All I do is win

All I do is win…

Okay, so a hokey title but stick with me here.  First, this is a chemo week.  Instead of my 12^th full bore treatment, the doctors at MDA and Texas Oncology both recommended switching to maintenance medication protocol.  That means eliminating two really toxic portions and an hour and a half less in the chair.  I still have to take the Avastin and the 5FU both of which are unkind to normal cells.  I am sure there was still some residual stuff in my system because although it wasn’t crippling, it was still unpleasant.  That and I still had my trusty pump for three days.  The results were good, relatively speaking.  First, I wasn’t nearly as nauseous. I still had to take the anti-nausea drugs, but not as much.  The “freshly poisoned” feeling was very faint.  I only had to take one Imodium per day (although I may have to kick this up a unit).  It may not sound like a major victory, but trust me it is.  (I should have spelled butt with two “ts” don’t you think?).  My mouth thrush was very light and I only needed a few swish and swallow treatments.  I still had that metallic taste in my mouth, but you can’t have everything can you?

I’ve been fussing at Nita for letting Connor play with her iPhone.  On Monday on his way home from school, Connor texted me a voice message.  It was almost a full minute of “I love you, you’re the best dad, etc.”  It was wonderful.  I felt inspired and fired up Windows movie maker and put together a slide show.  As is my normal MO I, of course, got carried away and it turned into a 10 minute tribute to my family with three songs, half of Connor’s voice memo, and the pictures timed with phrases in the songs.  If you are interested and have 10 minutes to kill, here you go.  Hopefully this will come across as positive, but this video will maybe be a nice thing for the kids to watch later…maybe even with their kids someday.  I’ll do another one or two with me saying a few things so (as noted in a previous blog) they’ll have a voice to match and remember.

Connor has made some big strides this week.  His schoolwork has been fantastic, his attitude has been amazing, and his love obvious.  We had a really in-depth cancer talk Tuesday at dinner.  Of course on chemo week I have a pump which is both visible and audible, thus hard to ignore.  He said, “Dad, if I get cancer, I will be tough like you are.”  What I wouldn’t do to make sure that never happened.  In fact it is making me tear up just writing this, real tough huh?   So we talked about it and it was the most he’s spoken about it in, well, ever.  Josie then said, “Dad I wish I could get the cancer instead of you.”  I begged her to never utter that phrase again and we changed the subject. 

 

A friend brought Connor some cow bones to dig up

Josie had baseball practice later that night and I couldn’t attend (pump).  When Nita brought her home she said that Josie took a bad hop off the leg and had to sit out a few minutes.  Josie then explained to me that she didn’t want to go back in, but a voice in her head told her to go back on the field.  The next night was game day.  While we were putting on her uniform, you could very easily see her fresh baseball shaped bruise on her leg.  We talked about baseball not being her favorite sport, but that Martinez’ don’t quit.  We then went outside and took a little batting practice before dinner.  Later at the game she got two hits, and RBI and scored a run.  While playing third base a ball was hit to her and although she didn’t field it, she didn’t shy away or move away from the ball.  She stood right in front of it.  After the game I told her how proud I was of her and she announced that she didn’t quit.  Another kid on her team started saying, “I quit, I quit” to which Josie responded, “Other families might quit, but Martinez’ don’t.  Right dad?!”  That is exactly right my love!  My girl!  It’s all coming together.

I stayed up Tuesday night because I couldn’t stop watching Pitch Perfect 2.  Don’t judge me!  It was hilarious and I remember seeing it with my best friend and our wives.  It was actually funny because Pete and I sat together and our wives sat together, truth be told, we dragged them along to the show.  We originally saw this in the theater well before the cancer presented itself.  There were a few songs that have since become more relevant  Two of which are: “Live like you are dying” and “All I do is win.”  Plus it’s a fun movie about some underdogs doing the unlikely and finding a way to win.

For anyone following me or March Madness or basically not living under a rock, you have to know by now the Texas A&M Aggies own the greatest basketball comeback in NCAA history…in any capacity.  Down 12 with 44 seconds left, they came back and shocked the basketball world last Sunday. It was nothing short of miraculous.  A win for the ages.  And to the consternation of some that last 44 seconds will forever be replayed in every NCAA tournament for the rest of time.  It will most likely play in a loop along with the Christian Laettner shot.  They did more than win a game, they etched themselves into borderline immortality.  And after all, aren’t we all trying to leave a legacy of some sort?  Even with the exit on Thursday, that record may never be broken.

I’ve had a full week now to digest the results from last week’s scan.  I probably expected too much and didn’t really allow the amazing news to truly sink in. I finally see what an amazing gift I was given.  A full stall on the cancer’s progression.  Significant reduction in the size and density of the tumors.  A go-to protocol that my body can mostly tolerate to destroy the cancer.  A break from the poison that was wrecking my white blood cells and bone marrow.  Finally, more obvious as I was making my video, more time with my amazing family and friends.  In the movie Meet Joe Black, Anthony Hopkins was visited by Death.  Death was curious and decided to stick around a few extra days instead of taking Mr. Hopkins with him on his designated day.  Anthony, though somewhat frustrated with all the conditions, did realize that he was given the very precious commodity of time to be with his family a bit longer.  He was a media mogul with zillions in assets, but found that his family was really his greatest possession.  As we celebrate Holy Week I am reminded of the conversation I had with my priest a couple of weeks ago.  No matter what, I’m going to be okay.  I have done some pretty amazing things in my life, have asked forgiveness for my sins, and forgiven those who have and haven’t asked it of me.  My fare was paid 2000 years ago almost to the week.  So my job is to enjoy life, love my wife and children fiercely, and rack up some quality experiences with my friends and family.  If the remission comes later on, well, that just extends the party.  Happy Easter and God bless.  TeamMarco@austin.rr.com