Cha Cha Cha Changes...

Cha cha cha changes…

I probably should have done this closer to the David Bowie passing, but oh well.  First and foremost…the daddy daughter date was a resounding success.  As instructed by an army of moms and dads I did wear my tux, did come to the front door and ring the bell, and of course she received a corsage. Nita procured a matching boutonniere for me. My cousin Robert, who owns a mortuary, sent a limo (not a hearse) to pick us up and take us the entire mile to the club.  It was awesome and Josie felt as fancy as could be felt at five years old.  Nita even let her use the tiara from her wedding.  The night was fantastic and we danced almost the entire time.  I would not trade that moment for anything.  I wore a black felt hat and more than a few folks have said that should be my new look.  I wonder if it was just the tux dressing it up. Also, after the dance several of the dads went to Steiner Ranch Steakhouse to have a beverage.  We "settled" for the Pappy Van Winkle 10 year. Thanks Mike. 

 

 

Monday was my ninth treatment and they are definitely getting progressively harder.  Woof. I was nauseous and had the hiccups almost all Monday afternoon and most of the day Tuesday.  Wednesday most of the irinotecan must have passed through my system because I almost felt human.  This was the first time it actually affected my sleep. It was somewhat miserable.  Man I am really looking forward to getting 10-12 done so I can get a break, even if it is just a few weeks.  This junk is no fun.  However the upside is my CEA score came back and it was 1.4.  That is firmly in the normal level and WAY better than the 15.8 in October.  This is a pretty big swing and a very big deal.  This could symbolize a drastic change in both the size and density of my current tumors. I don’t want to get everyone’s hopes up too high, but my next CT scan could be nothing short of miraculous…but what else would you expect during Lent?

One thing I can honestly comment on: I kind of get it now.  Previously I mentioned that I don’t judge anyone for choosing not to go through this again after a relapse or when the cancer comes back.  I was judging on my mental state at the time and these hadn’t stacked up like they have now.  I still don’t believe I will give in, but I can very certainly understand someone who might be going through this in their twilight years and has watched their kids get married, maybe watched their grandkids open Christmas presents, say their first words, and walk, etc.  I can see how perhaps the thought is, “This is way too difficult to go through again, I’ve seen all I need to see, and like that last scene in Cheers, “Sorry we’re Closed.”

Kirby, here is my war face.

Ash Wednesday came and it was the same day as pump removal…I decided to parlay that into hair removal as well.  Yes, I had my head shaved down to a #2.  I can say with all honesty it is the very first buzz cut of my entire life.  I’m also glad I had it done professionally instead of at home like the original plan.  There was much more to it than just a few passes with the clippers. It doesn’t look or feel that bad.  But days later it is still somewhat shocking when I look in a mirror.  Like all things, I suppose it’ll take a little getting used to.  I’ll also have to get used to using sun screen on my head, but that will be somewhat offset by the gel and shampoo cost savings.  While going to get ashes with my daughter, Josephine asked me if the cancer was almost gone.  I responded, “I hope so sweetheart, I sure hope so.” “Would it be a miracle dad?” “I think so my love, and Easter is the perfect time isn’t it?” I replied.

Connor and Nita both love the new hairdo.  Connor called it “sick” and gave my head a hearty rub.  Nita said it looked a lot better than she expected, which is nice.  Once I got over the vanity aspect, I suppose it isn’t too bad.  The upside is I only use one half pump of shampoo instead of 2 ½, my hair looks the same even when I take my hat off, and neither wind nor humidity affect it anymore.  On a separate note, I am feeling allergies for the first time.  Man, those things suck don’t they?  Sorry for all you regular sufferers out there.

Two big events this weekend, baseball tryouts and Valentine’s Day.  I won’t go into my hallmark holiday routine, but what I will say is there is an upside to the medication.  My sense of smell is heightened, so the roses I bought for my wife, daughter, mother, and MIL all smell great in the house.  I can literally smell them two rooms away.  Talk about stopping to smell the roses, how about not even having to stop?  As for baseball, this has been fun.  The kids both overwhelmingly stated they wanted to play this year.  So we have been doing some minor practice around the house.  Josie is really improving, she’s going to love t-ball.  Connor is getting better, and he is also improving.  This year he is actually enthusiastic about home practice.  He has to try out for the 8U teams, but even if he’s drafted last, he’ll be on a team and we’ll have fun.  I told the commissioner I could only “help” coach when asked to take a team.  I honestly can’t see myself running around doing drills with a pump in my chest.  But that is only a few days a week and thanks again to Dr. Lakshman, I don’t have an ileostomy bag draining full time.  So I’ll help how I can, when I can.  I’m pretty sure I won’t be nearly as intense as I was last year.  Actually, I’m very sure.  There is too much for which to be thankful right now to be even remotely concerned about a child’s throwing form.  Lets just have fun.  Patience is another gift I’ve been given recently.  I can’t explain why or how, but things that used to really set me off, no longer do. Fewer things stress me out, more things make me happy. Go figure.  TeamMarco@austin.rr.com