Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right…

What is with the clowns?  Kids if you are reading this 10 or 15 years from now, there were a series of terroristic threats being made by people, dressed as clowns.  Some idiots, dressed as clowns, tried to freak people out randomly, a stupid prank that went wrong.  It wasn’t a huge thing, but pop culture is what it is and due to social media and click bait, took on a life of its own.  So the neighborhoods and schools went on alert for clown watch 2016.  It was a funny microcosm of how quickly things can spin up or spin down in our present time. 

Clown Crawl 2005

Before we had kids, Nita and I went on a few pub crawls dressed as clowns. In fact, it was called the “clown crawl” and there were about 40 or so of us and it was awesome.  It became pretty well known and almost anticipated by some local establishments. Yes, we responsibly rented a bus and no one was allowed to bring personal vehicles. It was pretty epic.  Apparently trying to pull that off this year would get a busload of folks beaten, shot or worse.

The Americans won the Ryder Cup this weekend and it was an amazing display of golf.  Also last week we lost one of the great pioneers of the game, Arnold Palmer.  Our club was associated with Mr. Palmer and many of our board members flew up to Latrobe to meet “the king.”  It was bittersweet from a golf perspective but inspiring to watch Davis Love III and his rowdy group bring home the cup.  It truly is one of the great events in sports, testing all parts of the game.  There is nowhere to hide in these matches, everything must click.

 

Speaking of inspiring, the kids were each amazing this week.  I had to get an echocardiogram on Wednesday due to my blood pressure spike a couple of weeks ago, and it brought thoughts of how I have been rushing the development of the children.  By that I mean normally you can let things play out and just be semi-proactive with role playing and semi-reactive knowing that they need to fall down a few times to fully learn a lesson.  But most of the time those are age appropriate.  But due to my condition and timeline (whatever it may be) I am forced to perhaps rush things that might be a little bit early for their age range…but it is paying huge dividends.

Connor calling dove

First Connor.  We went dove hunting Sunday morning.  Not a single dove flew over us, nothing.  But Connor was patient, and more importantly practiced amazing gun safety with his .410.  He did everything right.  We practiced aiming and swinging the gun with the cowbirds that flew over.  As soon as the birds flew by, he unshouldered his gun and opened the break action shot gun.  He has also learned not to put the finger on the trigger until he’s ready for his slow steady pull.  After the “hunt” I let him squeeze off about 10 rounds at a box in a tree to get some target practice in.  He’s such a good kid.

We got home and he wanted to play Wii bird hunt.  However, he had a friend over a few weeks ago and they had misplaced one of the controllers.  I made him find it before he could play with the other one.  The lesson, take care of your stuff.  He looked for about 45 minutes until he collapsed, completely exasperated.  He was upset, tired, and annoyed.  He learned that when friends are over, he is responsible for letting them know the rules of the house…and he will pay the price for it whether he does “it” or not.  Not necessarily age inappropriate, but it would have been easy to cave and just let him use the other one.  Everything is a lesson.

Josie has been doing great at school.  There are some kids who are having issues adjusting to kindergarten, but Josie is not one of them.  Her only challenge is the intake application of the rules and when to apply exceptions.  There is a little girl who has been teasing her.  Josie has told her again and again that it doesn’t bother her and not to waste her time.  But the other girl is convinced that she can get under her skin.  Josie then said, “Daddy, she doesn’t understand that I am in control of my emotions and she can’t hurt me unless I let her…and I won’t.”  We have done some role playing around bullying and being in charge of your self-worth.  Apparently she got it!  So she’s trying to let this little girl know that she’s only wasting valuable play or friend time by trying to see if there is a chink in Josie’s armor.

Josephine continues to amaze me.  Nita and I have said (and many of her teachers) that she is an old soul.  For a girl who will turn six in November, that girl has a confidence and strength that is unbelievable.  I know many of you who have not met or talked to her think I’m exaggerating or just being “that dad.”  I am telling you, this girl is going to do great things someday.  Keep her on your watch list, she’s a game changer.

