The Race Continues

The race continues

We used to have a joke at Dell that every fiscal quarter was a marathon.  During the 13 weeks, there was no time for pacing oneself, you just had to sprint and get as much business as you could until the last day.  As soon as you crossed the finish line, you discovered you had already started the next race.  There truly were no breaks during that time.  Well as most of you have heard by now, I had the walking pneumonia last week, but not the boogie woogie flu.

But first, the answer to the teaser from last week.  On Sunday night, my wife, best friend Pete and his wife, and Tim Kennedy and his lovely wife all had dinner at Steiner Ranch Steakhouse.  It was a lovely evening and he’s about as nice a guy as you would want to meet…unless you are downrange.  There is no doubt he is a killer and his work ethic almost makes me feel like a whiner describing my tribulations with cancer and now normal everyday diseases.

We talked a lot about MMA, deployments, some of his shows, and ballistics. I won’t betray any confidences or inside secrets, but it was a pretty cool evening and he was even nicer than I could have imagined.  His wife was sweet and of course Pete was on his own story game.  I was in the middle of my walking pneumonia and could barely speak for five minutes in a row and had to contain several coughing fits.  I ate about five bites of steak and took the rest home.

Two weeks ago, I mentioned in my blog that I was really feeling lethargic, had lost my appetite, and was struggling to catch my breath in between coughing and retching fits. I had lost 20 pounds in the course of three weeks and was eating portions that wouldn’t satisfy my six-year-old.  I can be honest now and admit that I was wondering if that might have been the beginning of the end.  And further, would I even make it to the clinical trial?  As luck would have it, I scheduled visits with my Austin Oncologist to get fluids and checkups in the two weeks leading up to the trial.  The first time, I explained my situation but it was easily dismissed by the recent spleen surgery and medications. 

The most alarming and punctuating part of my decline was on Tuesday when another neighborhood family and ours were going to join up and take the kids to the snake farm in New Braunfels. By now you all know my son is the animal whisperer and that I wouldn’t miss this for the world.  I got up, showered, dressed, choked down an ensure for some calories and started loading the car.  But there was a chill in the air and it went right through me when I went outside of the garage.  I knew then I couldn’t make the trip; and certainly didn’t want to be the reason everyone had to cut it short and leave early.  It was then that I knew something had to give.

The Llama mind meld

On Wednesday when I went for my fluids, I told them about my coughing, gagging, appetite, and lethargy.  Dr. Netaji listened to my lungs and immediately sent me to get a chest x-ray in the building next door.  I returned with my film and sat down to get hooked up to my fluids.  Dr. Netaji and his nurse Karen came to me and said, “We’re checking you in to St. David’s Hospital.  You have an upper repertory infection that needs to be knocked out intravenously and quickly.”  They said that oral medication would eventually do the trick, but with the trial coming so quickly, there was no sense in letting it linger or possibly get worse.  So off I went to the hospital across the street.

I was checked into a room and then immediately moved to another room.  I only mention this because I think one of my Doctor buddies made the switch happen; because I ended up in the best ward in the hospital.  In fact, it was the same ward where I had my cancer surgery recovery and many of the nurses remembered me (which I found shocking).  Nita came with me to get me checked in and was both worried and glad that this was happening.  They started on my antibiotics, breathing treatments, and all the other fun things you do to fix pneumonia, but I felt silly for having let it go this far.

My very first nebulizer treatment

What I needed to realize and need to fully comprehend now is that after the splenic embolism, my immunity is down.  I can’t just chalk things up to a mild something or other and expect it to dissipate on its own like it used to.  I need to take each little thing seriously as it comes up and not just try to tough it out.  Things are getting pretty serious now.  I’ve lost almost 30 pounds, still have a bird’s appetite, and am fighting for my life.  The trial is a nice thing to look forward to (more on that later), but is certainly not a guarantee.  I have reason to be positive and hopeful, but I really have to stay on top of all things big and small right now.

