Last week I was casually scanning craigslist for big boy beds I saw one that struck my fancy. It was a Thomas Train bed in South Austin. I pitched it to Nita and she began to explain to me that she didn’t think he was quite ready and the crib was still fine. However she humored me and said we could go “look” at it.
We enjoyed the 20 minute drive to Travis Country and sang songs on the way. When we got there it looked good, in fact, I started taking it apart pretty quickly. Connor was captivated with the other little boy’s train table and his Thomas cars and trucks and mostly stayed out of the way. I loaded everything in Nita’s SUV and we headed back home. When we got home, I figured I could assemble it while the kids had lunch. Connor wasn’t having it, insisting he help me. I should have seen this coming.
Josie has been getting more mobile as each week goes by. She’s also been pulling herself up and cruising. For those who don’t have kids, cruising is holding on to objects and using them to balance while standing or walking upright, she isn’t looking for liaisons or trysts in the park. Because Josie had been pulling herself up in the crib, Nita asked me to drop the mattress to the lowest level a couple of months ago. She didn’t want her to lean too far and flip herself out of the crib. As soon as I entered the room with my tools, here comes Connor with his “little tykes” electric drill. He was going to help daddy. And Even though it took me four times longer, it was pretty cute. Connor had to hold all the screws and turn the screwdriver. He would get shoulder to shoulder with me while I was lining up the holes and wanted to hold the butterfly nut while I fed the screws into the holes. When I flipped the bed up for leverage he of course was completely in the way. And he and I had a lot of fun while mommy and Josie watched and giggled.
So I’m trying to take the pieces upstairs and Connor is determined to help me carry them upstairs. Then once everything is up and ready to assemble he’s taking the mallet and hammering everything that looks like it needs hammerin’. The crucial part to any project like this is really the initial connection of the base. Since you are building a cube/square base and not a triangle, it’s going to be completely unstable until you get the two sides and the back assembled. It is during this crucial part of the assembly that Connor is bumping me with Thomas’ face and funnel (the last part of the assembly). He’s straining because it is kind of heavy, but he’s holding it and with a little labored voice saying, “Here daddy, do this one.” I replied, “Connor please! Just hold Thomas over there, daddy really needs you out of the way.” So as he’s moving he kicks out the perfectly balanced (yet unassembled) base and I have to start over. Since I was trying to beat the clock for his lunch and nap this wasn’t as amusing as it is now. He continued to slow the process and I essentially started over about five times. Finally we got it and Connor finished it off by hammering all the edges.
While Nita and the kids had lunch, I went to Lowes and bought a couple of 2x6s and had them cut into 23 inch pieces. I layered the bottom so the mattress wouldn’t sag (Connor is a jumper). So we’re all set and ready for nap. I put him in the bed, put on his covers, kissed his cheek and said take a nap. This is pretty much all it takes in the crib. I then went to my office which is right across the hall and started doing some work. I saw his door open. I put him back in bed and said, Connor, time for bed. He got up again, too excited. Nita was furious at me. “I told you he wasn’t ready yet!” So she made me put the mattress back in his crib and put Connor back. Within minutes he was jumping. We have a video monitor so we were watching what he was doing. The other thing is at this point Josie is asleep and this is the “long nap” part of her two nap day.
Really, can you imagine that? Two naps. I’d kill a neighbor if I could have two naps a day. Actually I suppose if I killed a neighbor I’d have quite a bit of free time for napping. Okay, bad idea, back to the story.
At this point, Connor is calling for us and I’m on monitor patrol watching to make sure he doesn’t pull off his diaper. And then, bang, cry. Connor jumped over the side of the crib and was screaming. I came in the room and forgot all of my EMT training in 2 seconds. I picked him up before I established whether or not he had a head injury. He didn’t, but I’m just saying. In any case, he’d fallen on his back and was mostly scared…and he (insert half cry half whine voice) “wanted to sleep in Thomas bed.” At this point, Nita is, what comes after furious? [Ed. note: after Nita read this she send me an email. Apparently the answer is "A RED moment." Any of you who have red-heads in the family know what I mean.] In any case, I told her I’d manage it and I was mildly threatened/warned not to wake up Josie. I put Connor back in his bed and told him the deal. “Do NOT get out of this bed.” I reset the camera and went to my office with video monitor in hand. Within seconds I see his little head pop up and watch him head to the door. He opens and peeks out, “CONNOR,” and I snap my fingers. He slammed the door and jumped back in bed. About 30 seconds go by, and he does it again, slamming the door.
At this point it’s about preservation. I go in put him back in bed, cover him with the quilt and give him a swat. I told him, “Connor, do not get out of this bed.” I walked just outside his door and heard, “Ow. Ouch daddy, that hurt. Daaaaaadeeeeeee. Daddy! Daddy, I need some water.” I got him some water. I walked back in and lay down next to his bed. “Okay, C, you have got to stay in bed buddy. Or we’re both going to be in trouble.” His head pops up, “Daddy, I love you.” “I love you too Connor, but if you don’t stay down and take a nap we’re both going to be in trouble. And mommy is going to give daddy a spanking.” Connor then spanked himself and said, “Bad daddy!” I say, “I’m serious Connor. Mommy is going to be mad.” And he sat up in the bed and said, “This is mommy’s mad face. EEERRRRRR (monster voice)” while making a little mean face. I could not contain my laughter. My side almost hurt.
What I didn’t know was Nita had the second video monitor and was watching/listening to the whole thing. She came in and was laughing at both of us. Connor didn’t nap that day. The bad news was we had planned a date night for tonight. We had no idea which bed to use now. Connor had now jumped out of the crib and we had no idea if he’d stay all night in his no rails bed. The good news is our nanny came by to sit while we went out and really tuckered him out at the Chick-fil-a playscape. We got the text about 8:15. “Both kids asleep. Connor in big boy bed.”
Connor slept through the night, napped on Sunday, slept through the night on Sunday and again on Monday. Nita is no longer furious at me. If he makes it all the way to Saturday, looks like we’ll be selling a crib. And when I take it apart, I know a buddy with a drill who is dying to help me.
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