Seven Minute Ayubs

Seven Minute Ayubs.

Getting big muscle group work outs is not that hard.  You get to use a lot of weight and you can see results somewhat quickly.  Abs are a totally different animal.  Working out your abs requires three to five different core exercises.   But what if I told you, that you could, in fact, get your ab work done in just seven to ten minutes with very little effort on your part?  It’s called dry heaving for seven straight minutes.  And it works!  Even though I don’t have a six pack (due to the layers of fat underneath), trust me, my abdominal muscles are as strong as anyone’s right now.  And all I have to do is stand over the sink, wretch, and spit.  Thanks Cancer!  Downside is I think one of my “workouts” may have caused a slight tear – possibly resulting in a hernia, will get that checked on Tuesday when I go back for fluids. 

Saturday, Connor had another baseball game. It was cold and wet and we still played.  Connor had a great time and we eeked out a win in the last inning with one of our guys hitting a 3-run home run off some cheeseball pitcher just throwing grapefruits at them.  I didn’t feel great, but I was still getting the ball across the plate and in the zone.  Later that evening we attended a friend’s birthday party.  It was fun seeing everyone, but I no longer have the stamina for all of that.

The host came and sat with me for a few minutes and gave me some nice compliments about staying alive and doing it with a good attitude.  Nita later told me that he said, “If that was me, I’d be doing hookers and heroine until the end.”  I laughed because apparently, I was doing one of the two (more later). I also got a lot of feedback on the blog and how much people are changing their own family dynamics based on reading them.  That makes this way more worth it.

These last few weeks have been rough.  Some of my friends have been really concerned thinking I’m at death’s door.  I may be circling the block, but no one is on anyone’s doorstep just yet.  There was a perfect storm of pain meds, allergens in the air, and your body’s natural defenses.   I have had coughing fits and the aforementioned heaves every day for the last two weeks.  I finally remembered that I could take allergy meds and I started taking Benadryl for the allergies and that has seemed to help quite a bit.  Not completely, but a bit.  It is frustrating because my energy levels have been zapped during this latest fight, making me somewhat inaccessible and hard to visit with.

Even more frustrating is my inability to execute on plans.  I’m always thinking of a fun baseball thing I can do with the kids right after school, or a quick trip to the aquarium or main event, but instead I end up on the couch in mancave, under a blanket, trying to get some energy back.  My game face is taking a beating as it has been really hard to contain the pain and discomfort this go-around.  In fact, let me describe the allergy issue so you can understand how it goes every time I change planes (levels – sit, stand, lying down, one side or the other).

Here’s how it feels: So, you know when you have one stopped up nostril and you are sleeping or lying in bed?  Then you flip over to the other side and magically the clogged nostril opens while the previously open nostril clogs up.  Right?  Okay, imagine this same scenario with your lungs and mucus from your sinus and septum area.  You are laying on one side, everything settles and you cough enough productive junk out so that you feel moderately clear.  You go to sleep.  Then you switch sides (like you have done for over 40 years) and all of a sudden, all that junk settles in the other side…so you cough until that side is clear enough and the equilibrium sets in.  Rinse and repeat.  Toss in the occasional re-medication and pee during the night with each plane change causing disruption.  That has been the last couple of weeks. Poor Nita is also taking a beating having to suffer through my coughing and heaving fits at night.

I went to Texas Oncology to get some fluids on Tuesday and met with Dr. Netaji.  He asked about the trial and then immediately got on the phone with the lab at the hospital where my surgery was performed.  Five hours later I received a call from MD Anderson stating that my results were positive and I was accepted into the trial.  That means I will be starting the new trial meds on March 29 after a quick trip to Houston for baseline scans and bloodwork.  

A funny thing happened while I was with Netaji.  I told him about my abysmal appetite, and all the other stuff going on and he asked, “When did you take the last dilaudid?”  I told him last Friday or early Saturday.  He then said that it is a harder pain reliever than most.  And that after taking it over the course of three straight weeks that I need to ease off of the pain meds instead of quit cold turkey.

I straight up asked him, “Am I a junkie now?  Because I don’t even want to take that stuff anymore.”  He laughed and wrote me a small script and said to back it off slowly.  How funny, to think that it has gotten to this.  So, from the party this weekend, I suppose I was unknowingly using half of his hookers and opium formula.

