The Refiner's touch

The refiners touch.  September 17, 2015.

I’m currently in the testing and preparation phases for chemotherapy.  There are a lot of folks who are still in shock and asking “why.”  It’s a perfectly natural reaction.  Personally I’m not much of a “why” guy, I’m more of a “well we’re here, lets fix it, break it, or learn to live with it” kind of guy.  My PET scan is scheduled for September 17^th, am trying to get an appointment at MD Anderson the week of the 28^th, and will have my port installed on October 5.  Chemo should start either later that week or the following.  Technically I’m not supposed to start any chemotherapy until a full six weeks after surgery. 

Had a fun little scare today.  The oncology nurse called me and said I needed to come in today to go over my PET scan report from 6:30 this morning.  I asked if I could just get an email and she said, “What if I told you that you REALLY should come into the office today?”  Yep, that is exactly what I was thinking.  So I showered and tried to calm Nita down.  She started making arrangements to have the kids picked up from school so she could go with me.  I asked her simply, “Can you hold it together?”  She said she could.  Minutes later I get a call back from the nurse and she apologizes and says, “The doctor said you had already accepted the situation, you were well aware of the plan, and having the PET confirm the findings would not be a boot shaker (not his term).  I’m sorry if I alarmed you.  He can call you, but since you already know all this, then you don’t need to come in.”  Surely she knows I’m on blood pressure meds right?

So the good news is, it isn’t any worse than we thought, the lung spots might be a little smaller than originally anticipated; the bad news is that it isn’t really much better either.  It is what it is.  We have the same fight ahead of us, so there really is no change in plan.  I did get a heartwarming note from one of my customers who said not to give up on the power of faith and love of family.  His father had just celebrated his 75^th birthday after having been diagnosed and treated for a brain tumor and cancer.  After being given a poor prognosis he’s now completely healed.

I'd also like to give a little shout out to my company.  They had shirts and wrist bands printed and as I dropped into the office yesterday for an on-site visit they were showing their support.  Our Houston office even got into it.  I guess going from a big corporate conglomerate to a smaller company was a good choice after all.  And I love my team. It has been my opinion that what you do is not as important as for whom you are doing it, well this certainly has validated my decision to come to PDME!

 

So while we do this, I’m living my life as normally as possible.  I might spend a little more time with the kids, read an extra story, and maybe my hugs are a little longer and tighter.  I was even able to have breakfast with my son at school Wednesday.  

So back to the “why.”  As it turns out another friend was going through a tough time at work and one of his friends posted this story and I find it both helpful and inspiring:

The Refiner’s Touch
There was a group of women in a Bible study on the book of Malachi. As they were studying chapter three they came across verse three which says, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study. That week the woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest in silver beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that, in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot - then she thought again about the verse, that He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. For if the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's the easy part -- when I see my image reflected in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep His hand on you and watch over you until He sees His image in you.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN.

So we’ve all heard similar stories of iron smiths, glass blowers, hell even Sam Elliot telling us about truck making, etc., and what it takes to forge the finest blade/vase/whatever.  Also, I’ve often said that no athlete accidentally wins the Olympics.  It takes hard work, tremendous effort, and a never-give-up attitude.  I’ve had a very blessed life.  I’m no stranger to hard work, but can admit I’ve also gotten a little lazy and complacent over the last few years.  So maybe my “why” is there are some impurities that need to be burned away and it is my time to sit in the fire.  But I have faith that my Refiner (intentionally capitalized) has His eye on me and will pull me out at the exact right time.