At lunch today with a few colleagues, someone made a pun about Patty Duke. And of course since we immediately started talking about the TV line ups of the time. Gilligan’s island, Love Boat, Brady Bunch, and of course Leave it to Beaver. The humor was simple, the lessons were obvious (except love boat), and the times were pretty good. Wasn’t it amazing that in 30 minutes you could get yourself into quite a pickle and then solve the problem? Honesty was always the best policy (except love boat) and dad was always right. My, how things have changed.
Reality TV is now the chic new style of programming. Desperate jersey shore jackass surviving housewives who want to catch cheating Idol spouses dancing. Grab the popcorn honey, I think this guy is going to actually commit suicide on live TV! Music too has changed quite a bit. Now I know Elvis had mother’s dragging their daughters to their preachers and priests attempting to force the Devil out of these subversive weak minds. And every generation since has had as their modus operandi a need to shock their parents, but holy shit, what could possibly be next? In 11 years when Connor is a teenager, what will be the hip thing?
Will music be even more misogynistic and violent? Or will it return to doo wop music? Don’t get me wrong, I have turned my hat sideways and thrown down a rap or two and I certainly was a metal head in high school, and college, and okay, I’m still kind of a metal head. (Rock on Ripper!!!). But now that I’m older I really thought Metallica’s S&M DVD was pretty amazing. For those of you who think I went off the deep end, no I didn’t watch Metallica engage in lewd acts that would have given Maplethorpe another NEA grant, they did a concert with the San Francisco Symphony. Symphony and Metallica, S&M. Anyway, what is next on TV? I’m really praying this reality fad is almost over. I don’t want to watch average people do stupid things to get their 15 minutes. I personally think youtube is going to ruin the political ambitions of every kid who could actually make a difference later and leave only the 535 people each year who couldn’t get a date to the prom and have never been to a party.
Speaking of youtube, how many of you, and I mean YOU my dear friends could have stood the test of constant surveillance? Could you imagine cameras (whether on stoplights, buildings, or phones) constantly filming your every move? And further, could you imagine anyone posting all these things for all to see without you knowing or potentially even ever finding out? I did some pretty stupid things, and some of you were with me, I mean how can kids survive this insanity? And email and texting is so ADD and quick. At least back in the day when we wrote a girl a love note we had the ability to agonize over every word and when they got it, it usually contained several erase marks. And it certainly did not contain a picture of our junk Congressman Weiner! Maybe if you REALLY liked her you made her a mix tape or the words rhymed. And we clearly didn’t ask for a picture of their junk back. What is up with this stuff today? Parents of teenagers, how do you deal with this now?
So back to my point. Are all of you scared to death about what is next? Are you optimistic? Do you think in our cyclical nature of fashion that we just might get another American Graffiti (where cruising did not involve going to a park)? That maybe June will virtually come into our study, hand us a scotch and tell us that dinner will be ready in 20 minutes…and that she’s a little worried about the beaver. Maybe I should put down the Kindle and go talk to him. As I walk up the stairs will I be engulfed in nostalgia as “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” wafts from under his door? Or will I walk into Connor’s room and hear gunfire and screams as the beat sample for the new hit single, “Kill your Dad now before he grounds you fool!” While Josie is taking pictures of herself to send to her new digital pen pal in prison, or worse congress!
I think I’ll take that scotch now June, even Eddie Haskell wasn’t so bad.
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