The other good news out of Texas oncology were my numbers.  Platelets were up around 195,000; white blood cell count was at 12.7 (probably high due to fighting infection or still absorbing the dead spleen); and my CEA score was 19.9!  Again, that is a minimal jump from the last time I stopped chemo for even a few weeks.  I’m still betting on the anointing, quantum touch, oils, and prayer.  Heck, I've just added smoothies into the mix.  And ensure to make sure I'm getting protein and calories.  But only going up 3 points in two or three weeks is amazing.  Remember this summer we had the hockey stick and it was at 40 after five weeks.

Back to the trials, this is pretty big news.  We’re off for spring break, then two days of labs and testing on the 21st and 22nd, and then away we go.  I will be reaching out to some of you who offered lodging.  The first weeks of the trial I have to be there on days 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, and 15.  Then the great news is, I merely need to come in for an infusion every other week, then home for two weeks.  This is a much better scenario than I could have envisioned. Parlay that with this being a specific colorectal trial…and I’m in the group that gets two drugs instead of just one, and you never know what can happen.

The kids are totally on to the significance and severity of the situation now.  They have even been talking to their teachers and peers at school more comfortably and matter-of-factly.  We never attempted to hide anything from them, but at the same time I never announced that I was given a death sentence a year and a half ago and I’m on borrowed time as it is. 

The other day Josephine (who plans to win a million dollars on American Ninja Warrior) said she would take the family to a certain location when she won.  I’m not stating the location because knowing my group, we’ll end up on a plane next week.  Anyway, I asked if she was going to bring Connor and mom?  She said, “Yes and you too if you are still alive dad.”

Connor has asked a couple of times when I’m looking especially pitiful, if I was okay and if I was going to make it.  He then asks if there is anything he can do for me, while he gives me a hug and scratches my back.  My standard reply now is, don’t worry son, Daddy will die someday, but today isn’t that day.  Then we hug again and go back to whatever he was doing.

Josie after getting swabbed for Strep, still smiles and cuteness...the lessons are working

Wednesday night, Josephine was supposed to have a baseball game.  She had a fever and said that she didn’t want to go.  This is the same girl who cried when her first game was rained out, so we knew something was up.  I took her to the doctor early Thursday and ta, ta, da, ta, daaaaaa!!! (fanfare) She has strep, so it looks like her spring break starts now.  And we all go through the exercise of washing our hands five times more than we normally do.  She was a trooper at the doctor’s office, no tears and very few complaints about the yucky amoxicillin.

So, the job is to stay alive, keep my spirits up, and keep doing my best.  My coughing fits make it harder to have conversations with people, thank goodness for technology.  But God keeps bringing me along for the ride, so let’s see what the next adventure holds.

My appetite and coughing fits have forced me to skip a few lunches and happy hours with friends.  I have a five minute window to speak and then a coughing fit launches and hopefully subsides before it transforms into gagging and heaves.  So, it’s a little awkward to those who have seen me “looking good” the last few months.  The worst example was my best friend’s birthday celebration.  Three of my oldest (long not age) friends all went to dinner last night.  These are guys with whom I have finished off tomahawk rib-eyes, made asses of ourselves at Fogo de Chao, and generally acted like gluttons at times.  Well I could barely talk and I almost finished one slice of pizza (medium).  The guys didn’t let on much, but I know it was disturbing to them.  I kind of felt bad, but only because I know they feel the pain too.  That’s what real friends do and I certainly didn’t want to hand them another burden to carry around, they all have enough on their plates.

Last year's birthday dinner for Pete.  We forgot to take a picture this year.

I know I’ve said that with colon cancer you look good until you don’t.  Well, I still look good, I just don’t feel good.  My appetite took me down another four pounds which puts me at 20 pounds lost since the surgery.  So as mentioned before, if you want rock hard abs and need to shed that unwanted fat…Cancer is the answer!

Believe it or not I am in good spirits.  I have a feeling this is just a storm before the calm. Have you seen those memes about “without rain you wouldn’t appreciate the sun” and other silly little things like that?  I kind of have that feeling that this is my big dip to prove my worthiness and I must keep my chin up, faith strong, and family first.

I don’t know why I have so much faith in this trial, I just do (if I can just get there).  Plus, there is no alternative really, so there is that.  But it seems like the stars aligned to get me into this one.  That can’t be pure coincidence, can it?  I don’t think so.  So, keep those thoughts and prayers coming and I’ll fight to stay above ground and try to be pleasant about it.  Big news this weekend (not health related).  I’ll share with you on next week’s episode.  Everyone have a wonderful safe spring break.  God bless.  Team Marco.