My cousin (the funeral director) stopped by, there were a lot of jokes about him showing up early

I had quite a few visitors come by to see me and it was very nice.  But possibly the best part was when Nita and the kids showed up.  The kids of course were fascinated by all the machines and gadgets around the room.  Connor saw the computer they use for scanning arm bands and medications and was thinking, “I wonder if I could play a game on this.”  We had to shoo him away from it more than once.  As the kids inspected me in my hospital bed, they noticed those leg compression things to keep circulation going.  Well Connor saw those and immediately started rubbing my feet, asking if that was helping.  What a kid.  The nurse brought them popsicles and the sugar and equipment were too much for them.  It was time for them to go.

Possibly my new favorite picture

So initially the medical team intended to keep me another night, but I was showing progress and they let me go late Friday afternoon.  I was so glad to be home.  Both kids were in the backyard playing and they immediately ran in to give me big hugs and tell me all about their day’s activities.  It was close to dinner time so Nita fed the kids, put them to bed, and then took a quick jaunt to the club for their St. Paddy’s day celebration (she absolutely needed the break). 

Later that evening, I broke into a coughing and retching fit that made me realize that I really should have stayed one more night.  When I went to bed, each time I rolled over it was the same thing over again. I coughed until my lungs cleared enough for me to breath normally.  I wondered if I might have to return to the hospital. It was exacerbated with the fact that I had to get up to urinate four times during the night.  When they pump that much fluid through you, it has to come out somewhere.  Each time I would get up and change levels I would launch into another fit.

The next morning came and I took a much-needed shower.  I took my first oral antibiotic and a sip of the new cough syrup and magically I felt cleared up.  I could take deep breaths.  I could get up and refill my water glass and not cough the entire time there.  I was clearly on the road to the mend.  Unfortunately, I had purchased tickets to cirque du soleil for Saturday afternoon.  Both of my doctors said, NFW.  I was too weak, immunity was too low, and I needed to rest some more and stay out of the public germ petri dish.  My wife took my mother instead and they and the kids had a great time.

I am feeling better, but still need to make a somewhat exponential gain in the next few days.  Thursday I start my baseline testing at MD Anderson for the trial.  Nita and I are staying with one of the Aggie Yell guys who lives nearby.  I feel very blessed to be in this specific trial.  Here is why.  When I was first informed about this one, it was specific to colorectal patients.  That means that they have more than a rough theory that any benefits will be to colorectal cancer patients. Secondly, when I was told about it there were only 20 spots open for the trial, but my platelets were too low for entry.  Two weeks later I was on the books for the splenic embolism surgery.  A week later on my follow up, I was accepted into the trial.  So is it luck that over the course of four weeks those other 8 spots weren’t filled?  Oh and I was put into “group two” which would receive two of the drugs instead of just one. 

So how does one categorize this?  Blind luck?  Or did both of my oncologists think that I could benefit the most from a trial such as this.  I can tell you by the way Dr. Netaji does things here in Austin, he is in no hurry to see me beneath the dirt.  I believe it is a combination of two caring doctors, a loving God, and the prayers of countless friends and family who made this happen.  As always, you may choose luck of the draw or any other combination of events.  But I will continue to believe that all these tests and challenges put before me are there to test my resolve.  As I keep trudging along, things keep opening up to me.  I suppose that is how it works in most things too isn’t it?  Work, family, friendships all depend on hard work and overcoming minor and major mishaps to become successful.  

Where are we now?  Well, we’re still on the path and we’re moving forward.  As “luck” would have it, the time I’m told to rest and recover is smack in the middle of march madness. My children are healthy, wife has a job, and we have enough from the auction and tournament that we shouldn’t completely crumble when my two hospital bills finally come in.  In fact, that out of pocket max should hit pretty quickly.  The trial drugs are paid for by the study and they even reimburse for travel.  So in spite of the challenges I remain positive, hopeful, and full of love.  To think, I’m actually looking forward to chemo again.

But, after all, I’m on a mission.  A mission to stay alive.  It was funny, during intake on Wednesday, the reception ladies asked me if I had any advanced directives.  I said, “Do whatever it takes to keep me above ground.  Anything!  If you had any idea how hard I’m working to stay alive right now, you’d understand.”  They looked at each other and said, “Okay, got it.”  I don’t think they really did though.  But after my kids came to visit me that day, it was obvious.  I have to keep living.  There is too much love and too much still to do.  Nita and the kids are my everything.  This entire ordeal has taught me many lessons, but that is the largest for sure.  God bless.  TeamMarco.