday and Sunday morning was Soupy, Soupy, Soupy.  We went to mom's house for breakfast and it was Soupy the HUGE sea turtle (he's a little aquatic turtle about four inches or so in diameter). 

Thanks to the internet we all have access to information.  Have you ever noticed that no one gives two hoots about how you raise your dog. You can hit it with the paper, pick it up by the collar, smack it on the butt, crate it, and rub its nose in poop.  But bring home a turtle who has happily been in the same environment for five years... and EVERY one is an expert on how you are doing it wrong.  It’s worse than your first child.  Ever notice how the morning you bring home your bundle of joy (child not turtle) you already have 15 voicemails on how to burp, change, swaddle, raise, discipline, feed, and soothe your baby?  And don’t forget the 200 emails on proper clothing, how to pick a preschool, church, and the proper amount of the first check for their college fund.  I’m telling you only bringing home a turtle comes close.

 I'm not going to name names, but if it gets any worse, Soupy really may end up with some potatoes in a nice broth.  Or we'll have a little neighborhood party, rent a jumpy castle and lure some unsuspecting kids over...... bait and prepare to set the hook, "Hey, there neighbor!  Wanna see my turtle?"