Thursday, November 5, 2015

Bourbon Saves the Holidays


Bourbon saves the holidays

Now some of you are already saying, “Duh, tell me something I don’t know.”  This, however, is actually a case of scheduling genius/luck.  It turns out the A&M v. Alabama bourbon game bought me more than a week with my pals.  More on that later.

This week was another infusion week. Infusion is the technical term for chemo, much like “accessing the port” means they are going to stick a needle in your shoulder and pump you full of fluid, some of it good, and some not so good, but necessary.  Monday was also my wife’s birthday, dia de los muertos which is NOT celebrated at chemo camp.  Go figure. I’m starting to get the hang of the routine and the faces and names are more and more familiar.

Oh, here is a tip, always buy stock in battery companies before the holidays, they usually out-perform.  And this year, I may single handedly boost Imodium sales, so I’d keep an eye on that company. I’m getting the hang of my timing and dosage.  It does cause some headaches though.  It made me think of a funny commercial.  Not sure if my mind came up with it or if it has already been done, but it would essentially be some guys standing around talking about their symptoms but instead of listing the drug name, they rattle off the side effects.  Zoom in on two guys talking about their symptoms and remedies.  “So Bill, how is that incontinence? Not bad Steve, I’m taking headaches, bloody nose, and numbness in my extremities, bloating, dizziness, and suicidal thoughts for it.  Thanks for asking.”

The nausea was worse this time than the last time.  I also developed some sores and thrush in my mouth, but my trusty buddy/wrestling bro/dentist had a mouth rinse compound made for me and it helped alleviate my mouth issues in a couple of days.  The nausea has been controllable with the meds, but the feeling doesn’t dissipate as easily this time.  I’ve also developed quite an affinity for Pedialyte. The results are I look like a frat boy being hazed when I’m by myself, and a happy thespian when the kids are around.  I have to keep reminding my mother to stop looking at me with pity or sadness when my children are in the room.  I’m working too hard on my appearance to give it all away like that.  I was warned that there would be a cumulative effect to the chemo, so here we go.

Tuesday I woke up feeling better.  Perhaps the Avastin has somewhat filtered out or my body got somewhat acclimated to it.  I wonder if it’s like Wesley in the Princess Bride and his tolerance to iocane powder, either way, I feel better.  One thing that bothers me is I don’t feel dangerous anymore.  Now I’m not saying that grown men should mix it up or get in fights and I can’t tell you the last time I actually threw a punch at another human stranger.  But I was always aware of my surroundings and felt I could hold my own. Now I think I could still do most of what I could, but am also very cognizant of the damage it could do to me.  For example, I won’t clot as easily now.  I even travel with a little “go bag” which includes a puke bag, saltines, water, Imodium, anti-nausea meds, and field-grade coagulant.  Not that I was some über bad ass, but I at least knew how to get a fight to the ground and take care of business.  In any case, I’m in “setting example for my kids” mode and maybe walking away from trouble is a better lesson than blowing up a d-bag.  However, if my wife or child are in danger…it’s go time.  I don’t care what happens to me, I’m on borrowed time anyway.

That being said, the aforementioned dentist has a son in Connor’s grade.  They love to play with each other and they rough house plenty (which he and I think is great). I think we’re going to either try to get some mat time, or just use my man cave and teach them to wrestle properly. There are a lot of great lessons you learn on the mat that carry you throughout your life. Plus it might be better for them to work with guys in their own weight class instead of two dads torturing their kids yelling for them to hook a leg, or get to your base, although Connor has always enjoyed wrestling and has never gotten upset even when I put a bunch of weight on him...my boy!

Josie decided she wanted to play baseball this spring and Connor is still on the fence.  So we’ll see.  That being on the table, I’m glad I chose diarrhea and hair loss over neuropathy.  Speaking of which, as of Wednesday I still have hair. I’m sitting at a crossroads here where my hair is getting a bit long and fro-ish, but do I wait it out or go get a haircut?  I also made a deal with my daughter. She has been VERY concerned about my potential hair loss.  So since she’s really into art the deal I made was if my hair goes, she can draw on my head and use it as a canvass. So when I come to Kyle field for the Aggie game in a week or so, I don’t want to hear any shit if there are butterflies and flowers on my head.  Or if I still have hair why it’s out of control.  Wednesday addendum.  While they were removing my pump I asked about my hair, they said it would take a few more weeks and it would gradually thin out, not fall out all at once like foghorn leghorn (“I keep my feathers numbered for just such an occasion”).  So I bit the bullet and got a haircut Wednesday after my fluids. 

I’m sure many of you are asking, “Marco, how is the flatulence?”  Well let me tell you.  It’s not good.  I’m not sure if it is a result of the surgery where they removed 9” of colon and cleared a blockage, the chemo, the constant barrage of anti-nausea meds stacked with Imodium, or the new diet.  But whatever the culprit, I’ve cleared more than one room.  And it is fairly constant.  Further, sorry ladies, it has gotten to the point where I can’t just excuse myself and leave the room, it has become too frequent and I’m not training for a 10K.  So there it is, this is my scent, know me.

In the intro I mentioned that bourbon and Aggie football saved the holidays.  Well lo and behold by waiting that extra week the entire holiday schedule unfolded beautifully.  My chemo weeks do not coincide with any holidays other than New Years.  My off weeks include: Halloween, my children’s birthday party, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the NCAA football playoffs (even Valentine’s Day is straddled).  How is that for getting lucky?  Who says God isn’t watching over me?

This week was also my wife’s birthday.  Unfortunately the actual day was my infusion day and instead of lunch with her girlfriends she wanted to come sit with me…winning!  Anyway, I asked a friend to deliver her birthday present while we were away and she loved it.  If you have time to read another blog, this is why we have a big metal rooster on our front porch.  http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/.  In any case, it has been an inside joke between us for years, it was the perfect gift this year, and the kids went insane with joy.  Our’s is not named Beyoncé but rather “shiny chicken” courtesy of the kiddos.  We had a nice dinner at home and some cake.  I wished we could have done more, but maybe later and clearly everyone understands.


Our golf club has two main money game groups.  Each group thinks they are better than the other and there is a lot of smack talk.  So ten years ago the gauntlet was thrown down and we started a Ryder cup style event with dinners, speeches, uniforms and everything.  We call it the Dawg Bowl, and there is a trophy and champagne at the end that the winners drink out of while the losers watch.  The dinner is funded by the loser from the previous year.  I’ve played in all 9 previous events.  Whether I was sick, hurt, it didn’t matter.  And I always put up points for the team.  Well this year was the first time I’ve missed this event, but the gang at the club still included me by giving me a group toast at the dinner held this week. I cannot tell you how much all the love and support mean to me. I am getting it from all directions and it is beyond humbling.  It also reminded me of a dawg bowl a few years back.  I was 5 holes down at the turn and some guy from the other team came and chirped at me about losing before we got to number 15 (our signature hole).  Well that lit a fire and I fought my way back to win 1-up on 18.  Never give up, never surrender is part of my character. I hope my kids pick it up and learn this lesson.  If they do, then my time circling the sun will not have been wasted.  I have a pretty good feeling and I hope you do too.  I also just received a nice little note from Coach Kevin Sumlin on Thursday.  To whomever set that up, thank you!  It made my day.


New wristbands are on order with glow in the dark lettering and youth sizes.  If interested, let me know.  TeamMarco@austin.rr.com.

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