This was an off week for me, so I had blood work but no CEA scores.  The side effects from last week dissipated enough for me to go into the office for a couple of days.  Basic nausea, heartburn, diarrhea, and some mouth issues.  I got fluids a couple of times and my tipped port is a bit of a nuisance. It doesn’t allow the nurse to go straight in, it’s at a slight angle, and they have to use a one-inch needle instead of the ¾. When they miss, it doesn’t feel good to say the least.  But it isn’t all that bad and like most other parts of this, the pain goes away pretty quickly.

I also learned that a good friend is now going through what I’ve been dealing with for a year.  He just started his first treatment of chemo and I stopped by to give him some support and answer questions.  We talked about pump care and handling, sleeping and showering with it and how to drive without having the seatbelt rub the needle in your port.  It was terrible to be having this conversation with someone I love and respect, but awesome that I was able to help and provide some guidance.

When you first hear that you have cancer you feel very alone.  Not by isolated per se, because people come out of the woodwork with food, calls, visits, everything you could want or need.  But you feel so overwhelmed by the cancer diagnosis and all the moving parts that are out of your control; it feels like you’ve fallen into a hole.  So you sit in your metaphorical hole and wonder if or how you can climb out.  When you are sitting in the infusion chair a few times a week getting chemo or fluids, it gives you even more time to think about your situation. 

Once you overcome this first shockwave, you look around and realize there is no pity in chemo camp.  No one feels sorry for you or themselves there. People are joking, working, laughing, and sharing stories. (There is one sweet old man who reads a novel to presumably his wife each time they are there…however he reads it in such a monotone manner I want to grab the book from him and give it some oomph. Change the character’s voices and use the author’s punctuation marks as intended, but of course I don’t.  Think I should? Would that be rude?).  The only sad faces are the loved ones sitting next to patients really, but after a few treatments the environment takes hold and they learn to accept and smile along.

So you show up, take your medicine so to speak, and thank the nurses on your way out.  This is the point where your confidence starts to come back.  You get more comfortable with the routine and realize that you are alive!  You can still do so many things; and understand that precious moments with friends and family are not to be squandered.  This is the rebirth and the newer understanding of the value of life. 

I was channel surfing after the kids went to be Wednesday night and one of the SAW movies was on.  SAW is a horror movie franchise where the lead guy was diagnosed with cancer and finally thinks he understands the value of life.  But instead of writing a helpful blog he kidnaps people and puts them in precarious booby trapped situations where the victims usually have to make a choice about how badly they truly want to live.  Their dilemma is explained to them by a nefarious and evil looking clown doll.  Those choices involve extremely painful decisions and sometimes include violent crimes against others.  One might even have to cut off a limb in order to make it out of the trap.  So his theory is once you fight so hard for your own life, that you’ll never take life for granted again.  Personally, I think reading a blog is a little easier don’t you?  Don’t worry I will not be coming over (dressed as a clown) to kidnap you and put you in a trap.  I don’t have time or the engineering skills for that.

Speaking of engineering, our air conditioner went out in the upstairs unit.  You might look at the date and say, “big deal.”  But we are in central Texas where we still have 90 degree days.  So it is kind of a big deal.  It’ll cost a bit to fix and the part won’t be in until Monday.  But rather than complain and get upset we decided to have a living room campout instead.  The kids and Brownie (the dog) were elated. It’s all part of seeing things through a different lens and finding solutions and silver linings in day to day challenges.

So there it is.  I pulled in an extremely violent movie to demonstrate another point.  I bet many of you never thought that you’d have Field of Dreams and Where the Red Fern Grows married with SAW as learning tools.  I suppose I didn’t either.  But I also didn’t anticipate that my friend and I would have been pulled into a booby trap of sorts with tests, decisions, challenges, and pain to overcome and fight and keep living.  But we did, and will continue to do so.  Because I do love living, love my family, and love my friends and neighbors.  And I’m going to the A&M v. Tenn game this weekend.  So how is that for carpe diem (seize the day)?  God bless and all you Floridians and east coasters, be safe during Matthew. TeamMarco@austin.rr.com

One of the items that will be available for auction, it's pretty amazing